A Suspicion of Phone Booths

That's what a cluster, the plural description, should be for the above side-road communicative convenience boxes.




Let me explain.



A while ago, late one night, Hubbie and I, rather than drive out to eat, realised we were much too lazy to go anywhere and instead decided on picking up some pizza to eat-in at home.

Simple. Pizza. Cheesy, saucy, yummy goodness.

Anyway, I had ordered, but had walked back to the car to talk to Hubbie while we waited for the pizza.



As we chatted, Hubbie had noticed an expensive looking car parked near us, and also the man who seemed to own the car. He made comment on the car (as men do), but we sort of ignored it.

Until expensive-car-man (EC man) walked over to the nearby phonebooth positioned on the footpath, just outside the pizza shop.

And made a call.

We didn't really think much of it, until the point that EC man noticed that Hubbie had noticed HIM. EC man sort of looked over a few times, suspiciously, and it was once we started to make more comments about the man, that I made the awesome realisation that something shifty was going on. In fact, something shifty was ALWAYS going on, when someone used a phone booth.

EC man was dressed well, was driving a very expensive car, and no sorry, did not park his car to order pizza like us. These days everyone has a mobile, and even if EC man's mobile battery had gone flat, I highly doubt that he with the posh car did not have possession of a in-car charger.

Think about it: EVERYONE has a mobile, really everyone. He clearly did not pull over to make a phone call on his mobile, which would not have alerted us in the slightest, to see a man talking on his mobile in his car. Nowadays, kids have mobiles, hanging off lanyards around their necks, and older people, grandparents, retirees, are getting in on the act. In fear of sounding politically incorrect, EVEN poor people have mobiles. I worked in an expensive but rundown inner-city suburb a few years back, which abounded in poor people, and these poor people, had dogs following them, AND a mobile, albeit most likely pre-paid, but still, A MOBILE!

So how is it that EC man doesn't have one?

And here's the clincher..... he does. He just didn't wanna use it. Usage of his mobile, while involved in "funny" business, may at some stage work against him to provide evidence of his guilt in the matter. His partner would come across a compromising message, or get a phone call that links him to shady dealings. The phone booth allows him the anonymity to make a call and not have it traced back to him.

Now I'm starting to sound like my parents. Look, he COULD be partaking in some other unsightly business, who knows. What I know for sure is that in this day and age, with the abundance of mobile phones, accessibility to them regardless of socio-economic background, how can a well-dressed man driving a posh car not have a mobile phone? His use of the phone booth can only mean one of a few scenarios, with the general feeling being that there is definitely some funny business going on, WHENEVER a phone booth is involved.....



Anyway, the conclusion? The man ended up finishing his phone call, and he promptly left.

Leaving me wondering how many more phone booths were also in a cloud of suspicion across the city.....

getting Lost in the flashbacks....

I've come across a realisation about myself in the last couple of nights. While watching the Lost series re-cap 2 nights ago, and then the actual last ever episode of Lost last night, amidst my smiles and tears of sadness and happiness, I realised that I was really enjoying the flashback scenes.


It wasn't just the fact that it was the final episode and I was getting all sentimental, what with the sudden visions of what the characters had gone through in the last 6 seasons, however that did really add to the nostalgia of the episode. It was realising that I REALLY enjoyed the flashbacks, and I had enjoyed the glimpses we got as viewers, of the lives of the Lost characters throughout the entire series. In fact, it was what drew me into the show over the years..

It was never the storyline of a plane full of people shipwrecked on an island that captured me. It was having the TV on late at night, in the background, and watching temporarily while a character's past was explored. Then the story would move back into the present world, to explain how the past had affected that particular character's personality, morals or decisions.

The more I thought of it the more I realised, that quite simply point blank, I LOVE flashbacks. I started thinking of other shows and forms of media that I enjoyed. Angel, one of my all time favourite shows, had recurring flashbacks where we would see where Angel/Angelus, or one of the other vampires/demons first got their beginnings.

