To my boss,
In recent days you have sent to our department a multitude of emails. The main point of all these emails is along these lines:
“there have been several mistakes discovered by other shit-faced departments in regards to our highly over-worked department, to which I now have to respond because I don’t have the guts to tell them where to go, or to actually acknowledge on some humble level that all of you actually work heaps and I undervalue your efforts greatly.”
(Of course she didn’t say that whole part, rather the first 6 words, the rest is wishful thinking)
“I would like to mention again not so kindly in CAPS, and break it down for you in an anyone-can-understand-this-even-kids-you-stupid-mofos numbered list, hoping that for once you will actually read this email and I will know if you haven’t because I’m sending a read receipt with it, SUCK.”
(Obviously, I’m over-exaggerating again, but I know what she REALLY wants to say…)
“1. Check fucking everything that you work on, down to the numbers, the print, in fact, spend about an hour checking you are working on the right thing before you even start to work.
2. Along with checking the sun has come out for the day and staring at the screen idiotically for hours on end, just in case, I’d like to re-iterate that you all have sooooo much work to do, so I’d like you to become magicians and find a way to check EVERYTHING on your computer screens, and hey even throw in an organisation routine for your desk for a little bit more pizazz and extra brownie points, but try and do it in the quickest time possible. So check, but skimp on the perfectionism. Got it?
3. Here are the things I want you to check, and I’ve broken it down for you in easy-to-read, itty-bitty points, ARSES:
- Check your screen is the correct width
- Check your screen is the correct height
- Check that your mouse is positioned perfectly 180 degrees to your screen, and at a 90 degree angle to your keyboard. (Your hand must always hover above the mouse, never rest.)
- Auto correct your screen every 5 minutes. If you fail to check in any 5 minute interval, increase the checking times five for your next check.
- Check all numbers on your screen go in sequential order. If not, re-start your computer and try again, repeating all steps above.
Continue this useless checking all day. Yet I want you to do all your work plus more, in about 5 minutes flat per project, because that’s really how quick you should be working. Good, you got that.
Finally, if at any stage you don’t know what to do, simply swivel your back-breaking chairs around and around for 5 times clockwise, then 5 times anti-clockwise, and then repeat all the steps above. If this makes you have to go toilet, don’t. the longer you hold it, the longer you will be rewarded.
This will ensure you are properly efficient and effective in all manners of work required.”
Why, thanks boss . Here is my reply.
A few interesting points I’d like to point out. We are a department predisposed to ‘attention to detail,’ (we’ll try ignore the fact you want us to do the likes of fine tuning an engine in 0.2 seconds). Considering we do a shitload amount of work of various job descriptions (many of them not ours), and churn out tens of hundreds of ‘projects,’ sometimes per day, it is interesting to note how we tend to get things right 99.9999999% of the time, I mean, in the greater scheme of things. Just saying. You know from a ‘positive’ perspective.
In any box of crayons there is always a couple broken ones. Instead of verbally bashing those of us who actually work (never mind me with my constant journaling – I am efficient thanks) why not pick on those who say, for example, um, constantly call in sick, constantly come to work late and then leave, stare at the screen aimlessly and just generally whinge and bitch and moan. Instead on focusing on those of us who actually do work, why not look at the ones who just surf the net, constantly email their overseas friends, the ones who are here, but never REALLY here? Why not send a department-wide email pointing them out, huh? That would be INTERESTING. Especially for YOUR boss to read…
Another good thing to mention. Next time you send out one of those kick-us-up-our-arses emails for apparently just doing our job, why don’t you spend that same day actually doing YOUR job, boss, so that when I walk past your desk I don’t find you:
a) Online shopping for clothes
b) Booking flights
c) Reading about gerbils
Just saying. The ‘do as I say, not as I do’ approach doesn’t really suit you. Like the colour green. Ugh. Don’t go there, really.
Sincerely,
Miss S (and the rest of us that actually work – which today is everyone seated around me, except for me right now.
Right, I’m getting back to it).
Showing posts with label no-show boy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label no-show boy. Show all posts
Friday, September 21, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Monday Morning Brilliance at its absolute Mother F&^@ing best
I’ve just come back in to work after 2 weeks of glorious and relaxant mind-altering leave, to THIS:
Annoying prick (who I refuse to grant with an esteemed Miss S. blogger nickname because I hate to even think about let alone speak, or write about him) is up to me within minutes before I’ve even logged in and started previewing my 600 + emails, whining about fixing his shit work which he is incapable of even attempting to learn after his 20 years here.
Fellow no-show boy has called in sick. Notified via email.
And here I find myself doing work and fixing other people’s business before I’ve had a chance to finish my coffee.
How things don’t change.
But it’s ok, as Tony Montana says. It’s ok.
“Back to reality, if only temporarily, because everyone deserves to live their permanent fantasies...”
Annoying prick (who I refuse to grant with an esteemed Miss S. blogger nickname because I hate to even think about let alone speak, or write about him) is up to me within minutes before I’ve even logged in and started previewing my 600 + emails, whining about fixing his shit work which he is incapable of even attempting to learn after his 20 years here.
Fellow no-show boy has called in sick. Notified via email.
And here I find myself doing work and fixing other people’s business before I’ve had a chance to finish my coffee.
How things don’t change.
But it’s ok, as Tony Montana says. It’s ok.
“Back to reality, if only temporarily, because everyone deserves to live their permanent fantasies...”
Monday, August 29, 2011
Movie Moments
The above is what I'm trying my best to focus on in my return back to work today after 2 weeks.
Like I've previously blogged, many many posts ago, it felt not only weird to be back at work today but also depressing. I know the first day back is always difficult, and it takes a while to get back into the everyday routine.
But I've had such a good time while on leave with Hubbie. Not just good, but great, brilliant, fantastic, fun, every wonderful and heart-warming, good times-explosive word you can imagine.
And it's not even like we went away very far, or for very long. Yes, we went away for a few nights for my birthday, with the rest of the time spent furniture/home furnishing shopping, whilst drinking coffees, going out to brunches and dinners, and going out heaps with our family and friends, with a good dose of drinking and partying to make things that extra bit awesome.
