News via Satellite

Initially, I was going to write a blog today about one of two things, of which were still undecided:


- the recent mosquitoes in our house replacing the spiders and moths

- all the annoying people in my life, including two new incidences that occurred overnight.

And I've been feeling sad, depressed, sorry for myself, frustrated, angry, hateful, confused, disenchanted, you name a negative emotion, I've felt it very recently.

I decided to try be pro-active just moments ago. I was going to do this last week and then I forgot, got sidetracked. So I decided to follow up on my prior plan. I did a google search just now on "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." It's a popular self-help book that I read years ago, by Richard Carlson. It was the first book of it's kind that I read, where I started to change, think more positive thoughts, and believe in the power of my thinking, way before The Secret.

As I started to view this website (at www.dontsweat.com) I noticed the main message was from his wife, Kristine. I was a bit puzzled, thinking, "isn't Richard the one with the positive messages and advice?" I simply thought she was writing an entry, and perhaps Richard's contributions were elsewhere in the site.

Then I read something she wrote, along the lines of 'if you had one hour to live, what would you do, Richard did this.'

Something started to become apparent in my mind. I glanced at the slideshow of pictures on the left of the screen, pictures of Richard and his family, suddenly viewing them as pictures from the past, not the present. I scrolled down and discovered the link "Richard Carlson Memorial Site."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. As I continued to read Kristine's message, searching for any clue as to what made this horrible event happen, I found my answer.

Richard died 3 years ago, on December 13 2006, from a pulmonary embolism, as the plane he was in travelling to New York descended. I dont know that condition, but I read it as something in his head snapping as the pressure of the planes descent became too much.

As I continued to read throughout the site, and try get more information, I grew so sad. I was saddened by this sudden, unexpected news. His book was the first one that started to change my thinking. It really made an impact on me. I started to think differently, speak differently, make different choices for the better, all to better my life and the lives of those around me.

However, I was also saddened by myself. Here I was, whining and whinging about people in my life, upset by these little things, little events, when as Richard says in his book "Will this matter 100 years from now?"

No, it won't. But his passing may well.

I feel so stupid, so petty. And I am absoutely devastated. I'm at work and praying that no one sees the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill over as I write this. Such a wonderful, inspirational man, so positive and well-intentioned, with such good in his heart, just.... gone.

His work made such an impact on me. And I was going back to it, going back to the beginning where it all began, searching for some guidance, some inspiration, when this. I just can't believe it.

It's common knowledge that illness or death can really put things in perspective for you. Nothing is truer for me today. I'm so upset by my recent actions, thought patterns, and general negative energy. Simultaneously I am making a concerted effort to change, and to look at everything in a new and positive light.

In Richard's legacy, I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore.