Wow. So I haven’t written in a LONG time.
I lie. I write heaps, I just haven’t written in here.
I think it’s time for a bit of a catch-up post, don’t ya think?
So life apparently, is getting better. Who am I kidding, it most definitely is. Some things I’m unable to divulge just yet (quite amusing since this is an anonymous blog) but I can say that
a) I won a competition (which helped with the red light camera fine I received)
b) family members who were sick, well are sick, appear to be getting better, and we are very hopeful (fingers crossed) that they will continue getting satisfactory and positive results
c) and in the month leading up to Red’s wedding, it was a massive reunion with all our friends, including Blonde (yes, it appears she gave up on her stubborn stance, in my opinion anyway – listen to her reason for attending “it just worked out with work” LOL)
Following the wedding Hubbie and I went away, and now we’re looking forward to the year of 2013. I’ve never been keen on the number ‘13’ yet it seems life has other things in store for me, wanting to turn my perception of the number into a REALLY good one. Watch this space.
There’s nothing quite like cracking it at someone who you have confused or unresolved feelings about. This happened at Red’s wedding with Blonde. Hubbie was paying her a lot of attention, and hugging her and talking to her, and I was getting peeved because I felt like when I was talking to her, she was being quite flippant about it. This continued for a couple of hours, until I cracked and said in front of her and Hubbie “Blonde has her own friends tonight,” referring to the table she was at.
Now let me get things perfectly clear: I have no issues, no jealousies whatsoever when it comes to Hubbie showing affection to the people I love most: this most particularly includes my sister, Red and Blonde. In fact, it fills my heart with such joy when I see these people getting along with Hubbie so well, that I feel as if my heart might burst. I love it sooooo much, it makes me so happy. But it was the fact that he was giving her attention, and I felt she wasn’t me, that I said the above remark with very much intended and directed malice. No subtlety there.
And, I’m one of those ‘nice’ people. I hate the word, but it’s the only way to explain. You know those people who never crack it? Well I do crack it, however quietly, and not directly at people. So if in the rare circumstance I have a go at someone, a close friend who knows me so well, I suspect a part of them cries internally.
I don’t mean to brag, but it’s just how it is, and I saw it in Blonde’s face and how it changed so much when I said it. Hubbie went “ooooh,” and I danced away, as you do at a wedding, but with my insides raging.
I later felt the true meaning of guilt and foot-in-the-mouth syndrome when I spoke to a close friend of Blonde’s. In talking about how we need to catch up, she mentioned how she had said to Blonde “I hope Miss S isn’t upset how I haven’t made an effort, I’ve been so busy,” to which she told me Blonde replied with “no, Miss S is so sweet she can’t get upset.”
Insert massively uncomfortable rock in centre of stomach.
I felt so bad. Blonde perhaps had her own issues that day; she was back in the country, having to deal with family issues even as she was at the wedding, and maybe was feeling a little envious that I was such a huge part of the bridal party, and she wasn’t. Maybe she had her own things going on.
I went to visit her at one stage at her table, and kind of, not really casually, but in a way so as not to get too deep into it, I said “I’m sorry about before, what I said, just forget it.”
She went “why? What happened? Why were you upset?”
I tried to brush it off, saying something like “don’t worry.” I was too ashamed to go through the real reasons; I felt too selfish to say ‘I feel like you don’t care about me’ when she had so much going on. Her behaviour following that was immaculate. Not to say you should crack it at your friends just to get them to pay attention to you, but she proved to me how much she does care, with remarks like “and this was here at your wedding, and I remember this, and that” etc and etc. She remembered things I didn’t. I felt touched, yet so bad for what I’d abruptly said.
She continues to send me messages from overseas, with things like “I bought you this. One for me, my sister and you.”
I see what you’re doing Blonde. I see.