Having the time off with Hubbie was absolute bliss. We haven't had this much time off together since our honeymoon. And it was tooooooo good. Which is why I felt so depressed this morning.
Things did seem a bit weird, a bit off around the office this morning, however I can't quite put my finger on what the changes are, because everything looks the same. Except for the printer, that is different.
Again, in light of these strong feelings, my resolve to write and be my own boss is stronger than ever. Although I had a bit of writers block last week (is it writer's block when you can't find ideas, or you can't find the right words? Maybe both) I know I need to finish this story (I've finished chapter 9) and after finishing it, keep ON writing to develop more books, as not writing would be like killing these characters off in my head. And they definitely have a story that needs to be heard.
Also, coming back to work to learn that once again
hey you! yes you! you are going to be in charge again while your boss is away! YAY!
is not exactly love inducing. I wanted to come back to work and have it be all cruisy because I'm still in freaking holiday mode. I have my brother-in-law's birthday tonight, my bestie Blonde is visiting again from the U.S, and I want to ease into this thing. But no. Work has other plans doesn't it. And not only that, but people have to snap at me too, don't they, just for fucking asking questions and doing my job as opposed to slacking off and counting down the seconds like the complete idiotic incompetent wankers that they are (ahem, cough* no-show boy).
So, here I sit, breathing deeply, and thinking of my book. Of my success. How all this bullshit is going to make it so much more worth it one day.
I think back to brunch with my friends yesterday. Talking to Red about her engagement plans on the busy street sidewalk, while Blonde and our other friends wave at us through the shop window, pointing at bags and accessories. I think of Blonde walking up to us and enveloping us in a big group hug.
I think of Hubbie. My everything. I think of us walking around in random circles in over-commercialised shopping centres, drinking expensive coffee and getting excited about practically everything, all the while trying to focus on buying things for the home while getting constantly sidetracked from our over-hyped, caffeine-induced states. And then buying really expensive things at the drop of a hat just because we can :)
Those are the movie moments.
I think of lying across Hubbie and staring up at him, and this I struggle to think of in fear of tears trickling down my face, because I miss that so much. Yes I have that still, but I want it every day, not just end of day when we're all over the routine and work of life, tired and crap.
So that's why I've got to focus and push past the writer's block. Because I want it all. I can have it all, I know I can.
"Me, I want what's coming to me. The world Chico, and everything in it." - Tony Montana, Scarface.
Like I've previously blogged, many many posts ago, it felt not only weird to be back at work today but also depressing. I know the first day back is always difficult, and it takes a while to get back into the everyday routine.
But I've had such a good time while on leave with Hubbie. Not just good, but great, brilliant, fantastic, fun, every wonderful and heart-warming, good times-explosive word you can imagine.
And it's not even like we went away very far, or for very long. Yes, we went away for a few nights for my birthday, with the rest of the time spent furniture/home furnishing shopping, whilst drinking coffees, going out to brunches and dinners, and going out heaps with our family and friends, with a good dose of drinking and partying to make things that extra bit awesome.
Having the time off with Hubbie was absolute bliss. We haven't had this much time off together since our honeymoon. And it was tooooooo good. Which is why I felt so depressed this morning.
Things did seem a bit weird, a bit off around the office this morning, however I can't quite put my finger on what the changes are, because everything looks the same. Except for the printer, that is different.
Again, in light of these strong feelings, my resolve to write and be my own boss is stronger than ever. Although I had a bit of writers block last week (is it writer's block when you can't find ideas, or you can't find the right words? Maybe both) I know I need to finish this story (I've finished chapter 9) and after finishing it, keep ON writing to develop more books, as not writing would be like killing these characters off in my head. And they definitely have a story that needs to be heard.
Also, coming back to work to learn that once again
hey you! yes you! you are going to be in charge again while your boss is away! YAY!
is not exactly love inducing. I wanted to come back to work and have it be all cruisy because I'm still in freaking holiday mode. I have my brother-in-law's birthday tonight, my bestie Blonde is visiting again from the U.S, and I want to ease into this thing. But no. Work has other plans doesn't it. And not only that, but people have to snap at me too, don't they, just for fucking asking questions and doing my job as opposed to slacking off and counting down the seconds like the complete idiotic incompetent wankers that they are (ahem, cough* no-show boy).
So, here I sit, breathing deeply, and thinking of my book. Of my success. How all this bullshit is going to make it so much more worth it one day.
I think back to brunch with my friends yesterday. Talking to Red about her engagement plans on the busy street sidewalk, while Blonde and our other friends wave at us through the shop window, pointing at bags and accessories. I think of Blonde walking up to us and enveloping us in a big group hug.
I think of Hubbie. My everything. I think of us walking around in random circles in over-commercialised shopping centres, drinking expensive coffee and getting excited about practically everything, all the while trying to focus on buying things for the home while getting constantly sidetracked from our over-hyped, caffeine-induced states. And then buying really expensive things at the drop of a hat just because we can :)
Those are the movie moments.
I think of lying across Hubbie and staring up at him, and this I struggle to think of in fear of tears trickling down my face, because I miss that so much. Yes I have that still, but I want it every day, not just end of day when we're all over the routine and work of life, tired and crap.
So that's why I've got to focus and push past the writer's block. Because I want it all. I can have it all, I know I can.
"Me, I want what's coming to me. The world Chico, and everything in it." - Tony Montana, Scarface.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
My friend Karma
I have a very strong faith in Karma. It's something I learnt, in a very hard way when I was 16, whilst at high school and having an intense friendship break-up. People may think 'oh, all that high school melodrama is just a part of growing up.' But the way you interpret your life's dramas, whether big or small, kind of sets you up for the way you'll deal with other tough scenarios for the rest of your life.
And in any of these tough cases I've come across and had to endure, I learnt that whenever there was a difficult person who seemed to be getting away with doing something bad which I couldn't change or help, the expectance of Karma was very much welcomed.