I would love those scenes, as they provided a view into a world that we weren't readily exposed to. We were only privy to the present world of Angel and his crew, and so being given a small window into his past world felt like a privilege. Understanding why certain present choices and actions were made, and how it related to the past, made everything gel together, and made the entire Angel-verse that much greater, unique and intricately involved.

Then I remembered my current obsession (and possibly long with-standing), the Twilight series, and how in Eclipse we are given Jasper's and Rosalie's back-stories; it gives us an understanding of why they are the way they are. I LOVED these parts, how whole chapters were devoted to these characters and their past lives, and the one thing I've kept saying to bestie Red (also a fellow Twilight obsess-ee), is how I really hope the movie version shows us these characters prior selves, and not just merely glosses over it, like some scenarios and story plots that we witnessed in the New Moon movie.

Even The Bold and the Beautiful (yes as daggy as it sounds but I hold no regrets for loving this show!) has flashbacks, often when a character is going through a particularly emotional moment, such as the experience of strong love or loss, and they start to "remember" the past, the good old times.... I love those moments! Yes, the moments they visualise are always things that actually happened in the shows history which played out on TV once upon a time, but still, looking at the past or being reminded of it is something I love in that ultimate daytime soap of soaps.

And all in all, this love of flashbacks I own lies testament to my love of psychology. It all makes sense really.

The flashbacks in mediums such as TV, film or books gives us a window into a world that we are not aware of, due to the nature of these mediums usually and in most cases exploring a story in the PRESENT. Seeing the past allows us as consumers of these mediums to understand why the characters we have grown to know and love are the way they are, and provides depth to the story so that we can better relate to the characters and scenarios we discover. The depth is needed; it helps us bond, attaches us to these stories and characters. We feel the characters and their lives and it becomes more real.
We see the transition: them= then ; them=now. We begin to analyse the process, however subconsciously, of how they came to be like THAT, and what was going through their minds when they did THAT. Because we start to understand their mind. And that makes them more real, then the medium itself.

I say we, when I really mean I :) However I think I'm not the only over-analytical mind out there.

In a nutshell? I love flashbacks in media. Because I love psychology.

As for Lost? I was never a Lost devotee. But having seen episodes here and there over the last 6 seasons, and then watching the final episode, however enlightened I may be it's still left me asking questions. So I'm going back to the very beginning!

Dear: The Hoverer

Dear: The Hoverer




Could you please not hover over/beside/near/around the corner from me at work? It is really frustrating and puts me off my work duties, such as checking emails, surfing the net, reading blogs and other miscellaneous web-related activities.

It's not that I feel guilty doing things other than work: no, to the contrary, I am relaxing from all the pressure of work life, and giving myself a well-deserved break after killing myself to get all the schedules done for the day. So now I choose to rest and relax. Just as you seem to choose to hover annoyingly over me.

And pace. I don't know which is worse. When you hover I try to listen, perk my ears up, to try work out whether you are on my left or right, whether you are directly behind me watching me work, or only a few steps away, waiting and watching to catch someone, anyone, out of line.

When you pace, it is unexpected. You appear suddenly out of the corner, striding down the passageway towards me. And just when I think you're out of sight, I click my web browser window back to the main screen, only to have you unexpectedly turn back, coming the way you came from, leaving me to frantically rummage with my computer mouse to click to a work screen, in order to not make you suspicious of my work activities.

Because there is nothing suspicious. I am merely resting. Relaxing. Taking a break from the busy-ness and stress.

You make me stress more. So I must relax more. The more you hover and pace the more and longer I must relax. Because your annoying work habits prolong my rest. Really, it's true.

And I need to hide my activities from you. Because you are my Grand-Daddy Boss - only in the hierarchical sense, definitely not in the other sense, eeeeew, yuck! - and in the end, you are in charge.

So please go away. You are cramping my non work-related style.

M.I.A: A Poem

In light of the fact that I have been totally absent from blogging for what seems like forever, rather than chronicle the exciting and fantastic adventures of my everyday life in an effort to update the blog world, I decided to compose a poem.




Ahem.



The biggest news I have to share

Would be about our latest dare

We bought a block of land you see

A house to build upon will be



My Swedish friend came back to visit

(Odd to visit her home don't you think?)

