Well the conclusion to my whole "will there or won't there be an appropriately priced gift left on the bridal shower registry" saga is, YES, there was a few gifts left!
I put a few items together, to add up to the approximate total that my bestie and I were intending on spending... and pleasantly enough when I purchased the items they were LESS than I thought. However our sister's friend, the recipient, won't know we got the items on sale, and will assume we got them at full price.
Cool, huh? Yet I still feel slightly guilty, thinking, "oh gee, if only she knew!"
The other bit of information that put me in a super-duper GREASH FLANTASTIC mood yesterday afternoon was a conversation that occurred with my bestie during the bridal shower.
We were much too wrapped up in talk of watching the midnight premiere of New Moon at the cinemas when it comes out, as well as random offerings of wedding talk on her part, which is nothing surprising, seeing as a lot of close family and friends suspect she will get engaged soon, only how soon we don't know. And her boyfriend is constantly hinting at things, like engagement rings and proposals, but simultaneously promising her that he will shock her with the way he does it.
So in amongst all this wedding talk, of what style of ring she wants, and what colour dresses her bridal party will have (ah, such girls, planning weddings that don't even have a set date yet! - royal purple, by the way :) )she told me that because I'm married, rather than put me as a bridesmaid and have me paired up with a guy when I already have a hubbie, she's going to place me as matron-of-honour!
I was soooo excited! But a bit unsure of what to say. I mean, it's not an official invitation yet, because she isn't getting married, but then again it's a promise of what's to come, and what's to come looks awesome!
I've only been flower girl before, so the thought of being an ADULT in a grown up bridal party role, that I will be able to remember (when you're a kid things just wizz by you) is super-exciting! But I can't get too excited, I wanna save it for when the day really comes.
But I'm also so touched. I mean, with the family and friends that I have around me, a lot of them don't generally do the matron-of-honour thing, just because it's not customary in their religion/tradition. My sister had one for her wedding. And I just recently had my sister as MY matron-of-honour, because she was married and I so desperately wanted her part of my big day, in an official way. However, I know how it is, because there were some amongst my entourage that questioned my choice, wondering why you would have a married woman in your bridal party, simply assuming that bridal parties were only for unmarried people. When you need to explain to someone the role of a matron-of-honour, especially in our modern day and age, it feels like we haven't moved forward much in society and the world as a whole. Some people are that closed-minded that they don't see the world for all the possibilities out there, rather they assume that what they know and what they have lived is the only way. And that shits me. And shitted me, mostly during my getting-married period.
So I know it may be similar for my bestie. My experience may be similar to hers when she begins planning her wedding. And despite that, she is still willing to create a 'role' for me, despite how unorthodox it may be in her traditions, and despite the questions she may receive. That's how much she wants me as a part of her day.
Now that's what you call friendship :)
Now I just need her boyfriend to propose soon. I wanna be a matron-of-honour!
Showing posts with label presents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label presents. Show all posts
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Art of Recycling your Gifts
I have a bridal shower on the weekend. It's one of my closest friends sister who is getting married, and although I knew from over a month ago that I was attending the shower, I've failed to do the one thing I swore that I would do immediately: that is, buy a gift from the registry.
I know how these things go. Hey, I've gone through it myself just recently. When you're having a shower prior to your wedding, and you've set up a registry in order to receive gifts that you and your partner want, and to ease the buying angst for your guests, you still end up with countless problems.
How many presents should I place on the registry?
How much should they be priced?
Should I put more expensive items, or more cheaper items?
What if I can't find any normal priced items I want?
What's normal??????????????
AHHHH! So glad it's over for me. And then you have people, calling you up and saying "what should I get you?"
Um. The registry. Look on it. I've made a registry, because..... I want those items. Duh.
But their excuse is "I've had a look and there's nothing good."
Hmmmmm. Nothing good. To them, apparently, there's nothing good, but they fail to realise that if it's on the list, it must be what you want. So that tells me it's something else all together.
It's nothing to do with their approval of the products you've placed on your list. It's all about the right price. No one is actually willing to say that bit, but if the price fits, then the present is GREAT. Your relationship suddenly gets a price tag. What they feel about you is reduced to a price: the mental map of it goes something like this.....
"So she's my friend, but I don't see her often.... but I have known her for 10 years, and she's funny, yeah I like her...... what did she get me for my birthday last year..... oh right I didn't call her..... hmmmm.... I'll spend $50 bucks."
And everyone does it. Which is why yuor closest spend the highest amounts, and the not so lose spend.....moderate amounts.
Which leads me to today. The shower is on Sunday, and today after work I'm planning on going straight to the store to check out the registry. I was messaging my best friend this morning on the way to work (not the one whose sister is getting married) and she was asking me if I've bought anything for the shower yet. She said she had a look at the registry and that there's not much there (!) and there's only really expensive items.
ALERT ALERT ALERT went off in my head. Oh no. Now I'm one of those people. Left desperate and present-less only days before the shower. I suggested we all chip in together to buy an expensive present, and she agreed, saying her own sister will be chipping in too. Which leaves me praying really hard that tonight I find an "appropriate present" one that's GREAT! (= the correct $$$$$)
But then a thought came to my head. What if the only presents left were as my bestie had said, "really expensive?" I couldn't justify spending a huge amount, likewise I don't think I could convince my friends to help me out with the present if it was too much. She IS our bestie's sister. But exactly that, HER sister. She's not our bestie. And you need to keep money for yourself. Thngs are expensive, and ....... Yes I know excuses, excuses. Now I'M the one placing a price tag on our relationship.
Then I remembered. My wedding presents.
