This past year has been interesting. It has been unexpected at times, trying at others, and above all else a great learning experience. In retrospect, with all the new things that came into my life, whether I initially embraced them or tried to shut them out, I now believe it was all for the best.
Yesterday when I was trying to remember what my resolutions for this year had been, there was only one major one that stood out to me: And which I proudly with the widest smile can say I have given my all. That I will get to later:) However I find it hilarious that I had to think of my resolutions and could only remember one of them, having kind of forgotten the rest. Or had I? As I look through the list to see what I had achieved, although some were far from mind, the opportunites to take these things on board were definitely there, lingering.....
To read, HEAPS more.
Yes, yes and yes. Hold on there was only one point. I guess my point is to emphasise that I did take this on board whole-heartedly. I finished reading several self-help and law of attraction books, have started on "The Celestine Prophecy," started and finished "Persuasion," half-way through that got half-addicted to Jane Austen, am now almost finished reading "Pride and Prejudice" and am definitely addicted to Jane Austen. It may not seem like much (and I do feel I am missing a book somewhere) but compared to the NO BOOKS I was previously reading (or not reading if that makes sense, though I don't think it does) it is a lot, as all I used to previously read was mags and catalogues, which is really quite pathetic if you have to count that as literature. So I, am no longer, pathetic!
Ha ha.
Oh, and although I didn't work out the blogger, listing books, ticking them off thing, I've still succeeded with my main point, so there :P
To complete my first book by the end of the year.
Well, although I am not finished with this huge task, I am so proud to say that I am up to writing chapter 12 of my planned 14 chapter book. Last night I was writing and had to go back and check some stuff I'd written (I've written so much I forget what I've created!) and once again, as has happened on several other occassions, I was really pleased on reading back certain passages. I will need to revise and re-word quite a bit once I've finished my first draft, but considering I've had no formal training (other than my informal blogging of course :) ) I think I've done quite well.
AND, considering that I didn't actually start writing my book 'til the very end of Feb, I figure my resolution should be modified to extend to the end of Feb' 12: which is in fact when I plan to have the draft of my first book completed by. All is on track.
:):):)
To get fit.
Fail. Ok, well at first I went "fail, massive fail." But then I realised something. Yes I may have started the year off playing basketball with Hubbie a lot, running up and down basketball courts and what-not, with the attempts slowly dwindling to doing NOTHING of the sort. I could use genuine excuses to explain myself. Hubbie's busier schedule and starting a new job; me getting sick at one stage which removed me from all outdoor activities all together with no planned return to them - yes I could use these as an excuse, but I won't (even though I just did). If I had really wanted to do exercise, I would have found a way, no buts about it.
But then I remembered. Due to Hubbie's new job in the last couple of months this year, and the fact that he needs my car to get to and from work, I've been using the train pretty much every single day.
In the morning I walk 10 mins to work from the station. When I finish I walk 10 mins to the station. Then when I get to the station at home, I walk home for 25-30 mins, depending on what shoes I'm wearing.
That's every day of the week I work. Now that's a good effort.
So, I have half-committed to that resolution too, though unintentionally:) I could be lazy and wait 15 mins for the bus to take me home, but I start walking. Procrastination eat your heart out.
To improve all my relationships, full-stop.
This is a tricky one. Grey in some areas, as most relationships are. People who I've in the past been distant with, or who I've been angry with, I've now grown closer to, or have a new-found respect for. Others, who I have struggled with in the past, I still continue to struggle with even now.
Over Christmas I tried to put my extreme dislike of one person behind me, just for the day. It worked, and I managed to see them in a somewhat positive light. But then like today, when I remember the shit petty-ness, insecure mind games and arrogance I've received from them in the past, my anger fuels up again and I feel really mad. It's not black and white. Nothing in life ever really is. But the fact that I'm trying to learn, trying to move on, and trying to accept the fact that in order to solve your relationship problems you need to change yourself, tells me that I've made some progress.
Grrr. Changing myself at the ignorance of others just shits me. I'm not the problem. But often in life you've got to swallow your pride (and let Karma take care of the rest....)
To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development.
Yes. Simply put, yes. Through all my reading and thinking and my daily work calendar full of quotes like "First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do." - Epictetus.
To enjoy life.
This one I completely forgot I wrote down, yet this is the one that must have stayed subconciously in my mind, because this one I, we, have definitely achieved.