That first time I learnt to depend on Karma at the age of 16, I had to endure many months of strained friendships and life uncertainty before seeing Karma's appearance start to make a change in not only my life for the better, but also appear as the undeniable avenger in the lives of those who had wronged me. When I hadn't known what to do, I'd simply stated "I release this, and believe that Karma will make those pay if they deserve it." I had to focus all of my attention on that thought, and hope and pray that I was right, that retribution would come to those who had asked for it. And slowly but surely, it did. It was a slow process, but in the spate of about 6 months the dynamics had shifted dramatically, and as I sit here today, knowledgable about the lives of those I'd separated from over a decade ago, I'm even more aware now of not only the pure fact of Karma's existence - because it is just that, a fact - but also that the power of positive vs. negative energies is a game in which both sides always win. Just think about that one for a moment.
Not only do I play by Karma's law, because I want to attract good things - but I do so for a genuine reason, I actually do want good, and wish good for others. And I try, try, try not to care too much about the wrong-doings of others, confident in the knowledge that Karma will 'fix them up' if they deserve it. Well, generally confident.
And that's the thought that has lead me to this place. This place of lately feeling like God's avenger, a righter of wrongs that needs to let people know they've done bad. Yes I realise how comical that may sound but it's true. I have this raw instinct in me to let people know when they've pissed me off - yes that quality a lot of people have I'm sure. However at times, depending on how intense I feel about the wrong-doing, and in particularly how often a certain offender may re-offend, I feel even more driven to the extreme border of earth-bound and born retaliator.
Haha, me in terminator gear, how funny. Seriously though, it does get to me. Thankfully, I've once again had my aha! moment in regards to Karma, because of some interesting news I heard yesterday.
No-show-boy, myself and another colleague were having a tea break late last night. He started saying how he'd had a Saturday day shift, the one that's just passed, and was supposed to start at 2pm. Because of some 'things' he had to attend to in the day (and also to the fact he fell asleep on his couch), on top of the fact that he had misinterpreted the 1400 work start time written on his hand to mean 4:00pm, rather than the 2pm reminder it was meant to be, he came into work a little later than usual. And guess who, unknown to him was already at work, waiting for him?
Our boss.
Dum, da dum dum.
She's really a very good boss. She is very accomodating to our out-of-work needs and requirements, and you could say, is very cool.
She's also the sort of person to really let you have it if you take advantage of her easygoing nature, which is what happened to No-show-boy. The other colleague and I sat there wide-mouthed as he told us how she completely went off at him for being late, especially since there had been some kind of request made to our department in regards to an error, and as no one was here to represent our team she was called.
Ouch. That's nasty.
It was only then that I realised what had been happening. Here I was, keeping notes on his absences from work, and counting the minutes he was away from his desk per day (maybe not counting, but I was being a complete tardy-freak), not so I could tell somebody, I'm not a dibby-dobber, more so for my own records to satisfy my curiosity of how far he would push it. Last week I sort of said to myself, quite subconsciously of any Karma that may take part "I'm letting this go, I can't do anything about it. And if he's as bad as I think he is (tardy-wise) then the bosses will EVENTUALLY find out."
And they seriously did, within a week. Not that they didn't know already. Really, you can't keep secrets like those, everyone's true character comes out eventually.
And it made me think. This Karma re-appearing in front of me, made me think that perhaps I should 'let certain things go' about other troublesome characters in my life. Let them go, and the hurt go, so that Karma can swoop in and fix it up for me..... After all, Karma does as its definition is.
It's worth a shot.
There's a quote I heard a while ago that has stuck with me ever since, something I believe you cannot get away from, therefore you must endeavour not to run away from it in the first place.
"No matter how deep you bury your seeds, they will always be unearthed."
And in any of these tough cases I've come across and had to endure, I learnt that whenever there was a difficult person who seemed to be getting away with doing something bad which I couldn't change or help, the expectance of Karma was very much welcomed.
That first time I learnt to depend on Karma at the age of 16, I had to endure many months of strained friendships and life uncertainty before seeing Karma's appearance start to make a change in not only my life for the better, but also appear as the undeniable avenger in the lives of those who had wronged me. When I hadn't known what to do, I'd simply stated "I release this, and believe that Karma will make those pay if they deserve it." I had to focus all of my attention on that thought, and hope and pray that I was right, that retribution would come to those who had asked for it. And slowly but surely, it did. It was a slow process, but in the spate of about 6 months the dynamics had shifted dramatically, and as I sit here today, knowledgable about the lives of those I'd separated from over a decade ago, I'm even more aware now of not only the pure fact of Karma's existence - because it is just that, a fact - but also that the power of positive vs. negative energies is a game in which both sides always win. Just think about that one for a moment.
Not only do I play by Karma's law, because I want to attract good things - but I do so for a genuine reason, I actually do want good, and wish good for others. And I try, try, try not to care too much about the wrong-doings of others, confident in the knowledge that Karma will 'fix them up' if they deserve it. Well, generally confident.
And that's the thought that has lead me to this place. This place of lately feeling like God's avenger, a righter of wrongs that needs to let people know they've done bad. Yes I realise how comical that may sound but it's true. I have this raw instinct in me to let people know when they've pissed me off - yes that quality a lot of people have I'm sure. However at times, depending on how intense I feel about the wrong-doing, and in particularly how often a certain offender may re-offend, I feel even more driven to the extreme border of earth-bound and born retaliator.
Haha, me in terminator gear, how funny. Seriously though, it does get to me. Thankfully, I've once again had my aha! moment in regards to Karma, because of some interesting news I heard yesterday.
No-show-boy, myself and another colleague were having a tea break late last night. He started saying how he'd had a Saturday day shift, the one that's just passed, and was supposed to start at 2pm. Because of some 'things' he had to attend to in the day (and also to the fact he fell asleep on his couch), on top of the fact that he had misinterpreted the 1400 work start time written on his hand to mean 4:00pm, rather than the 2pm reminder it was meant to be, he came into work a little later than usual. And guess who, unknown to him was already at work, waiting for him?
Our boss.
Dum, da dum dum.
She's really a very good boss. She is very accomodating to our out-of-work needs and requirements, and you could say, is very cool.