My writing project has temporarily stalled. My first writing project. Intentionally I might add, which makes it acceptable I think. I’ve decided it’s inappropriate sending out a synopsis with chapters and all the bits and bobs to market the book, to prospective agents when it’s the yuletide/holiday season. So I’ve deliberately put it on hold until after Christmas, (which is now) but I’ve given myself the deadline of about 2-3 weeks into Jan by which to have it sent by, to the initial agent who showed interest if I reduced the word count.
Oh that. Yeah I didn’t get to reduce it by much. (very little, shh) But I figure she can’t tell that from the first 3 chapters.
Oh, and I still drink coffee. Like now. Hence my randomly impromptu post. I’m out.
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Friday, December 28, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Red vs. Blonde
I am currently on par with tones of burgundy in my hair, and in my late teen years there was always some streak of blonde, or multiple streaks of platinum running through my locks to make it fair.
This however, is not a post about hair colour. Rather it has to do with two of my closest buddies.
Red.
Blonde.
I love them both dearly. Red, I have known almost all my life. Even when we weren’t best friends before our high school days, we knew each other and even hung out for a short period of time in primary school. Friends for over 20 years, besties for about 15. That’s an impressive stat.
Blonde I’ve known for a bit less. Her I’ve known for 13 years, since high school, but it was in our post high school years that we grew even closer. I guess I’d say she’s been my ‘other’ bestie for about 7 years. Still a good feat.
I never say Blonde’s my bestie in front of Red. Nor do I say it about Red, in front of Blonde, though Blonde has heard it plenty out of Red’s mouth. The furthest I’ve gone, to speak about the other to the one I’m with, is to say “my closest friends.” But I’ve never said ‘best.’
Up until maybe a year ago, and especially in our early 20s, when Blonde was still living in the country, we were VERY VERY tight. The three of us. It was a constant ball. I always felt I was a good blend of the two. Red is more conservative in some respects, and I mean that only in the sense of not being so rude, not so out there with the sexual innuendos. No swearing, she’s good and kind and sweet to all people. She’ll bend over backwards for you, and is always smiling, always positive, cheerful and good-natured.
This is not to say she is boring or uninteresting in anyway, as most people think with ‘nice’ people (strike that – I hate the word ‘nice’). We’ve had the biggest laughs together Red and I. We share the same goofy, silly humour, generally the same taste in music, and have the same zest for life, constantly inspiring and motivating each other to reach higher, to achieve our wildest most unimaginable dreams. Because we know they’re not unimaginable. We know we can make them come true.
Blonde on the other hand, is quite… crazy. She has a very addictive personality: people just want to be around her. She is refreshing, in that she says whatever she’s thinking, does things without inhibition, and talks and talks until the cows come home. I have the utmost respect for her, because unlike ‘other’ motor-mouths who fail to realise that other people exist in their presence, when I speak, Blonde stops, and listens. She REALLY listens.
Blonde can sometimes be forgetful. She’ll forget your birthday; she’ll say she’s coming over, but then call 2 hours later and say, ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry (because she can see through her sensory x-ray long-distance vision that I’m turning purple) but I’m coming now!’ And because of her happy-go-lucky persona, you always forgive her.
I like being a combo of the two of them, and that probably shows why I get along so well with them both. I think I’m sweet and kind like Red, willing to do a lot for my closest friends and family; yet like Blonde, I can be a bit rude, be a bit rash when the moment permits. I have a healthy dose of her wild side, yet a substantial portion of Red’s considerate-ness at the same time. Thoughtful yet crazy, I think.
They’re kind of the two extremes, yet we ALWAYS got along. Got along. One of my favourite memories, proof of how I’m a bit of both personalities, was when we went shopping together a while back, and Red upon looking at a kind of see-through top to try on, asked the shop assistant “do you have a singlet so I can put it on under this?” The guy started to look around, upon which Blonde jokingly said “no Red, you try it on like that so we see your boobs,” quite loudly, so the shop assistant could hear (he was gay by the way). As Blonde laughed out loud, and I giggled compulsively, Red turned to Blonde, shot her a dark look and said angrily “Blonde! That’s rude, don’t be so loud!”