We have stepped it up a gear. One of our motto's is "work hard, play hard." We don't always get a chance to do what we want, what with work, family commitments, and other occasions that take up our weekends. So when we do get spare time, we go all out. It may not be big to some, but to us we take extreme pleasure in it: buying coffee whenever we go shopping; eating big and well at very decent restaurants; spoiling ourselves on quality clothes; buying unique and different furniture to furnish our home. We spend a bit more, because that's the kind of life we want: one consisting of quality. Not in the future, but from NOW. Starting from right now.
And we have been doing it, for about 6 months now. Going out, splurging, exploring the town and just smiling. Life is now. You don't wait for tomorrow to enjoy it. That's what we've been doing. Any spare moment we get we enjoy it to the fullest potential, so that when we return to work the next day we don't feel pity for ourselves in seeing someone sitting and relaxing in the sun, and enjoying a coffee at an exclusive cafe.
(Yesterday we had chocolate drizzled cappuccinos and shared a huge waffle for two, drizzled also with chocolate, with side accompaniments of ice cream, strawberries and banana - and today I'm ok with being back at work :) )
Ok, enough reflecting, now for my 2012 Resolutions!
1. To finish the first draft of my first book by late Feb, and by the end of the year have it published with a reputable publisher, with the intention of writing more books in the series for that publisher. This is my first and foremost resolution, it is direct because I know exactly what I want. I'm more than half way there. It WILL happen!
2. To continue to read more, especially in ways that will help along with my writing, and also to read books that will continue to help me better myself spiritually. This is a two-fold resolution. So we'll go to 4.
4. To do some form of exercise ( I have to sigh at this resolution ) however in particular I want to zone in on my arms and make them more toned. I have a goal in mind, as Red has some arm exercises she has to give me in paper form. As soon as she gives them to me, (hopefully soon!) I start! As for the other general exercise, hopefully I will do Zumba with my at-home DVDs, if I can't make myself apply to yoga classes. Yes, as far as resolutions go, my tone in this one sucks, but hey, I have to try, true?
5. To continue living life with Hubbie to the full in every way, shape and form.
6. To continue thinking, believing and LIVING the law of attraction, both for myself and in unison with Hubbie. Although he says I inspired him, some things he has achieved of late have inspired me so much that I want us to continue on this enlightened path, aware that all that we want and aim for in life, we will have.
These, my friends, are my wishes and hopes for myself, and I wish you, all the same happiness, love, health and success that you so rightly deserve.
"Look, I don't have all the answers. To be honest, in life, I failed as often as I succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you, my kind of success."
- (Best ever end-of-movie quote! 'Jerry Maguire.')
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading. Show all posts
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I've been out, living my life....
....which is why I haven't been around to blog for AGES. I had 2 weeks leave, which I came back to work from yesterday. It was so nice. I tell ya, there are things you just don't do when you're working. No matter how much you will yourself to do things, and tell yourself you'll do it when you get home, once you're home, full of food and sitting on the couch, those little odd jobs just DON'T HAPPEN. And they pile up too.
So during my little hols, I got them ALL done. Well, bar one (the one involving organising all our home DVDs and labelling them and then putting them in this really cute box I have!) but still, almost ALL done. Including teaching myself how to sew buttons back onto my tops/dresses. I know! Legend! :-D
The best thing about it was, as well as get all those little-itty-bitty things done, the holiday felt REALLY long, in a good way.
So much so that when I came in to work yesterday, I felt like I'd been away forever. Things felt different. They looked different, maybe due to the fact that the maintenance people here did manage to move stuff around in my absence, freaking me out upon my return into our department. But more importantly, I felt different. I just had this weird sense, that I was over it. I was ready. This voice inside me said "you have to get out of here." Which is ironic considering I had wanted to be in this place for so long before. But clearly, there was now something else pulling me away.
The writing.
Look, it may have been a bad case of Monday-itis. The whole returning to work after leave thing, can leave you feeling rather down. Maybe it was the fact that the furniture had moved, my notes were missing, or the fact that no-show boy when walking in said "Welcome back to hell."
Nice huh?
Maybe it was his partially subdued depressive angst at seeing my still-wavering happiness at having been away.
Maybe it was Kitty, once again, proving her will against mine in a work-related discussion, and in her narrow-mindedness, refusing to see any view but her own, therefore insulting my intelligence with her ignorance.
Maybe it was Densley's absence, as after all, he is the rock in our little family.
But today, I'm still having that lingering feeling. It's as if I've learnt something during my time away, and now that I have this knowledge, there's something in me saying it's time to move on. I don't know what it is. It's really hard to put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that my grand-daddy boss told me so long ago, that he wanted me to keep learning, in order to become somewhat of an 'understudy' for my boss. Perhaps that knowledge is making me tense, keeping me under pressure, and willing me to move on. I'm instinct-ed to flight, rather than fight.