She's also the sort of person to really let you have it if you take advantage of her easygoing nature, which is what happened to No-show-boy. The other colleague and I sat there wide-mouthed as he told us how she completely went off at him for being late, especially since there had been some kind of request made to our department in regards to an error, and as no one was here to represent our team she was called.
Ouch. That's nasty.
It was only then that I realised what had been happening. Here I was, keeping notes on his absences from work, and counting the minutes he was away from his desk per day (maybe not counting, but I was being a complete tardy-freak), not so I could tell somebody, I'm not a dibby-dobber, more so for my own records to satisfy my curiosity of how far he would push it. Last week I sort of said to myself, quite subconsciously of any Karma that may take part "I'm letting this go, I can't do anything about it. And if he's as bad as I think he is (tardy-wise) then the bosses will EVENTUALLY find out."
And they seriously did, within a week. Not that they didn't know already. Really, you can't keep secrets like those, everyone's true character comes out eventually.
And it made me think. This Karma re-appearing in front of me, made me think that perhaps I should 'let certain things go' about other troublesome characters in my life. Let them go, and the hurt go, so that Karma can swoop in and fix it up for me..... After all, Karma does as its definition is.
It's worth a shot.
There's a quote I heard a while ago that has stuck with me ever since, something I believe you cannot get away from, therefore you must endeavour not to run away from it in the first place.
"No matter how deep you bury your seeds, they will always be unearthed."
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
High as a Kite
As much as I try to look beyond the surface of things, and learn about the world, and in general make myself as well-rounded, worldly and knowledgable as I possibly can, sometimes my naivety fails me. There will be a person that I unfairly judge. A situation that appears to be bad, that is in fact to my favour. Looking through my rose-coloured glasses, hopeful and brimming with love, I believe certain people around me will get along, failing to see their flaws, contradictory natures and incompatible views. It works both ways: positive turns to negative, and negative turns to positive.
There is one thing however that no one could ever fail to miss, no matter how naive at times you might be. And that is when your co-worker comes in to work, eyes as wide as golf balls, pupils as black as the night.
Like a demon out of Angel, it's disturbing and scary. And like my Mum says, you definitely 'know what time it is,' at that sight.
No-show boy, came into work yesterday, 40 minutes late, with his eyes as wide as a little boys who had seen a ghost. When I turned to him, I immediately thought to myself "he looks different." His eyes seemed to be stretched open, with his pupils burning black right back at me. I quickly said hello, made some small talk to him and then swivelled my chair back to my desk. He looked so frightening. He seemed more mellow, and spaced out, yet at the same time more cheery, as seen by his relaxed and happy display when he said hi to Densley.
I know he's harmless (fingers crossed) but I was freaked out by how weird he looked. His eyes were almost bottomless, as if I was looking into an endless black pool of nothingness. I avoided him 'til after lunch, when his eyes returned back to normal.
So weird. People, don't stuff yourself up. Stay sane, use your brain and don't let substances take control of your life. That's all I have to say.
There is one thing however that no one could ever fail to miss, no matter how naive at times you might be. And that is when your co-worker comes in to work, eyes as wide as golf balls, pupils as black as the night.
Like a demon out of Angel, it's disturbing and scary. And like my Mum says, you definitely 'know what time it is,' at that sight.
No-show boy, came into work yesterday, 40 minutes late, with his eyes as wide as a little boys who had seen a ghost. When I turned to him, I immediately thought to myself "he looks different." His eyes seemed to be stretched open, with his pupils burning black right back at me. I quickly said hello, made some small talk to him and then swivelled my chair back to my desk. He looked so frightening. He seemed more mellow, and spaced out, yet at the same time more cheery, as seen by his relaxed and happy display when he said hi to Densley.
I know he's harmless (fingers crossed) but I was freaked out by how weird he looked. His eyes were almost bottomless, as if I was looking into an endless black pool of nothingness. I avoided him 'til after lunch, when his eyes returned back to normal.
So weird. People, don't stuff yourself up. Stay sane, use your brain and don't let substances take control of your life. That's all I have to say.
Monday, March 21, 2011
It's harder than it seems....
So, I haven't been around much. I know that although A LOT of the time that I am busy, I still have the chance to blog while at work, but unfortunately, that too has been super-crammed-in with stuff going on.
You know when you haven't written in so long, that you don't even know what to write anymore? Yeah, that's just because
A) you can't remember where to begin, and
B) I feel most of my creative energies going towards my Story :)
Yes, that has happened my dears, I always knew that once I started writing my passion, my blog would ultimately suffer. I don't want to be one of the endless bloggers out there, who when you click on 'Next Blog,' you see their last update was in Dec '08. No thank you. If I decide to conclude my blogging, my last entry will be just that, my last, and definitely conclusive. But that day isn't here yet, and if it were up to me, I will do this as long as I can. Away from my diary writing days, this is the closest free therapy I can get :)
So as I have no clear beginning for this blog post, therefore there will be no end. Free blogging I call it - let's go!
* Because he is in my direct view as I speak, I'll begin with no-show boy: he's pissing me off again. Just the other week, on a Wednesday, (only 3 days after he came back from a whole MONTH of annual leave mind you!) I deliberately told him that I was having the upcoming Friday off, you know, as a GENUINE RDO. There was a little voice in me that said "careful Miss S," which I obviously ignored. Well lo and behold, I come in the next day on Thursday, and he has conveniently called in sick! He always does this! He takes it upon himself to take sick days when he feels he is 'due' only because others are having their days off! Hey, we deserve them..... and it's not fair because he still gets his RDOs! Grrrrrrr!
And he is always sick. That's the thing. He is not genuinely sick, the kind of sick I get maybe 2 to 3 times A WINTER. No he is 'sick' at least once every few weeks for the entire year..... and you know what his excuse always is? "Oh, I slept only 3 hours, and then I was absolutely f***ed getting up...."
Really? You were totally screwed with only 3 hours sleep? Nooooo, you don't say! Maybe quit smoking pot all night, and then you might actually get some shut eye! And believe me, I'm NOT making that part up.