Although that’s a fave memory, maybe that’s not the best example of the three of us. Maybe I use that example because that’s when I noticed things started to change. By that stage, it wasn’t 3 musketeers. It was 2. Or the ‘other’ 2. Never 3. I was always part of the 2. And by that time, from that incident, I started to realise I was leaning on the side of Blonde a bit more.
It almost hurts me to write this. I love them both so much. I wish the crap that had happened never did: not that anything, any event as such happened; it was just a slow removal, a non-revealing of information, non-sharing of life experiences, a waning of contact that led to the slow parting of Red and Blonde.
I don’t think Red would think they’ve parted. In true Red style, and though I love her for her positivity, her focus on that thing only leaves her with a bit of a dream-like, rose-coloured glasses view of everything. She doesn’t realise Blonde is shitty with her. She doesn’t realise she could have involved her more in her wedding. She doesn’t realise she hasn’t put into the friendship – she just thinks because she’s been busy, that Blonde understands.
It’s not just that. There are a few more nitty-gritty issues, things that got in the way and screwed things up. Other friends, partners.
Blonde sees it though. Blonde is hurt. And Blonde tells me all about it. Told me all about it.
Sigh.
I’m a bit stuck you see. I love both these girls. They fulfil parts of me, in completely different ways, and I’m the luckiest, most freaking blessed girl to have people like this in my life. Add to that my sister, who really, truly is (not biased, no joke) the best, most fantastic sister in the world – and I know it’s true because all my friends love her, even those who have sisters, wish they had her as one instead – and in the words of another friend, I feel like I’m shitting rainbows in the girlfriend department. I’m set.
Back in the day when we used to spend time together, Red, Blonde and I, it was magnificent. I actually can’t find an adjective appropriate enough to describe the time spent together. Explosive? Thrilling? Meaningful? Deep? Out of this world? If I was lesbian, I would probably have an affair with both of them, let’s just say that’s how much I love them.
And that’s the problem. I’d have an affair with both of them.
It would be so good, every time was the best time. Lately though, with the absence of both of them, simultaneously in my life, and with all of life’s changes… I’m missing those times. Thinking of it now, God I’m missing those times. SO BAD.
With all the shit and crap, doom and gloom and with all of life’s frustrations that have been so prevalent not just lately, but on and off for the past year, I’m missing that… and one of them more in particular.
Blonde.
Maybe it’s because the grass is greener. Blonde is overseas, I haven’t seen her in about 5 months, and I haven’t spoken to her in about the same time. No joke. Instead I’ve been busy with Red, and helping her plan her wedding.
And with all that’s been going on lately, I had a massive pang of sadness hit me last week. I miss Blonde. I need her. I need to talk to her. I want to know where she is.
Some best friend huh?
Blonde works overseas, and was going on holiday in that region a while ago. Up until just before my birthday, I knew what country she was in. I’d tried to call her before she left for her holiday, but her phone wasn’t working. She said she’d Skype me, but in true Blonde fashion, she never did. When she didn’t call me for my birthday, I was a bit sad: she makes an effort to remember my birthday, and I know she wouldn’t have forgotten it, despite how scatter-brained she can be at times.
I realised she wasn’t posting on facebook, AT ALL. In fact she still hasn’t. I’ve contacted her sister twice to ask about Blonde: once her sister said she was overseas and her normal phone wasn’t working; and most recently when I asked again, she mentioned Blonde was travelling to a conference. Well that sounds like she’s back at work. So why hasn’t she called me?
I’ve been a bit stubborn. I wanted to talk to Blonde earlier this year to tell her the exciting news that I’d finished my book. But when she didn’t call for my birthday I felt a bit rejected, honestly I did. Up until recently I was like ‘stuff her, she should call me, she should know I’ve been chasing her.’ But then I was like ‘does she?’ If she hasn’t updated her facebook, she wouldn’t see the messages left there. Her sister may not even be telling her (she can be the jealous type) and I even had a dream about her, where someone told me she had been shot, and all I saw of her was her top with a hole in it.