So many answers to my question, yet none seem to fit.
However, me seems to think something else.
Since I have officially decided on my future path, that of a writer, I have been following through on my resolution by reading books about writing fiction, figuring out my story ideas and characters, as well as writing out a reading list, which I will no doubt add to throughout the year (which I will put up on my blog shortly), in order to improve on my writing skills/techniques/foundations, and all these little changes, however unsignificant at this early stage, yet still influential in the road I will ultimately take, are already in effect and changing my future. That's why I feel out of place right now. Because I'm in the midst of travelling to another place already.
I know. Trippy stuff.
You know what? I'm not hanging shit on no-show boy anymore, with his too-often breaks at work, arriving late yet leaving the same time as everyone else. Not only has he improved considerably in his attendance and work ethic, but this morning he agreed with me that Kitty's arguments against mine yesterday were immature and stupid.
So if he does anything now to contradict his gradual move towards good work employee record, I will make sure I have my rose-coloured glasses on first, so as not to pass judgement. :)
Anywho, this started as about me, right?
I told Hubbie last night "If anything, that voice that told me today that I need to get out of there, that's gonna motivate me even MORE to be a successful writer."
"Then do it." With a glint of 'show me' in his eyes.
You bet I will.
So during my little hols, I got them ALL done. Well, bar one (the one involving organising all our home DVDs and labelling them and then putting them in this really cute box I have!) but still, almost ALL done. Including teaching myself how to sew buttons back onto my tops/dresses. I know! Legend! :-D
The best thing about it was, as well as get all those little-itty-bitty things done, the holiday felt REALLY long, in a good way.
So much so that when I came in to work yesterday, I felt like I'd been away forever. Things felt different. They looked different, maybe due to the fact that the maintenance people here did manage to move stuff around in my absence, freaking me out upon my return into our department. But more importantly, I felt different. I just had this weird sense, that I was over it. I was ready. This voice inside me said "you have to get out of here." Which is ironic considering I had wanted to be in this place for so long before. But clearly, there was now something else pulling me away.
The writing.
Look, it may have been a bad case of Monday-itis. The whole returning to work after leave thing, can leave you feeling rather down. Maybe it was the fact that the furniture had moved, my notes were missing, or the fact that no-show boy when walking in said "Welcome back to hell."
Nice huh?
Maybe it was his partially subdued depressive angst at seeing my still-wavering happiness at having been away.
Maybe it was Kitty, once again, proving her will against mine in a work-related discussion, and in her narrow-mindedness, refusing to see any view but her own, therefore insulting my intelligence with her ignorance.
Maybe it was Densley's absence, as after all, he is the rock in our little family.
But today, I'm still having that lingering feeling. It's as if I've learnt something during my time away, and now that I have this knowledge, there's something in me saying it's time to move on. I don't know what it is. It's really hard to put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that my grand-daddy boss told me so long ago, that he wanted me to keep learning, in order to become somewhat of an 'understudy' for my boss. Perhaps that knowledge is making me tense, keeping me under pressure, and willing me to move on. I'm instinct-ed to flight, rather than fight.
So many answers to my question, yet none seem to fit.
However, me seems to think something else.
Since I have officially decided on my future path, that of a writer, I have been following through on my resolution by reading books about writing fiction, figuring out my story ideas and characters, as well as writing out a reading list, which I will no doubt add to throughout the year (which I will put up on my blog shortly), in order to improve on my writing skills/techniques/foundations, and all these little changes, however unsignificant at this early stage, yet still influential in the road I will ultimately take, are already in effect and changing my future. That's why I feel out of place right now. Because I'm in the midst of travelling to another place already.
I know. Trippy stuff.
You know what? I'm not hanging shit on no-show boy anymore, with his too-often breaks at work, arriving late yet leaving the same time as everyone else. Not only has he improved considerably in his attendance and work ethic, but this morning he agreed with me that Kitty's arguments against mine yesterday were immature and stupid.
So if he does anything now to contradict his gradual move towards good work employee record, I will make sure I have my rose-coloured glasses on first, so as not to pass judgement. :)
Anywho, this started as about me, right?
I told Hubbie last night "If anything, that voice that told me today that I need to get out of there, that's gonna motivate me even MORE to be a successful writer."
"Then do it." With a glint of 'show me' in his eyes.
You bet I will.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year, New Decade
Oh wow. Just as I'm writing this, Hubbie and mine's first song, is on tv. It's our song well and truly, amongst others. This song came out in about July 2000, right before we started going out. 10 years ago. Well 11 now.
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)