Ha. Taking it upon himself to MAKE himself sick because he is due a day off. My arse you're due.
Today even, being a Monday, he has come in not only 30 minutes late, BUT has been sniffling and blowing his nose ALL DAY. It is really disgusting when you are eating and hearing someone breathe in their snot in a continuous motion. It's not nice. And I can't really feel sorry for him, knowing it's self-induced. Sorry mate, I know you want me to turn to you and say "ohhhhh, no-show boy, you should go home, you've been sick all day!"
No way. Not when you're always sick. You know those people, who are ALWAYS sick, always complaining of something? Well there are these things called vitamins dude. Take them. Don't forget to quit the pot either.
* Well, it's certainly harder than it seems, let me tell you. The writing that is. There is sooo much to think about: characters, what they will say, is what they're saying in character, am I progressing the story too much, am I not revealing enough, AND THEN I'm constantly re-evaluating where I am in the story and making sure I'm still on track and writing with my primary story goal in mind. Phew!
I love it, and when I get into it, it's great. I've laid down some rules, such as I must write on Thursdays, AND most Monday nights. I think it is way too hard to find time on the weekend, when those days end up being catch up days for all things house-related, as well as generally being a time that you wanna just have fun. It's just that I haven't even finished a chapter yet - as I write, I realise I need to research certain things, and it makes it actually impossible for me to continue unless I do that. I'm hoping once I get over the 1st chapter hurdles, I'll be on my way, and moving a lot quicker and smoother.
Oh yeah, and every time I read my first few paragraphs, I totally lose focus: proof that I've read it too many times. It scares me at first, because I wonder in panic "why am I zoning out?"
Ahhhh, writing is pure torture. Yet I still love this kind of torture.
* I've realised/decided that meditation is the key. Especially when dealing with annoying people. In an effort not to want to mention names, even fictional ones I've created to disguise real people, I'm simply going to say 'annoying people' here. I was fine for a LONG time. I wasn't aggravated, necessarily totally upset or hurt or maddened by any actions or words, or just generally normal behaviour performed by persons of interest. Until this last weekend.
It is so much easier to say "I'll ignore this person," than to actually ignore them. The doing of the act, is A LOT harder. Especially when you're forced into a 5 hour situation where you can't get away. My scenario resembles that of throwing an untrained swimmer into the deep end. They may splatter about for a few minutes, until they sink and drown. That's how I felt just recently.
I'm trying to get my head around the fact that people can't be changed. This is a very difficult realisation to grasp. Also, I don't understand people's hostile and rude behaviours, and why they don't realise that despite their high opinions of themselves, they actually are far from perfect, far from good at all.
But when you risk hurting your loved ones, saying things like this out loud becomes impossible. A situation that has no solution, a beginning that has no end. So you have to learn to deal, even when learning becomes increasingly excruciating to do so. I'm not sure where I stand, but in the midst of my google search for 'dealing with difficult family members' this morning, I discovered a few repeating points of advice:
- you can't change them, but you can change how you react to them
- don't react immediately to offensive words/behaviour: take a breath and respond when calm
- don't allow yourself to enter into topics that will cause intense disagreements
- don't focus on their bad qualities, as all you will see is their bad qualities
I always struggle with points like these, as I feel that with I myself having to accomodate to their behaviour, is like some kind of acceptance that their behaviour is ok. When it is far from that. I know that learning to deal with it is not saying that, but as I said yesterday, "why do I have to deal with them? Why can't they deal with me?"
I wish I could give them a piece of my mind..... I don't know, maybe the day will come when that happens. In the meantime I need to breathe. I breathed a lot yesterday, and I just feel different. Then again I prayed intensely, maybe I received some inspired clarity, divine guidance that I do not yet know I have.
It just makes me sad when I notice I'm acting out negatively, in the most minor every-day situations in my life, all because I haven't been able to express myself in the situation that most matters. But I feel a change within me, and I really hope that this time I'm able to follow through on it. I just need to learn how to waddle first, before I can dive into the deep end. Learning and building one's character through intense trials takes a lot of time....
Well that's all for today...... so concludes Miss S' random tidbits, til the next tidbit session....
Ta ta.
You know when you haven't written in so long, that you don't even know what to write anymore? Yeah, that's just because
A) you can't remember where to begin, and
B) I feel most of my creative energies going towards my Story :)
Yes, that has happened my dears, I always knew that once I started writing my passion, my blog would ultimately suffer. I don't want to be one of the endless bloggers out there, who when you click on 'Next Blog,' you see their last update was in Dec '08. No thank you. If I decide to conclude my blogging, my last entry will be just that, my last, and definitely conclusive. But that day isn't here yet, and if it were up to me, I will do this as long as I can. Away from my diary writing days, this is the closest free therapy I can get :)
So as I have no clear beginning for this blog post, therefore there will be no end. Free blogging I call it - let's go!
* Because he is in my direct view as I speak, I'll begin with no-show boy: he's pissing me off again. Just the other week, on a Wednesday, (only 3 days after he came back from a whole MONTH of annual leave mind you!) I deliberately told him that I was having the upcoming Friday off, you know, as a GENUINE RDO. There was a little voice in me that said "careful Miss S," which I obviously ignored. Well lo and behold, I come in the next day on Thursday, and he has conveniently called in sick! He always does this! He takes it upon himself to take sick days when he feels he is 'due' only because others are having their days off! Hey, we deserve them..... and it's not fair because he still gets his RDOs! Grrrrrrr!
And he is always sick. That's the thing. He is not genuinely sick, the kind of sick I get maybe 2 to 3 times A WINTER. No he is 'sick' at least once every few weeks for the entire year..... and you know what his excuse always is? "Oh, I slept only 3 hours, and then I was absolutely f***ed getting up...."
Really? You were totally screwed with only 3 hours sleep? Nooooo, you don't say! Maybe quit smoking pot all night, and then you might actually get some shut eye! And believe me, I'm NOT making that part up.
Ha. Taking it upon himself to MAKE himself sick because he is due a day off. My arse you're due.