That made me worried. I started to doubt my stubbornness, and wonder whether I should just woman up and call her. If it’s your friend, you forgive them I say. Not just that, but you don’t know what’s been happening. You don’t know their side of the story. For all I know something bad has happened and she hasn’t been able to call. But her sister would have told me, surely…
But then again the other day I saw she ‘liked’ something on facebook – even though she hasn’t put anything on her page. So she IS around. But where IS she? I wonder whether she is avoiding us all, maybe because she doesn’t want to go to Red’s wedding. Maybe this is all in protest, in not having been chosen to be a part of the bridal party, in not having been chosen to be included AT ALL.
It’s just so confusing, and so frustrating. And so sad. I don’t know what to do. I miss her, and it’s actually HER that I miss. Despite my love for both of them, I actually need to speak to Blonde. With all that’s been going on, I feel I need to let my feelings out, and that Blonde is the right person to talk to. To air my grievances with. Red would listen I know, but she’d be all, “look on the bright side, be positive,” and I actually don’t need that. I want someone to listen, and to say “that’s shit.”
That’s Blonde. I need her matter-of-fact, listen without trying to make you feel better point of view. I just need the realism of life.
Maybe I just need to try call her again. Now.
This however, is not a post about hair colour. Rather it has to do with two of my closest buddies.
Red.
Blonde.
I love them both dearly. Red, I have known almost all my life. Even when we weren’t best friends before our high school days, we knew each other and even hung out for a short period of time in primary school. Friends for over 20 years, besties for about 15. That’s an impressive stat.
Blonde I’ve known for a bit less. Her I’ve known for 13 years, since high school, but it was in our post high school years that we grew even closer. I guess I’d say she’s been my ‘other’ bestie for about 7 years. Still a good feat.
I never say Blonde’s my bestie in front of Red. Nor do I say it about Red, in front of Blonde, though Blonde has heard it plenty out of Red’s mouth. The furthest I’ve gone, to speak about the other to the one I’m with, is to say “my closest friends.” But I’ve never said ‘best.’
Up until maybe a year ago, and especially in our early 20s, when Blonde was still living in the country, we were VERY VERY tight. The three of us. It was a constant ball. I always felt I was a good blend of the two. Red is more conservative in some respects, and I mean that only in the sense of not being so rude, not so out there with the sexual innuendos. No swearing, she’s good and kind and sweet to all people. She’ll bend over backwards for you, and is always smiling, always positive, cheerful and good-natured.
This is not to say she is boring or uninteresting in anyway, as most people think with ‘nice’ people (strike that – I hate the word ‘nice’). We’ve had the biggest laughs together Red and I. We share the same goofy, silly humour, generally the same taste in music, and have the same zest for life, constantly inspiring and motivating each other to reach higher, to achieve our wildest most unimaginable dreams. Because we know they’re not unimaginable. We know we can make them come true.
Blonde on the other hand, is quite… crazy. She has a very addictive personality: people just want to be around her. She is refreshing, in that she says whatever she’s thinking, does things without inhibition, and talks and talks until the cows come home. I have the utmost respect for her, because unlike ‘other’ motor-mouths who fail to realise that other people exist in their presence, when I speak, Blonde stops, and listens. She REALLY listens.
Blonde can sometimes be forgetful. She’ll forget your birthday; she’ll say she’s coming over, but then call 2 hours later and say, ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry (because she can see through her sensory x-ray long-distance vision that I’m turning purple) but I’m coming now!’ And because of her happy-go-lucky persona, you always forgive her.
I like being a combo of the two of them, and that probably shows why I get along so well with them both. I think I’m sweet and kind like Red, willing to do a lot for my closest friends and family; yet like Blonde, I can be a bit rude, be a bit rash when the moment permits. I have a healthy dose of her wild side, yet a substantial portion of Red’s considerate-ness at the same time. Thoughtful yet crazy, I think.
