Dancing with your Parents as a Child

I couldn't think of any other way to sum up the above sentiment, without getting into metaphors and wishy-washy statements.

Do you remember that time? You were about 7 years old, and at some kind of function with your parents, be it a wedding, birthday, or quite simply Christmas in the backyard with your family and friends.

Everyone would be dancing, having a great time. And when a slow song came on, linking all the partners together, the dancefloor turning into a sea of slow-moving duos, the kids would come to a stop, just standing and smiling up at everyone.

Your parents would invite you in. You would join their exclusive little circle, and you would dance in amongst them, with Mum and Dad's hands on your shoulders, as you, shy yet happy, looked up to them and tried to sway in tune, as they beamed radiance.

Don't you remember that feeling? The feeling of total security, happiness, comfort. Knowing that you were with the people that loved you most in this world. Everything was right, everything was as it should be, and all was perfectly right with the world. You somehoe mellowed in that short time, got a little less crazy, a little less erratic, and put your loony child behaviours on hold while you danced the most special dance of your life with the two people who would give the world to you.

Sometimes, when I get sad, when I feel lonely..... I think of that time..... and I wish I was 7 again.

Take Note

So, I find myself sitting here in front of my laptop, approximately 12:17am Friday morning.
Yes, approximately. That's a joke Red and I have.

I really should go to bed. I'm not at work tomorrow, but for some reason the thought of climbing into bed right now isn't sitting well with me. Maybe because it would be like I'm making peace with my scrambled thoughts and uneasy feelings, when I'm definitely not.

So instead I've been sitting here for the last 10 minutes, clicking "Next Blog," in my search to find great blogs out there in the Blogger-verse.

Amidst the bike riding and personal blogs (there were a few parent/kiddy ones too, in true Blogger style) there were a lot coming up about religion, in particular Christians and pastors, with many a Bible quoting.

I was thinking "enough already," especially since I know that once Blogger gets onto a theme, it won't stop.  It seems the shorter you stay on a blog and the quicker you click "Next Blog," the more of that kind of blog you will get.

Eh, Murphy's Law.

But then I stopped and thought. What if this is trying to tell me something? I happened to be on a Christian blog (I told you) so I stopped and looked at some words on the page:
"Stop looking at the struggle, look at the joy!"

Here I was feeling down and depressed for no apparent reason other than from my own doing, and totally ignoring the subtle signs around me. Maybe I was supposed to be focusing on good things in my life, rather than letting myself feel weird. I should just put it down to my latest 10-day work marathon and lack of sleep this week, rather than look to some fake external cause to my recent state of mind.

Ok, not so subtle sign. Something just totally slammed/fell/broke in this silent house. Not kidding. I have no idea what it is.

So maybe that's a wrap up. The blogs are telling me "don't be so sad dudette," and my house is telling me "go to bed or I'll freaking kill you."

Going now.

I like Anonymity

I've just been on Blogger for the past short while, clicking and clicking on the 'Next Blog' button, hoping against hope that I will come across a blog like my own. Sure, there are some awesome blogs I follow that are about both random things and life experiences, much like my own. But I want to find more. I want to see if there is anyone actually like-minded out there, like me. Anyone who is fascinated by people and their behaviours. Anyone who is curious about life, searching for the hidden meanings. Anyone striving for excellence, aiming to achieve their dreams. Someone like moi.

But alas, no. Every single time I hit 'Next Blog' I come across either an all-Spanish blog or a parenting, child-focused blog. Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Spaniards nor parents and their kids. However, I can't exactly read Spanish, so if I happened to stumble across the best Spanish blog since churros were invented, I would have absolutely no chance of knowing it. As for all the parent/kiddy blogs out there, again, nothing against you. Hey, when I have kids, I have no doubt I'll start up a whole new blog about my new world of parenting exploits and child-rearing revelations. And as I've mentioned in other posts, I do love kids. However I don't want to hear about them EVERY-SINGLE-DAY. I have my my sister-in-law for that.