Today even, being a Monday, he has come in not only 30 minutes late, BUT has been sniffling and blowing his nose ALL DAY. It is really disgusting when you are eating and hearing someone breathe in their snot in a continuous motion. It's not nice. And I can't really feel sorry for him, knowing it's self-induced. Sorry mate, I know you want me to turn to you and say "ohhhhh, no-show boy, you should go home, you've been sick all day!"
No way. Not when you're always sick. You know those people, who are ALWAYS sick, always complaining of something? Well there are these things called vitamins dude. Take them. Don't forget to quit the pot either.
* Well, it's certainly harder than it seems, let me tell you. The writing that is. There is sooo much to think about: characters, what they will say, is what they're saying in character, am I progressing the story too much, am I not revealing enough, AND THEN I'm constantly re-evaluating where I am in the story and making sure I'm still on track and writing with my primary story goal in mind. Phew!
I love it, and when I get into it, it's great. I've laid down some rules, such as I must write on Thursdays, AND most Monday nights. I think it is way too hard to find time on the weekend, when those days end up being catch up days for all things house-related, as well as generally being a time that you wanna just have fun. It's just that I haven't even finished a chapter yet - as I write, I realise I need to research certain things, and it makes it actually impossible for me to continue unless I do that. I'm hoping once I get over the 1st chapter hurdles, I'll be on my way, and moving a lot quicker and smoother.
Oh yeah, and every time I read my first few paragraphs, I totally lose focus: proof that I've read it too many times. It scares me at first, because I wonder in panic "why am I zoning out?"
Ahhhh, writing is pure torture. Yet I still love this kind of torture.
* I've realised/decided that meditation is the key. Especially when dealing with annoying people. In an effort not to want to mention names, even fictional ones I've created to disguise real people, I'm simply going to say 'annoying people' here. I was fine for a LONG time. I wasn't aggravated, necessarily totally upset or hurt or maddened by any actions or words, or just generally normal behaviour performed by persons of interest. Until this last weekend.
It is so much easier to say "I'll ignore this person," than to actually ignore them. The doing of the act, is A LOT harder. Especially when you're forced into a 5 hour situation where you can't get away. My scenario resembles that of throwing an untrained swimmer into the deep end. They may splatter about for a few minutes, until they sink and drown. That's how I felt just recently.
I'm trying to get my head around the fact that people can't be changed. This is a very difficult realisation to grasp. Also, I don't understand people's hostile and rude behaviours, and why they don't realise that despite their high opinions of themselves, they actually are far from perfect, far from good at all.
But when you risk hurting your loved ones, saying things like this out loud becomes impossible. A situation that has no solution, a beginning that has no end. So you have to learn to deal, even when learning becomes increasingly excruciating to do so. I'm not sure where I stand, but in the midst of my google search for 'dealing with difficult family members' this morning, I discovered a few repeating points of advice:
- you can't change them, but you can change how you react to them
- don't react immediately to offensive words/behaviour: take a breath and respond when calm
- don't allow yourself to enter into topics that will cause intense disagreements
- don't focus on their bad qualities, as all you will see is their bad qualities
I always struggle with points like these, as I feel that with I myself having to accomodate to their behaviour, is like some kind of acceptance that their behaviour is ok. When it is far from that. I know that learning to deal with it is not saying that, but as I said yesterday, "why do I have to deal with them? Why can't they deal with me?"
I wish I could give them a piece of my mind..... I don't know, maybe the day will come when that happens. In the meantime I need to breathe. I breathed a lot yesterday, and I just feel different. Then again I prayed intensely, maybe I received some inspired clarity, divine guidance that I do not yet know I have.
It just makes me sad when I notice I'm acting out negatively, in the most minor every-day situations in my life, all because I haven't been able to express myself in the situation that most matters. But I feel a change within me, and I really hope that this time I'm able to follow through on it. I just need to learn how to waddle first, before I can dive into the deep end. Learning and building one's character through intense trials takes a lot of time....
Well that's all for today...... so concludes Miss S' random tidbits, til the next tidbit session....
Ta ta.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I've been out, living my life....
....which is why I haven't been around to blog for AGES. I had 2 weeks leave, which I came back to work from yesterday. It was so nice. I tell ya, there are things you just don't do when you're working. No matter how much you will yourself to do things, and tell yourself you'll do it when you get home, once you're home, full of food and sitting on the couch, those little odd jobs just DON'T HAPPEN. And they pile up too.
So during my little hols, I got them ALL done. Well, bar one (the one involving organising all our home DVDs and labelling them and then putting them in this really cute box I have!) but still, almost ALL done. Including teaching myself how to sew buttons back onto my tops/dresses. I know! Legend! :-D
The best thing about it was, as well as get all those little-itty-bitty things done, the holiday felt REALLY long, in a good way.
So much so that when I came in to work yesterday, I felt like I'd been away forever. Things felt different. They looked different, maybe due to the fact that the maintenance people here did manage to move stuff around in my absence, freaking me out upon my return into our department. But more importantly, I felt different. I just had this weird sense, that I was over it. I was ready. This voice inside me said "you have to get out of here." Which is ironic considering I had wanted to be in this place for so long before. But clearly, there was now something else pulling me away.
The writing.
Look, it may have been a bad case of Monday-itis. The whole returning to work after leave thing, can leave you feeling rather down. Maybe it was the fact that the furniture had moved, my notes were missing, or the fact that no-show boy when walking in said "Welcome back to hell."
Nice huh?
Maybe it was his partially subdued depressive angst at seeing my still-wavering happiness at having been away.
Maybe it was Kitty, once again, proving her will against mine in a work-related discussion, and in her narrow-mindedness, refusing to see any view but her own, therefore insulting my intelligence with her ignorance.
Maybe it was Densley's absence, as after all, he is the rock in our little family.
But today, I'm still having that lingering feeling. It's as if I've learnt something during my time away, and now that I have this knowledge, there's something in me saying it's time to move on. I don't know what it is. It's really hard to put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that my grand-daddy boss told me so long ago, that he wanted me to keep learning, in order to become somewhat of an 'understudy' for my boss. Perhaps that knowledge is making me tense, keeping me under pressure, and willing me to move on. I'm instinct-ed to flight, rather than fight.