They’re kind of the two extremes, yet we ALWAYS got along. Got along. One of my favourite memories, proof of how I’m a bit of both personalities, was when we went shopping together a while back, and Red upon looking at a kind of see-through top to try on, asked the shop assistant “do you have a singlet so I can put it on under this?” The guy started to look around, upon which Blonde jokingly said “no Red, you try it on like that so we see your boobs,” quite loudly, so the shop assistant could hear (he was gay by the way). As Blonde laughed out loud, and I giggled compulsively, Red turned to Blonde, shot her a dark look and said angrily “Blonde! That’s rude, don’t be so loud!”
Although that’s a fave memory, maybe that’s not the best example of the three of us. Maybe I use that example because that’s when I noticed things started to change. By that stage, it wasn’t 3 musketeers. It was 2. Or the ‘other’ 2. Never 3. I was always part of the 2. And by that time, from that incident, I started to realise I was leaning on the side of Blonde a bit more.
It almost hurts me to write this. I love them both so much. I wish the crap that had happened never did: not that anything, any event as such happened; it was just a slow removal, a non-revealing of information, non-sharing of life experiences, a waning of contact that led to the slow parting of Red and Blonde.
I don’t think Red would think they’ve parted. In true Red style, and though I love her for her positivity, her focus on that thing only leaves her with a bit of a dream-like, rose-coloured glasses view of everything. She doesn’t realise Blonde is shitty with her. She doesn’t realise she could have involved her more in her wedding. She doesn’t realise she hasn’t put into the friendship – she just thinks because she’s been busy, that Blonde understands.
It’s not just that. There are a few more nitty-gritty issues, things that got in the way and screwed things up. Other friends, partners.
Blonde sees it though. Blonde is hurt. And Blonde tells me all about it. Told me all about it.
Sigh.
I’m a bit stuck you see. I love both these girls. They fulfil parts of me, in completely different ways, and I’m the luckiest, most freaking blessed girl to have people like this in my life. Add to that my sister, who really, truly is (not biased, no joke) the best, most fantastic sister in the world – and I know it’s true because all my friends love her, even those who have sisters, wish they had her as one instead – and in the words of another friend, I feel like I’m shitting rainbows in the girlfriend department. I’m set.
Back in the day when we used to spend time together, Red, Blonde and I, it was magnificent. I actually can’t find an adjective appropriate enough to describe the time spent together. Explosive? Thrilling? Meaningful? Deep? Out of this world? If I was lesbian, I would probably have an affair with both of them, let’s just say that’s how much I love them.
And that’s the problem. I’d have an affair with both of them.
It would be so good, every time was the best time. Lately though, with the absence of both of them, simultaneously in my life, and with all of life’s changes… I’m missing those times. Thinking of it now, God I’m missing those times. SO BAD.
With all the shit and crap, doom and gloom and with all of life’s frustrations that have been so prevalent not just lately, but on and off for the past year, I’m missing that… and one of them more in particular.
Blonde.
Maybe it’s because the grass is greener. Blonde is overseas, I haven’t seen her in about 5 months, and I haven’t spoken to her in about the same time. No joke. Instead I’ve been busy with Red, and helping her plan her wedding.
And with all that’s been going on lately, I had a massive pang of sadness hit me last week. I miss Blonde. I need her. I need to talk to her. I want to know where she is.
Some best friend huh?
Blonde works overseas, and was going on holiday in that region a while ago. Up until just before my birthday, I knew what country she was in. I’d tried to call her before she left for her holiday, but her phone wasn’t working. She said she’d Skype me, but in true Blonde fashion, she never did. When she didn’t call me for my birthday, I was a bit sad: she makes an effort to remember my birthday, and I know she wouldn’t have forgotten it, despite how scatter-brained she can be at times.
