New Year, New Decade

Oh wow. Just as I'm writing this, Hubbie and mine's first song, is on tv. It's our song well and truly, amongst others. This song came out in about July 2000, right before we started going out. 10 years ago. Well 11 now.
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.

WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.

So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.

Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."

Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)

Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.

But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.

So Hubbie and I are good:)

Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?

Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.

Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)

I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.

So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.

I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.

You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.

Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)

So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!

I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:

1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.

So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.


2. To decrease arm fat.

Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.


3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.

As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.


4. To read more.

So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.


2011 Resolutions

1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.

2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.

3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.

4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.

5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.

6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.


So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))

Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D

M.I.A: A Poem

In light of the fact that I have been totally absent from blogging for what seems like forever, rather than chronicle the exciting and fantastic adventures of my everyday life in an effort to update the blog world, I decided to compose a poem.




Ahem.



The biggest news I have to share

Would be about our latest dare

We bought a block of land you see

A house to build upon will be



My Swedish friend came back to visit

(Odd to visit her home don't you think?)

Nonetheless we all had fun

And back in December she will come



Another friend of mine did wed

For 8 years now a life they'd shared

The day was great! we talked, laughed and danced

And took stupid photos 'til we pissed our pants



My cousin came from overseas

And I took her out to a Hens Night Party

We had good times, took heaps of shots

(Both alcoholic and photo sorts!)



On the work front, it has been flat out

Since our boss here decided to depart

But having returned from her South African cruise

All our worries have gone, and our blues



As for my dear cousin Legs' days

She's still planning her matrimonial ways

And she has been asking me for advice

To which I think it is really nice :)



My Bestie's boy, Wine we call him

some days are good, some are a whim

It's up and down, but generally I believe,

all of us are different - so accept it, PLEASE!



My overseas bestie is planning her return

A visit only (I know, I know)

Her sister is going through a pregnancy

And a doting aunty my friend will be!



We've had an invasion of disgusting pests

Portugese Millipedes - ugh (are they migrants?)

They come into the house and slide upon our floors

And we just pick them up and hurl them outdoors



A revelation it seems 'bout Ricky Martin

He prefers men - have I been dim?

My love for his music has kept me biased

But now I must accept his truth, not deny it



Speaking of which, went to see George!

Michael that is, of Wham! days - and oh Lord

He is a true talent, genius and a star

A musical legend he is by FAR



Some sad news of late from overseas

A cousin of mine met his fate unfortunately

He died before his time, a shock for all

But when you rise too fast, eventually you must fall



Still Twilight-ing, Eclipse I have read

Starting Breaking Dawn soon - and yes I do care

These books are addictive, they make me mad!

More often than not, I go from happy to sad



A positive spin on things I try to do

It keeps me sane and feeling brand new

It's important to focus on life's good things

Like love, health and happiness, and all else that it brings.




I think that sums up the last few months perfectly. At the time I felt there was really no way I could write a blog that measured up to the immensity of information and emotion of my last blog, regarding Richard Carlson's death. But time helps you think, move on, and think of things in perspective.

So, I re-introduce myself to you, as Miss S :)

News via Satellite

Initially, I was going to write a blog today about one of two things, of which were still undecided:


- the recent mosquitoes in our house replacing the spiders and moths

- all the annoying people in my life, including two new incidences that occurred overnight.

And I've been feeling sad, depressed, sorry for myself, frustrated, angry, hateful, confused, disenchanted, you name a negative emotion, I've felt it very recently.

I decided to try be pro-active just moments ago. I was going to do this last week and then I forgot, got sidetracked. So I decided to follow up on my prior plan. I did a google search just now on "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." It's a popular self-help book that I read years ago, by Richard Carlson. It was the first book of it's kind that I read, where I started to change, think more positive thoughts, and believe in the power of my thinking, way before The Secret.

As I started to view this website (at www.dontsweat.com) I noticed the main message was from his wife, Kristine. I was a bit puzzled, thinking, "isn't Richard the one with the positive messages and advice?" I simply thought she was writing an entry, and perhaps Richard's contributions were elsewhere in the site.

Then I read something she wrote, along the lines of 'if you had one hour to live, what would you do, Richard did this.'

Something started to become apparent in my mind. I glanced at the slideshow of pictures on the left of the screen, pictures of Richard and his family, suddenly viewing them as pictures from the past, not the present. I scrolled down and discovered the link "Richard Carlson Memorial Site."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. As I continued to read Kristine's message, searching for any clue as to what made this horrible event happen, I found my answer.

Richard died 3 years ago, on December 13 2006, from a pulmonary embolism, as the plane he was in travelling to New York descended. I dont know that condition, but I read it as something in his head snapping as the pressure of the planes descent became too much.

As I continued to read throughout the site, and try get more information, I grew so sad. I was saddened by this sudden, unexpected news. His book was the first one that started to change my thinking. It really made an impact on me. I started to think differently, speak differently, make different choices for the better, all to better my life and the lives of those around me.

However, I was also saddened by myself. Here I was, whining and whinging about people in my life, upset by these little things, little events, when as Richard says in his book "Will this matter 100 years from now?"

No, it won't. But his passing may well.

I feel so stupid, so petty. And I am absoutely devastated. I'm at work and praying that no one sees the tears welling up in my eyes and threatening to spill over as I write this. Such a wonderful, inspirational man, so positive and well-intentioned, with such good in his heart, just.... gone.

His work made such an impact on me. And I was going back to it, going back to the beginning where it all began, searching for some guidance, some inspiration, when this. I just can't believe it.

It's common knowledge that illness or death can really put things in perspective for you. Nothing is truer for me today. I'm so upset by my recent actions, thought patterns, and general negative energy. Simultaneously I am making a concerted effort to change, and to look at everything in a new and positive light.

In Richard's legacy, I'm not sweating the small stuff anymore.