I know, I feel bad. Just the thought of re-wrapping presents I received for my wedding makes me feel bad, let alone doing it, but for our wedding, we got a few things that we'd already received at my bridal shower. These were from people who weren't at my shower clearly, so they weren't to know that I'd already received like-presents.
What I can picture right now in my head is The Blender. A good brand, modern blender, that we received as a wedding gift. When in fact we'd already received a blender, one we picked out ourselves for my shower.
We have two great blenders. One open, out of the box, and one still packaged up, the one which is THE double.
And I'm thinking....... maybe the the double blender.... being the double and everything... and being totally GREAT..... would be valued at the about price.... we were thinking of spending.... and being a wedding present.... my friends sister the maybe-recipient of the double blender.... wouldn't have seen it at the shower because we're not giving away the shower blender, we're giving away the double!
Ok, that just assumes we ARE giving it when in fact I haven't even concurred with my bestie, and I haven't even seen yet what is part of the registry. But what if we just give her the blender? We would save money, in fact we'd save all our money because we wouldn't be spending any on a gift!
But the question arises: does she want a blender? That blender in particular? The variety of choices these days leaves one open to a multitude of possibilities.
And what if, shock horror, she already chose a blender for her registry, it has been purchased, and because of it's purchased-ness, the registry fails to show it.... and we turn up with a........ double blender for her.
And a year from now she'll be in my situation. Late in buying a bridal shower present, and contemplating giving my double-blender which is now HER double-blender (would that make it a triple blender?) to some unsuspecting triple blender receiver.
The cycle of blender-ness. Hey, it's not that bad. It could be a toaster.
I know how these things go. Hey, I've gone through it myself just recently. When you're having a shower prior to your wedding, and you've set up a registry in order to receive gifts that you and your partner want, and to ease the buying angst for your guests, you still end up with countless problems.
How many presents should I place on the registry?
How much should they be priced?
Should I put more expensive items, or more cheaper items?
What if I can't find any normal priced items I want?
What's normal??????????????
AHHHH! So glad it's over for me. And then you have people, calling you up and saying "what should I get you?"
Um. The registry. Look on it. I've made a registry, because..... I want those items. Duh.
But their excuse is "I've had a look and there's nothing good."
Hmmmmm. Nothing good. To them, apparently, there's nothing good, but they fail to realise that if it's on the list, it must be what you want. So that tells me it's something else all together.
It's nothing to do with their approval of the products you've placed on your list. It's all about the right price. No one is actually willing to say that bit, but if the price fits, then the present is GREAT. Your relationship suddenly gets a price tag. What they feel about you is reduced to a price: the mental map of it goes something like this.....
"So she's my friend, but I don't see her often.... but I have known her for 10 years, and she's funny, yeah I like her...... what did she get me for my birthday last year..... oh right I didn't call her..... hmmmm.... I'll spend $50 bucks."
And everyone does it. Which is why yuor closest spend the highest amounts, and the not so lose spend.....moderate amounts.
Which leads me to today. The shower is on Sunday, and today after work I'm planning on going straight to the store to check out the registry. I was messaging my best friend this morning on the way to work (not the one whose sister is getting married) and she was asking me if I've bought anything for the shower yet. She said she had a look at the registry and that there's not much there (!) and there's only really expensive items.
ALERT ALERT ALERT went off in my head. Oh no. Now I'm one of those people. Left desperate and present-less only days before the shower. I suggested we all chip in together to buy an expensive present, and she agreed, saying her own sister will be chipping in too. Which leaves me praying really hard that tonight I find an "appropriate present" one that's GREAT! (= the correct $$$$$)
But then a thought came to my head. What if the only presents left were as my bestie had said, "really expensive?" I couldn't justify spending a huge amount, likewise I don't think I could convince my friends to help me out with the present if it was too much. She IS our bestie's sister. But exactly that, HER sister. She's not our bestie. And you need to keep money for yourself. Thngs are expensive, and ....... Yes I know excuses, excuses. Now I'M the one placing a price tag on our relationship.
Then I remembered. My wedding presents.
I know, I feel bad. Just the thought of re-wrapping presents I received for my wedding makes me feel bad, let alone doing it, but for our wedding, we got a few things that we'd already received at my bridal shower. These were from people who weren't at my shower clearly, so they weren't to know that I'd already received like-presents.
What I can picture right now in my head is The Blender. A good brand, modern blender, that we received as a wedding gift. When in fact we'd already received a blender, one we picked out ourselves for my shower.
We have two great blenders. One open, out of the box, and one still packaged up, the one which is THE double.
And I'm thinking....... maybe the the double blender.... being the double and everything... and being totally GREAT..... would be valued at the about price.... we were thinking of spending.... and being a wedding present.... my friends sister the maybe-recipient of the double blender.... wouldn't have seen it at the shower because we're not giving away the shower blender, we're giving away the double!
Ok, that just assumes we ARE giving it when in fact I haven't even concurred with my bestie, and I haven't even seen yet what is part of the registry. But what if we just give her the blender? We would save money, in fact we'd save all our money because we wouldn't be spending any on a gift!
But the question arises: does she want a blender? That blender in particular? The variety of choices these days leaves one open to a multitude of possibilities.
And what if, shock horror, she already chose a blender for her registry, it has been purchased, and because of it's purchased-ness, the registry fails to show it.... and we turn up with a........ double blender for her.
And a year from now she'll be in my situation. Late in buying a bridal shower present, and contemplating giving my double-blender which is now HER double-blender (would that make it a triple blender?) to some unsuspecting triple blender receiver.
The cycle of blender-ness. Hey, it's not that bad. It could be a toaster.
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