Nonetheless we all had fun

And back in December she will come



Another friend of mine did wed

For 8 years now a life they'd shared

The day was great! we talked, laughed and danced

And took stupid photos 'til we pissed our pants



My cousin came from overseas

And I took her out to a Hens Night Party

We had good times, took heaps of shots

(Both alcoholic and photo sorts!)



On the work front, it has been flat out

Since our boss here decided to depart

But having returned from her South African cruise

All our worries have gone, and our blues



As for my dear cousin Legs' days

She's still planning her matrimonial ways

And she has been asking me for advice

To which I think it is really nice :)



My Bestie's boy, Wine we call him

some days are good, some are a whim

It's up and down, but generally I believe,

all of us are different - so accept it, PLEASE!



My overseas bestie is planning her return

A visit only (I know, I know)

Her sister is going through a pregnancy

And a doting aunty my friend will be!



We've had an invasion of disgusting pests

Portugese Millipedes - ugh (are they migrants?)

They come into the house and slide upon our floors

And we just pick them up and hurl them outdoors



A revelation it seems 'bout Ricky Martin

He prefers men - have I been dim?

My love for his music has kept me biased

But now I must accept his truth, not deny it



Speaking of which, went to see George!

Michael that is, of Wham! days - and oh Lord

He is a true talent, genius and a star

A musical legend he is by FAR



Some sad news of late from overseas

A cousin of mine met his fate unfortunately

He died before his time, a shock for all

But when you rise too fast, eventually you must fall



Still Twilight-ing, Eclipse I have read

Starting Breaking Dawn soon - and yes I do care

These books are addictive, they make me mad!

More often than not, I go from happy to sad



A positive spin on things I try to do

It keeps me sane and feeling brand new

It's important to focus on life's good things

Like love, health and happiness, and all else that it brings.




I think that sums up the last few months perfectly. At the time I felt there was really no way I could write a blog that measured up to the immensity of information and emotion of my last blog, regarding Richard Carlson's death. But time helps you think, move on, and think of things in perspective.

So, I re-introduce myself to you, as Miss S :)

News via Satellite

Initially, I was going to write a blog today about one of two things, of which were still undecided:


- the recent mosquitoes in our house replacing the spiders and moths

- all the annoying people in my life, including two new incidences that occurred overnight.

And I've been feeling sad, depressed, sorry for myself, frustrated, angry, hateful, confused, disenchanted, you name a negative emotion, I've felt it very recently.

I decided to try be pro-active just moments ago. I was going to do this last week and then I forgot, got sidetracked. So I decided to follow up on my prior plan. I did a google search just now on "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." It's a popular self-help book that I read years ago, by Richard Carlson. It was the first book of it's kind that I read, where I started to change, think more positive thoughts, and believe in the power of my thinking, way before The Secret.

As I started to view this website (at www.dontsweat.com) I noticed the main message was from his wife, Kristine. I was a bit puzzled, thinking, "isn't Richard the one with the positive messages and advice?" I simply thought she was writing an entry, and perhaps Richard's contributions were elsewhere in the site.

Then I read something she wrote, along the lines of 'if you had one hour to live, what would you do, Richard did this.'

Something started to become apparent in my mind. I glanced at the slideshow of pictures on the left of the screen, pictures of Richard and his family, suddenly viewing them as pictures from the past, not the present. I scrolled down and discovered the link "Richard Carlson Memorial Site."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. As I continued to read Kristine's message, searching for any clue as to what made this horrible event happen, I found my answer.

Richard died 3 years ago, on December 13 2006, from a pulmonary embolism, as the plane he was in travelling to New York descended. I dont know that condition, but I read it as something in his head snapping as the pressure of the planes descent became too much.

As I continued to read throughout the site, and try get more information, I grew so sad. I was saddened by this sudden, unexpected news. His book was the first one that started to change my thinking. It really made an impact on me. I started to think differently, speak differently, make different choices for the better, all to better my life and the lives of those around me.