No kidding, this isn't the first time I've come across so many blogs about Spaniards and parents. It seems that the world of Blogger is FILLED with them.
I guess that's what you expect: I don't have many followers (um, at last count, let me think...... 1? LOL. Thank you Margaret:))
Followers=Blogs you read.
I'm sure some would disagree with me. I think it's like a case of the Chicken vs the Egg scenario, and what came first. Let me explain.

In my blog-world, it goes like this: the Followers are the 'Chicken.' The subsequent blogs YOU follow, are the 'Egg.' It follows (LOL) that Followers that add themselves to your page, create more blogs for you to view and admire.

You see a new follower > "Oooooh goody!" > "Hmmm, let me check out this blog" > "Oooooh this blog is cool"> "I think I will follow that blog."

Yes that's the actual cycle people, that's how it goes. Verbatim ;P
And yes, I DO believe the chicken came first. It then evolved over time and created the egg. My theory anyway.

So, the fact that I have one follower, means I myself follow very few blogs. Thus far. I'm sure there is someone out there who can contest this theory of mine, but I have no business arguing with a blogger who has 10,000 followers but follows none only because their blogging experience is akin to having the most friends on facebook. 'Nuff said. So don't go there. I'm talking genuine bloggers with genuine sincerity in blogging.

Hey, no pity, please. I actually don't mind it. I like the anonymity. It means that I can continue to bitch and moan about people who shit me in my life, without ever worrying that someone out there will realise who I am. I didn't the create the oh-so-not-really-original-but-if-you-knew-me-you'd-know-where-it-came-from pseudonym of Miss S for nothing. If anyone out there who knows me stumbles across my blog, they wouldn't have any idea it was me blogging. Not even my little teeny photo reveals much :) (Making sense now, huh???)

I like blogging. I consider it like my own personal diary. And as I've long since stopped writing in my diary, (1. because when I write I go on forever and my hand hurts, and
2.typing is much quicker and less time consuming, and
3.I can do it at work!)
this is my only other avenue to explore the things in my head, my life, my world.

So I'm cool with it. Having less followers means I can continue being me, and not worrying about the potential repercussions of someone I know possibly coming across my blog. (That's not to say I don't want followers, I can deal with that, honestly I can!) Seriously though, the only person who even knows I blog is Hubbie, and he's never even read ANY of my posts (maybe better that for now) because he seriously, is not much of a reader. My family don't know. My sister. My besties. My work buddies. My cousins. EVERYONE and ANYONE who knows me is totally clueless to my random ramblings about me and them and everything in my life. He he. If you read my other posts, you'll KNOW that NO ONE in my personal life knows I blog :)

I guess I'm just saying I'm happy where I am right now, exploring everything about my life as I continue my quest to achieving my dreams of writing and wedding video creating.
Speaking of. I was saying to Hubbie last night, as I drove, high on one alcoholic drink, (don't drink-drive people)  from his sisters to my sisters place.
Me: "Writing is the best kind of fame....."
Hubbie : (listening, probably wondering what random shit would come out of my mouth now)
Me: "....because you are FAMOUS, but only the people that read your books know about you. It's the best of both worlds. You live a normal life most of the time, and only your fans make you feel like a celebrity."
Hubbie: (nodding now, smiling. He does talk, it just so happens he was listening exceptionally well last night in the car)
Me: "That's what I'm gonna be. An Author. Australia's answer to Stephenie Meyer. Do you know who that is?"
Hubbie: "Who?" (finally, a word!)
Me: "Uhhhh, Twilight? Yes, thank you very much. Of course, being Australia's answer to her means I will be famous on a lesser scale, but I can still deal with that."

Ahhh dreams. Yes, not only do I dream psycho weird dreams when my eyes are closed at night, but I also dream during the day with my eyes wide awake. I think I will end with a T.E. Lawrence quote, one that I read AGES ago, but didn't remember and rediscover 'til just recently (it's a quote sort of month). It is quite appropriate given my musings about dreams, and also consequently fuels my desire to achieving my dreams even MORE if that's even possible.

“All men dream, but unequally. Those that dream at night in the dusty recesses of their minds awake the next day to find that their dreams were just vanity. But those who dream during the day with their eyes wide open are dangerous men; they act out their dreams to make them reality.” -T.E. Lawrence

Thank you Mr. Lawrence. Thank you.