(Shhhhhhh.... don't let them hear us......)

I have to write this very quickly and quietly, just as I have to then post it on my blog and forget about it as soon as it's up there.

I can't attract more of it, in the cycle of Karma, you see. Hence my deliberate attempt at trying to forget it, by not focusing on it. By focusing on not focusing on it. See the paradox?

I am amazed at the lack of (big breath)... spiders, rather, Huntsmen in our house at the moment. This time last year the house was in the midst of a full on war, raging between me with my Uma Thurman style war paint, vs the 8-legged disgusting hairy insects that apparently hunt, like men.

Shudder.

It may have just been a bad season.

Or, In all my killing and spraying, sobbing and crying, (and waking up Hubbie to do my dirty work), we may have rid ourselves of all of them last summer.

Or, the fact that Hubbie has sprayed the exterior of our house twice this summer, may be keeping them out and away.

I don't know, but just between you and me, I am soooo relieved. Whatever reason I should attribute their absence to, I just don't want to know about them. I just felt a need to inform of my current (and hopefully prolonged FOREVER) spider-free existence :)

However, oddly enough, there has been a spate of cockroaches lately. It seems that after going through the winter millipedes, then the summer huntsmen, now the cockroaches have jumped on board to say "Yay! yay! Let's annoy Miss S!"

(That's why we must be quiet when talking about them. Because when they know I'm aware of them, more of them come.)

Shhhhhh. Back to it. You never read this.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous now

So Sunday night, I'm sitting on the couch, with Kill Bill 2 on in the background, as I read some mags and ponder the thought of going to bed. I'm totally minding my own business. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see movement.

I look, and there's a big disgusting spider scurrying across the floor, past me. Scurrying as if it knows it doesn't belong there, as if it knows I can see it.

I flew into action. After a bit of impromptu swearing, I grabbed the insect spray from the cupboard and proceeded to hunt down the mother. It had disappeared somewhere beneath the lounge, so I knew that by spraying around the lounge area, the smell would eventually force it out of its hiding.

The undenying parallels between what was happening in my lounge room, and what was happening on screen, only spurred me on more. I would've felt even more comfortable with my supposed army gear and face paint, as Hubbie has jokingly suggested that I do in my spider hunts while he's in bed.

As I spotted the ugly thing and sprayed with all my might, running around the lounge as it too, ran from me, Paula faced off with Elle on screen, culminating in a brutal attack.

I was Paula and I was getting even with this spider. This spider was going to take the brunt of my anger, it was going to represent all the spiders that had intruded into our home over the past weeks, scaring me, upsetting me, confusing me and bewildering me. I channelled my inner Paula and the spider could not do a thing. It lost the fight.

Once I'd sprayed enough, and realised the spiders sticky demeanour meant it would soon become still, I got to thinking.

Where the hell where these spiders coming from? Honestly, there had been more spiders in the past 2 weeks in our house than I could remember in one summer at my parents. It wasn't just the quantity of spiders, though, it was their size that made them stand out. They were all HUGE mothers.

I started to worry, and panic. I left the dead spider lying somewhere beneath the lounge, and went to bed.

But I couldn't sleep. I kept imagining spiders crawling up to the bedroom, and crawling all over me. I couldn't help shuddering and wincing.

I dreamt of them that night. I can't remember clearly what it was I dreamt, but I know it wasn't pleasant.

I'm worried there's a nest somewhere. I mean, spiders of this considerable size, I don't believe they've all arrived at the same party (where they're not invited.) by coincidence, by chance. They must be in a pack. And I have a really bad suspicion that they're in the very place that we can't see. I think they might be under the stairs.

That scary place, in a corner, filled with shadows, that can never have enough light, that can never really be lit up. That's the only place they could be.

Today, Hubbie has the day off. I've sent him on a mission, to buy one of those massive insect sprays with a hose, so that we can spray all over the house, inside and out. I might get HIM to take out the stuff we have under the stairs, (there is NO WAY that I will go near that area now) just random shopping bags and our empty suitcases. Then we will spray the hell out of it, and possible watch as millions and trillions of spiders fly out, like maggots out of a dead fly.

Ugh. Shudder. I feel sick.



This saga to be continued....