However, I was also saddened by myself. Here I was, whining and whinging about people in my life, upset by these little things, little events, when as Richard says in his book "Will this matter 100 years from now?"

No, it won't. But his passing may well.

I feel so stupid, so petty. And I am absoutely devastated. I'm at work and praying that no one sees the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill over as I write this. Such a wonderful, inspirational man, so positive and well-intentioned, with such good in his heart, just.... gone.

His work made such an impact on me. And I was going back to it, going back to the beginning where it all began, searching for some guidance, some inspiration, when this. I just can't believe it.

It's common knowledge that illness or death can really put things in perspective for you. Nothing is truer for me today. I'm so upset by my recent actions, thought patterns, and general negative energy. Simultaneously I am making a concerted effort to change, and to look at everything in a new and positive light.

In Richard's legacy, I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore.

Fake Chicken makes me tired and my stomach bloated

Yes these are my sentiments hours after I''ve finished my bought-lunch at work. I should have known better: I was eyeing off that meat in the Thai Chicken sandwich, and I REALLY should have known better than to trust the guy behind the counter. Of COURSE he was going to praise it and say it was the best sandwich since sliced bread was invented. Oh well.


Perhaps it doesn't help that today is a 43 degree day, and every time I step out to have a break from work, I come back in minutes later feeling even MORE tired and deflated, as if the weekend's heat, busy-ness and lack of sleep wasn't enough on it's own.

In reference to some of the stuff I mentioned in my last blogs......

Well on Saturday my bestie Red ended up coming over, just a spur of the moment thing. It was nice and I guess showed me what I needed to see and feel, which is that she cares, irregardless of where she spent her New Years Eve. And there was no mention of her boy being upset at anything I may have said (!) so that was good.

Saw my extended family yesterday, inclusive of talk-too-much cousin AND Legs, closely followed by Fake, as always. It was deflating for me once again to see them together, knowing that everything I've done for Legs over the years, with all the help, assistance and guidance I've provided in all aspects of her life, not to mention the fun and adventures we've had, is overthrown by a meddling cousin who only wants to be her bridesmaid in order to get closer to her fiance/family/every male relative she has.

So, I felt a bit sad, but I take comfort in one thing my mum said, something I truly believe in: the truth will come out in the end. If a person has bad intentions, there is no need to become "justice" and lay the law down on them. The Universe will do that for itself.

I've trusted in the Universe before and it has not failed me. So I need to stay focused and just let things unravel in their own time.

Back to work.

My ANGER Management - Part 2

Episode 3. One of the things I mentioned a few blogs ago, was the non-invite we received. This came (or should I say didn't come) from my bestie's boyfriend. Let's call her Red, and him, Wine.


I love them both dearly, and it hurts me to say I've been disappointed, by them out of all people. The simple fact is, they organised a NYE without us, with ALL of Wine's friends, and when I asked what they were doing, Red was upset that they'd forgotten to invite us. I believe it was selfishness, on Wine's behalf, that prevented him from remembering us, because a good month to two months earlier, we were sitting near him and his friends as they discussed this NYE evening they were planning, and back then I didn't know it was NYE they were talking about, only when I 'd heard of their plans days after Christmas did I put two and two together.

Now, as for my bestie, Red, I know she can be forgetful. But then, the other night, as we were talking amongst a larger group of friends, I heard her say "you can't get everyone together." That just shits me because I heard Wine count off about a dozen other names that were there. Gee, funny that. I thought it was heard to get everyone together. Yet, all of Wine's friends were there. Hmmmm. Maybe something to do with being invited.

Yes I am very sour. For many reasons. Hubbie and I are always asking around, seeing who is doing what for NYE, yet somehow, other people (minus a few family members) always forget us. And then when you're forgotten from your own best friend..... It makes you feel sad.

On top of the fact that your best friend and her boyfriend, are now suddenly all bum-chummy with HIS best friend and girlfriend, and it's like "oh, sorry, do we move over now and get thrown in the gutter because there's someone new in town?"