So many answers to my question, yet none seem to fit.
However, me seems to think something else.
Since I have officially decided on my future path, that of a writer, I have been following through on my resolution by reading books about writing fiction, figuring out my story ideas and characters, as well as writing out a reading list, which I will no doubt add to throughout the year (which I will put up on my blog shortly), in order to improve on my writing skills/techniques/foundations, and all these little changes, however unsignificant at this early stage, yet still influential in the road I will ultimately take, are already in effect and changing my future. That's why I feel out of place right now. Because I'm in the midst of travelling to another place already.
I know. Trippy stuff.
You know what? I'm not hanging shit on no-show boy anymore, with his too-often breaks at work, arriving late yet leaving the same time as everyone else. Not only has he improved considerably in his attendance and work ethic, but this morning he agreed with me that Kitty's arguments against mine yesterday were immature and stupid.
So if he does anything now to contradict his gradual move towards good work employee record, I will make sure I have my rose-coloured glasses on first, so as not to pass judgement. :)
Anywho, this started as about me, right?
I told Hubbie last night "If anything, that voice that told me today that I need to get out of there, that's gonna motivate me even MORE to be a successful writer."
"Then do it." With a glint of 'show me' in his eyes.
You bet I will.
So during my little hols, I got them ALL done. Well, bar one (the one involving organising all our home DVDs and labelling them and then putting them in this really cute box I have!) but still, almost ALL done. Including teaching myself how to sew buttons back onto my tops/dresses. I know! Legend! :-D
The best thing about it was, as well as get all those little-itty-bitty things done, the holiday felt REALLY long, in a good way.
So much so that when I came in to work yesterday, I felt like I'd been away forever. Things felt different. They looked different, maybe due to the fact that the maintenance people here did manage to move stuff around in my absence, freaking me out upon my return into our department. But more importantly, I felt different. I just had this weird sense, that I was over it. I was ready. This voice inside me said "you have to get out of here." Which is ironic considering I had wanted to be in this place for so long before. But clearly, there was now something else pulling me away.
The writing.
Look, it may have been a bad case of Monday-itis. The whole returning to work after leave thing, can leave you feeling rather down. Maybe it was the fact that the furniture had moved, my notes were missing, or the fact that no-show boy when walking in said "Welcome back to hell."
Nice huh?
Maybe it was his partially subdued depressive angst at seeing my still-wavering happiness at having been away.
Maybe it was Kitty, once again, proving her will against mine in a work-related discussion, and in her narrow-mindedness, refusing to see any view but her own, therefore insulting my intelligence with her ignorance.
Maybe it was Densley's absence, as after all, he is the rock in our little family.
But today, I'm still having that lingering feeling. It's as if I've learnt something during my time away, and now that I have this knowledge, there's something in me saying it's time to move on. I don't know what it is. It's really hard to put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that my grand-daddy boss told me so long ago, that he wanted me to keep learning, in order to become somewhat of an 'understudy' for my boss. Perhaps that knowledge is making me tense, keeping me under pressure, and willing me to move on. I'm instinct-ed to flight, rather than fight.
So many answers to my question, yet none seem to fit.
However, me seems to think something else.
Since I have officially decided on my future path, that of a writer, I have been following through on my resolution by reading books about writing fiction, figuring out my story ideas and characters, as well as writing out a reading list, which I will no doubt add to throughout the year (which I will put up on my blog shortly), in order to improve on my writing skills/techniques/foundations, and all these little changes, however unsignificant at this early stage, yet still influential in the road I will ultimately take, are already in effect and changing my future. That's why I feel out of place right now. Because I'm in the midst of travelling to another place already.
I know. Trippy stuff.
You know what? I'm not hanging shit on no-show boy anymore, with his too-often breaks at work, arriving late yet leaving the same time as everyone else. Not only has he improved considerably in his attendance and work ethic, but this morning he agreed with me that Kitty's arguments against mine yesterday were immature and stupid.
So if he does anything now to contradict his gradual move towards good work employee record, I will make sure I have my rose-coloured glasses on first, so as not to pass judgement. :)
Anywho, this started as about me, right?
I told Hubbie last night "If anything, that voice that told me today that I need to get out of there, that's gonna motivate me even MORE to be a successful writer."
"Then do it." With a glint of 'show me' in his eyes.
You bet I will.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
No-Show boy
I've been getting quite peeved lately at work. You see, as I've mentioned in a prior post, our department has had to upgrade in staff size considerably, due to an increased amount of work. This is all fine and good, and crazily enough, I actually like and get along with all the people in our department, even the newbies. That is quite a feat considering there are almost 10 of us now, and often in large groups you may get a few clashing personalities. But nope, all good :)
Anyway, this isn't what I'm upset about. One of the guys who has joined is, has basically transferred from his old department into our department. He didn't like his old job, and therefore was able to find a place with us.
This is fine too. I like him and can get along with him really well.
Which is the hard thing, because he has this really annoying habit.
He is freaking never at his desk.
Ok, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little. Let's find a name for him first. Let's call him no-show boy.
No show-boy, when doing the same shift as me (which is about 90% of the time as we are on the same rotation) will ALWAYS come in late when it is an early shift. The early shift starts at 6:30am, and oddly for me, despite my tendency to wanna hug my pillow all morning when I first open my eyes, I actually make it in on time for all my early shifts, even getting in earlier in some cases. I think the motivation is knowing I will have most of the afternoon off, which is super-duper.
What I'm trying to say is, that even though I love to sleep in, I make it in on time for my early shifts. He CLEARLY loves sleeping in, and I cannot count the amount of times he has arrived late.
No joke, here are some examples:
6:40am (I know, don't be a nazi Miss S, but just you wait)
7:00am
7:15am
7:30am
7:40am
8:00am
9:00am.
I am not kidding. Now multiply all these times above by a frequency of 10, and that will give you a clear indicator of how many times I've seen him walk by me and towards his desk, so late into his shift.
