My ANGER Management - Part 2

Episode 3. One of the things I mentioned a few blogs ago, was the non-invite we received. This came (or should I say didn't come) from my bestie's boyfriend. Let's call her Red, and him, Wine.


I love them both dearly, and it hurts me to say I've been disappointed, by them out of all people. The simple fact is, they organised a NYE without us, with ALL of Wine's friends, and when I asked what they were doing, Red was upset that they'd forgotten to invite us. I believe it was selfishness, on Wine's behalf, that prevented him from remembering us, because a good month to two months earlier, we were sitting near him and his friends as they discussed this NYE evening they were planning, and back then I didn't know it was NYE they were talking about, only when I 'd heard of their plans days after Christmas did I put two and two together.

Now, as for my bestie, Red, I know she can be forgetful. But then, the other night, as we were talking amongst a larger group of friends, I heard her say "you can't get everyone together." That just shits me because I heard Wine count off about a dozen other names that were there. Gee, funny that. I thought it was heard to get everyone together. Yet, all of Wine's friends were there. Hmmmm. Maybe something to do with being invited.

Yes I am very sour. For many reasons. Hubbie and I are always asking around, seeing who is doing what for NYE, yet somehow, other people (minus a few family members) always forget us. And then when you're forgotten from your own best friend..... It makes you feel sad.

On top of the fact that your best friend and her boyfriend, are now suddenly all bum-chummy with HIS best friend and girlfriend, and it's like "oh, sorry, do we move over now and get thrown in the gutter because there's someone new in town?"



Episode 4. Sigh. At the end of the day, it's fear. Fear of losing someone close. It's that fear that's brought about an increased anger towards Wine from me, and the other night, as he was giving my Hubbie shit, I, in a subtle however letting-you-know way, told him to back off. I just got pissed off. Don't you go stirring him, you don't have that right. You've diminished the value of our friendship by not giving us respect, don't go acting all male bonding and I-get-you, you-get-me back sorta way.

He was soooo silent towards me for the rest of the night, that I kinda felt bad, and then I was like, "why do I bloody have to speak, and piss people off?!" But they pissed me off first! It is so irritating. I wanted him to take it as a joke, and not hear me say it with venom and intention. But alas, it failed. I'm sure Red will tell him I was only joking. And I pray that's the case, as we don't need more drama to fuel our already-fiery friendship.



Episode 5. This is a big one. Connected to my wine-related blog from a while back, as it's this person's partner that is also contributing to my dismay.

Let us call them Mouth and Moody.

This is the worst one in fact. Because when it's got to do with someone in your family, in particular, someone in your Hubbie's family, it makes things that much harder to settle.

My ongoing problem with Mouth and Moody, which has significantly increased in scale from the moment they met my family, is that with Mouth, she:

talks about herself constantly, including bullshit stories like how many pieces of toast she had, etc

is selfish

competitive

is constantly comparing everything in her life to everyone else's

is always right



Moody is:

as the name suggests, VERY moody

is only in a good mood when it suits him

treats his family and extended family VERY well, but when it comes to his in-laws, is quite rude.

when generally talking or giving advice, comes across as arrogant, dogmatic and condescending

an all-round smart arse



"But at the end of the day, their heart is in the right place."

I say this sooooooooooo apathetically. Because, and this is my HUGE dilemma, just because a person is 'good' or has a 'good heart' or is generally 'well-intentioned,' and hey, let's even say not an axe murderer, it does not give them the right to treat others bad, or to think they are above everyone else and that they should ge given the green card to do or say anything that they please.

So, when in company, what do I do? I hear them. I see them. And internally I flinch and I vomit. I grimace and look away. I don't make eye contact and I've pulled away slightly, in order to avoid a confrontation. And I'm scared and worried and I feel sick, because all I can think about lately, is future confrontations. Because although these people are shitting me up the wall, and it's like clutching at straws to find a positive quality about them, I can't say anything. Because when it's not your family, there is an invisible line of stitchwork imposed just over your lips, that restricts you from saying anything bad about a family that's not yours. Someone within that family can say all they like, but you can not say boo.