I realised she wasn’t posting on facebook, AT ALL. In fact she still hasn’t. I’ve contacted her sister twice to ask about Blonde: once her sister said she was overseas and her normal phone wasn’t working; and most recently when I asked again, she mentioned Blonde was travelling to a conference. Well that sounds like she’s back at work. So why hasn’t she called me?
I’ve been a bit stubborn. I wanted to talk to Blonde earlier this year to tell her the exciting news that I’d finished my book. But when she didn’t call for my birthday I felt a bit rejected, honestly I did. Up until recently I was like ‘stuff her, she should call me, she should know I’ve been chasing her.’ But then I was like ‘does she?’ If she hasn’t updated her facebook, she wouldn’t see the messages left there. Her sister may not even be telling her (she can be the jealous type) and I even had a dream about her, where someone told me she had been shot, and all I saw of her was her top with a hole in it.
That made me worried. I started to doubt my stubbornness, and wonder whether I should just woman up and call her. If it’s your friend, you forgive them I say. Not just that, but you don’t know what’s been happening. You don’t know their side of the story. For all I know something bad has happened and she hasn’t been able to call. But her sister would have told me, surely…
But then again the other day I saw she ‘liked’ something on facebook – even though she hasn’t put anything on her page. So she IS around. But where IS she? I wonder whether she is avoiding us all, maybe because she doesn’t want to go to Red’s wedding. Maybe this is all in protest, in not having been chosen to be a part of the bridal party, in not having been chosen to be included AT ALL.
It’s just so confusing, and so frustrating. And so sad. I don’t know what to do. I miss her, and it’s actually HER that I miss. Despite my love for both of them, I actually need to speak to Blonde. With all that’s been going on, I feel I need to let my feelings out, and that Blonde is the right person to talk to. To air my grievances with. Red would listen I know, but she’d be all, “look on the bright side, be positive,” and I actually don’t need that. I want someone to listen, and to say “that’s shit.”
That’s Blonde. I need her matter-of-fact, listen without trying to make you feel better point of view. I just need the realism of life.
Maybe I just need to try call her again. Now.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Engagements and Weddings are coming out of my ar - .... ahem, behind - PART 2
Yes, there are more. As if there were not enough already, and with both of my friends' engagements behind us now, I can confirm more details of engagement/wedding joy impending on us.
THE DEFINITES
- The wedding that was confirmed for this month has now been postponed 'til Jan next year. That I don't mind, because October is always so busy for us, and January is super boring. So it evens things up a bit.
- This upcoming weekend we have an engagement - family friend on my side who announced her engagement not long ago.
- My friend is having her wedding in May, as previously confirmed.
- On the same weekend as above friend, Hubbie's 2nd cousin is also having his wedding. On the SAME weekend. Geez people. Hoping he picks the Sunday, as above friend is already confirmed for the Saturday.
- Red is having hers November next year.
- The week after Red's is Hubbie's best mate's wife's bro who is getting married to a relative of Hubbie's.
THE MAYBES
- 2 cousins of mine, both who haven't made dates as yet
- The above mentioned family friend will most likely have her wedding next year
- Just a couple days ago we heard that (deep breath) Hubbie's best mate's wife's brother's FIANCE (also known as Hubbie's relative) her brother has just announced his engagement. Phew! So that wedding may happen next year too. And an engagement may precede that also, all depending....
- Another cousin of Hubbie's who lives overseas, has met a man who lives in Australia, and they will most likely be moving here. They have filled in the relevant paperwork, and again, a wedding should definitely follow.
See how, when it rains it freaking pours cats and dogs????
AFTERWORD
I wrote this a couple of days ago before I posted it today. As Murphy's Law would have it, one of my above cousins who I said is most likely to get married next year, Legs, well she emailed me to say they have broken up. Without going into the specifics, she isn't going to wait for somebody who suddenly doesn't know what they want, as heartbreaking as it is. I feel so badly for her. It was kind of obvious things weren't right, and for a while now both families have been at it, but to come to this was something I never expected of them.
And he seemed the best match for her. Obviously not.