And you know what's more annoying? He doesn't make up the time afterwards. He will leave, at the same time as our other early birds, having worked from an hour to 2 hours less than us.
So unfair.
I hate it. And I get really shitty. My thoughts towards him swing from hate, to 'don't be too hasty.' Like I said, I get along with him, despite his shit getting-to-work ethic.
At the beginning, no-show boy first joined us, he would take advantage of the whole training phase, and leave work a little earlier here, a little earlier there. On one Saturday, although I had left before him because I had started earlier, I know for a fact he left at least a full 2 hours before his shift ended. 2 WHOLE HOURS! OMG!!!!
What adds to it is the other fact, that he takes frequent and long breaks throughout the day. Just yesterday, as a test, I noted the times that he'd been away from his desk:
7:10am he took a break, after coming in at 6:40. I can't remember how long he took.
8:50am he took a break when I took my first break. That was about 15-20 mins.
10:30 to 11:00am - gone. Whole half hour.
12:00pm - went for a walk. Don't know how long as I took my second break then.
12:44 to 12:57 - another quick one.
Then he bullshitted around for a bit, but I didn't note it down because he kept leaving and returning to his desk.
Now I know that I sound like a real time nazi here, but I don't claim to be perfect either. I know you can't always be on time, and I myself can't be too self-righteous, as most of my blog posts come from my working desk. However I never leave work, feeling like I haven't done my 'time,' that is, I make sure if I come in late, I make it up later. If I bullshit a bit here or there, I work extra hard in other times. And I don't abuse the work system (despite the fact that the work system abuses us quite a bit.)
Again, this morning, he arrived at 6:45am. He's started his computer. Bullshitted a bit. Then walked away before 7am and returned just now at 7:13am. I wouldn't be surprised if he left now for a smoko break, killing another 20-30 minutes.
Sigh. As I said, I get severely frustrated, as I both like him as a person, but HATE his habit. HATE it.
Do you know what his excuse was when he walked in at 9am one day? He totally admitted it, I give him kudos for that. But he was all like "I swore last night I set my time to 6am, and instead I must have set it later. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm losing it." (Insert pity face and violin strings.) He does that quite a bit. Gathering pity and all. Which upsets me because there are people out there who want jobs and who will always arrive on time, and they're competing with people currently in jobs who are incompetent.
Now I feel bad because I'm bagging him. Such a conundrum.
Now it's time for me to get back to work.
Anyway, this isn't what I'm upset about. One of the guys who has joined is, has basically transferred from his old department into our department. He didn't like his old job, and therefore was able to find a place with us.
This is fine too. I like him and can get along with him really well.
Which is the hard thing, because he has this really annoying habit.
He is freaking never at his desk.
Ok, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little. Let's find a name for him first. Let's call him no-show boy.
No show-boy, when doing the same shift as me (which is about 90% of the time as we are on the same rotation) will ALWAYS come in late when it is an early shift. The early shift starts at 6:30am, and oddly for me, despite my tendency to wanna hug my pillow all morning when I first open my eyes, I actually make it in on time for all my early shifts, even getting in earlier in some cases. I think the motivation is knowing I will have most of the afternoon off, which is super-duper.
What I'm trying to say is, that even though I love to sleep in, I make it in on time for my early shifts. He CLEARLY loves sleeping in, and I cannot count the amount of times he has arrived late.
No joke, here are some examples:
6:40am (I know, don't be a nazi Miss S, but just you wait)
7:00am
7:15am
7:30am
7:40am
8:00am
9:00am.
I am not kidding. Now multiply all these times above by a frequency of 10, and that will give you a clear indicator of how many times I've seen him walk by me and towards his desk, so late into his shift.
And you know what's more annoying? He doesn't make up the time afterwards. He will leave, at the same time as our other early birds, having worked from an hour to 2 hours less than us.
So unfair.
I hate it. And I get really shitty. My thoughts towards him swing from hate, to 'don't be too hasty.' Like I said, I get along with him, despite his shit getting-to-work ethic.
At the beginning, no-show boy first joined us, he would take advantage of the whole training phase, and leave work a little earlier here, a little earlier there. On one Saturday, although I had left before him because I had started earlier, I know for a fact he left at least a full 2 hours before his shift ended. 2 WHOLE HOURS! OMG!!!!
What adds to it is the other fact, that he takes frequent and long breaks throughout the day. Just yesterday, as a test, I noted the times that he'd been away from his desk:
7:10am he took a break, after coming in at 6:40. I can't remember how long he took.
8:50am he took a break when I took my first break. That was about 15-20 mins.
10:30 to 11:00am - gone. Whole half hour.
12:00pm - went for a walk. Don't know how long as I took my second break then.
12:44 to 12:57 - another quick one.
Then he bullshitted around for a bit, but I didn't note it down because he kept leaving and returning to his desk.
Now I know that I sound like a real time nazi here, but I don't claim to be perfect either. I know you can't always be on time, and I myself can't be too self-righteous, as most of my blog posts come from my working desk. However I never leave work, feeling like I haven't done my 'time,' that is, I make sure if I come in late, I make it up later. If I bullshit a bit here or there, I work extra hard in other times. And I don't abuse the work system (despite the fact that the work system abuses us quite a bit.)
Again, this morning, he arrived at 6:45am. He's started his computer. Bullshitted a bit. Then walked away before 7am and returned just now at 7:13am. I wouldn't be surprised if he left now for a smoko break, killing another 20-30 minutes.
Sigh. As I said, I get severely frustrated, as I both like him as a person, but HATE his habit. HATE it.
Do you know what his excuse was when he walked in at 9am one day? He totally admitted it, I give him kudos for that. But he was all like "I swore last night I set my time to 6am, and instead I must have set it later. I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm losing it." (Insert pity face and violin strings.) He does that quite a bit. Gathering pity and all. Which upsets me because there are people out there who want jobs and who will always arrive on time, and they're competing with people currently in jobs who are incompetent.
Now I feel bad because I'm bagging him. Such a conundrum.
Now it's time for me to get back to work.
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