Episode 4. Sigh. At the end of the day, it's fear. Fear of losing someone close. It's that fear that's brought about an increased anger towards Wine from me, and the other night, as he was giving my Hubbie shit, I, in a subtle however letting-you-know way, told him to back off. I just got pissed off. Don't you go stirring him, you don't have that right. You've diminished the value of our friendship by not giving us respect, don't go acting all male bonding and I-get-you, you-get-me back sorta way.

He was soooo silent towards me for the rest of the night, that I kinda felt bad, and then I was like, "why do I bloody have to speak, and piss people off?!" But they pissed me off first! It is so irritating. I wanted him to take it as a joke, and not hear me say it with venom and intention. But alas, it failed. I'm sure Red will tell him I was only joking. And I pray that's the case, as we don't need more drama to fuel our already-fiery friendship.



Episode 5. This is a big one. Connected to my wine-related blog from a while back, as it's this person's partner that is also contributing to my dismay.

Let us call them Mouth and Moody.

This is the worst one in fact. Because when it's got to do with someone in your family, in particular, someone in your Hubbie's family, it makes things that much harder to settle.

My ongoing problem with Mouth and Moody, which has significantly increased in scale from the moment they met my family, is that with Mouth, she:

talks about herself constantly, including bullshit stories like how many pieces of toast she had, etc

is selfish

competitive

is constantly comparing everything in her life to everyone else's

is always right



Moody is:

as the name suggests, VERY moody

is only in a good mood when it suits him

treats his family and extended family VERY well, but when it comes to his in-laws, is quite rude.

when generally talking or giving advice, comes across as arrogant, dogmatic and condescending

an all-round smart arse



"But at the end of the day, their heart is in the right place."

I say this sooooooooooo apathetically. Because, and this is my HUGE dilemma, just because a person is 'good' or has a 'good heart' or is generally 'well-intentioned,' and hey, let's even say not an axe murderer, it does not give them the right to treat others bad, or to think they are above everyone else and that they should ge given the green card to do or say anything that they please.

So, when in company, what do I do? I hear them. I see them. And internally I flinch and I vomit. I grimace and look away. I don't make eye contact and I've pulled away slightly, in order to avoid a confrontation. And I'm scared and worried and I feel sick, because all I can think about lately, is future confrontations. Because although these people are shitting me up the wall, and it's like clutching at straws to find a positive quality about them, I can't say anything. Because when it's not your family, there is an invisible line of stitchwork imposed just over your lips, that restricts you from saying anything bad about a family that's not yours. Someone within that family can say all they like, but you can not say boo.



There have been 2 separate occasions as of late, well, actually, 3, including last night, where I know my pulled-back behaviour has become apparent to them. And there are things they are saying, in reference to the importance of family, that I find quite ironic. Don't have to tell us to keep family close, when they are the ones who are pushing us away with their anti-social and negative behaviour. With people who can only see others faults, and not their own, I honestly don't know what the answer is. Where do you look to find the solution to a problem that doesn't seem to have any answers that don't include yelling, accusations and tears?



So as you can see, the last few months have made me angry and hostile towards many people in my life. And I honestly hate that. Because I'm not that person. I'm happy, and positive about life, and like having fun. I don't like to concentrate on bad news, I don't like to speak bad about others, I believe in Karma and the Universe's energy, which is why I focus on the good things. But lately that's all gone down the drain as I've become increasingly agitated.



So what do I do? Do I let my problems go, give them up and hope the situations come back to me all fixed, or replaced? Do I forget about it and just see what happens, watch how the events play themselves out? My fear of letting go and trying to forget about these episodes and subsequent people involved, is that I may just explode in the near future from confining these feelings of sadness, frustration, fear, disappointment and anger within me. If I don't let it out, how will it go away? Lately I'm loving work, because being immersed with it makes me forget about all these freaking annoying people in my life lately!



I'm being tested big time. It's what I do in this situation that will show what I'm made of. I need to think things through. It's gonna be a big weekend, however I think I will prescribe myself a solar relaxation session tomorrow afternoon, (otherwise known as sun tanning) and let the Universe work the rest out for me.



That will have to be my Anger Management Course for now. This may or may not be continued.