There have been 2 separate occasions as of late, well, actually, 3, including last night, where I know my pulled-back behaviour has become apparent to them. And there are things they are saying, in reference to the importance of family, that I find quite ironic. Don't have to tell us to keep family close, when they are the ones who are pushing us away with their anti-social and negative behaviour. With people who can only see others faults, and not their own, I honestly don't know what the answer is. Where do you look to find the solution to a problem that doesn't seem to have any answers that don't include yelling, accusations and tears?



So as you can see, the last few months have made me angry and hostile towards many people in my life. And I honestly hate that. Because I'm not that person. I'm happy, and positive about life, and like having fun. I don't like to concentrate on bad news, I don't like to speak bad about others, I believe in Karma and the Universe's energy, which is why I focus on the good things. But lately that's all gone down the drain as I've become increasingly agitated.



So what do I do? Do I let my problems go, give them up and hope the situations come back to me all fixed, or replaced? Do I forget about it and just see what happens, watch how the events play themselves out? My fear of letting go and trying to forget about these episodes and subsequent people involved, is that I may just explode in the near future from confining these feelings of sadness, frustration, fear, disappointment and anger within me. If I don't let it out, how will it go away? Lately I'm loving work, because being immersed with it makes me forget about all these freaking annoying people in my life lately!



I'm being tested big time. It's what I do in this situation that will show what I'm made of. I need to think things through. It's gonna be a big weekend, however I think I will prescribe myself a solar relaxation session tomorrow afternoon, (otherwise known as sun tanning) and let the Universe work the rest out for me.



That will have to be my Anger Management Course for now. This may or may not be continued.

December is what happened

Well, it has been one crazy month. Crazy busy as I like to say, and also crazy-blogless.




What can I say? December is my answer :) Christmas presents, thank you cards for the wedding, and it seems like a million other things, as we've been busy every weekend and even weeknights.



What is new? We have a bird. Well it's not a brand NEW bird but it's Hubbie's bird, having recently relocated to our place from his parents. He is quite the character. We reckon he's a Leo because he always wants to be the centre of attention and yells a lot.



We've done more to our house, which is great, it's more presentable and has more gadgety things (!) but at the same time, we're looking to move into a bigger house.



Two recent episodes from the last month which stand out to me now, are to do with the issue of invitations. Something about this topic I always come back to. Maybe because my very first blog was concerned with invitations I had verbally and electronically given out for my birthday.



But anyway, in the last month, I have been told I was going to be a bridesmaid by a bride-to-be, and then subsequently have had no mention of it by the bride-to-be at the next gathering (albeit not as drunk gathering.) I may speak about this in detail in a future blog, if I feel like it. It's complicated. I'm sure you have time.



And after that incident, in another blow, I found out my best friend and her boyfriend already had made New Years plans without us, passing on to spending New Years with her boyfriends best friend and girlfriend.



.................................................



Just giving you a moment to think about that one. It's not like we're exclusive to each other, that we only see each other and only go out with each other, nothing like that. Just don't say you forgot when I ask you about your New Years plans. I know it may not have been deliberate, but funny how they (minus my bestie) were talking about reservations at a hotel for their New Years plans a few weeks ago, while Hubbie and I sat next to them at a concert. Interesting to hear that we'd been 'forgotten' when we were within earshot.



Interesting.



I understand that I could be blowing it all out of proportion once again, as that's what I do best, because it could have been my bestie's boyfriends best mate's girlfriend

........................................................................................

catched up? - that had planned the night, therefore you can't really invite others when someone has invited you and planned it.



If that's it that's cool.



But I don't get the forgotten bit. Hubbie and I don't forget people. So how do people forget us? Like honestly, is that saying something about people in general? Or am I making an ant into an elephant, once again?



I think it's to do with my other issue..... of which I may or may not divulge in a future blog.



That's my bit for now.