And then I hear my other cousin is already into the (completely outdated and domineering) habit of putting down his fiance in front of other family members. Like really? He's turning into his Dad who he despises so much. Let's see how long this one will take.
Sounds like my side of the family won't be contributing to any matrimonial bliss for a while yet......
THE DEFINITES
- The wedding that was confirmed for this month has now been postponed 'til Jan next year. That I don't mind, because October is always so busy for us, and January is super boring. So it evens things up a bit.
- This upcoming weekend we have an engagement - family friend on my side who announced her engagement not long ago.
- My friend is having her wedding in May, as previously confirmed.
- On the same weekend as above friend, Hubbie's 2nd cousin is also having his wedding. On the SAME weekend. Geez people. Hoping he picks the Sunday, as above friend is already confirmed for the Saturday.
- Red is having hers November next year.
- The week after Red's is Hubbie's best mate's wife's bro who is getting married to a relative of Hubbie's.
THE MAYBES
- 2 cousins of mine, both who haven't made dates as yet
- The above mentioned family friend will most likely have her wedding next year
- Just a couple days ago we heard that (deep breath) Hubbie's best mate's wife's brother's FIANCE (also known as Hubbie's relative) her brother has just announced his engagement. Phew! So that wedding may happen next year too. And an engagement may precede that also, all depending....
- Another cousin of Hubbie's who lives overseas, has met a man who lives in Australia, and they will most likely be moving here. They have filled in the relevant paperwork, and again, a wedding should definitely follow.
See how, when it rains it freaking pours cats and dogs????
AFTERWORD
I wrote this a couple of days ago before I posted it today. As Murphy's Law would have it, one of my above cousins who I said is most likely to get married next year, Legs, well she emailed me to say they have broken up. Without going into the specifics, she isn't going to wait for somebody who suddenly doesn't know what they want, as heartbreaking as it is. I feel so badly for her. It was kind of obvious things weren't right, and for a while now both families have been at it, but to come to this was something I never expected of them.
And he seemed the best match for her. Obviously not.
And then I hear my other cousin is already into the (completely outdated and domineering) habit of putting down his fiance in front of other family members. Like really? He's turning into his Dad who he despises so much. Let's see how long this one will take.
Sounds like my side of the family won't be contributing to any matrimonial bliss for a while yet......
Monday, June 27, 2011
Engagements and Weddings are coming out of my ar - .... ahem, behind
I couldn't sleep last night, lying in bed for a whole 2 hours after turning off the lights. It may have been the two coffees I had yesterday, or the fact that I slept in because we had a massive Saturday night.
Or it could have been because I was counting all the upcoming engagements and weddings we have coming up.
It's all very exciting, I must admit. In the past when we've had weddings/engagements galore, it's generally been more of Hubbie's extended family, and so although we've enjoy ourselves like we always do at parties and stuff, it is nothing compared to when you are supertight with the people there.
A month ago a close friend called to tell me she's engaged, and only a week ago Red called on her return from a holiday with Mr Wine to tell me he'd proposed. I was screaming into the phone and trying to hold back tears of happiness. SOooooooooooooooo happy :-D :-D :-D
Last night Hubbie and I were on the couch, when his best mate started messaging him. Turns out his wife's bro is getting married, and the girl is also extended family from Hubbie's side. We know the couple from both ends! That is also super-duper exciting, as we get along really well with Hubbie's best mate and wife, and we can't wait to party it up with them at the wedding.
So last night instead of counting sheep, I was counting all the weddings and engagements we have coming up. Here it is:
Red's engagement in September
My other friend's engagement in October
Definite wedding in late October - friend from school.
Those are the definites. The maybe's:
Hubbie's best mates wifes bro - maybe engagement this year
Another family member on Hubbie's side - maybe wedding later this year
Then I have 2 cousins, both who are getting married, but I don't know when = 2* possible weddings later this year.
THEN:
Next May is definitely my other friend's wedding.
Red is thinking early 2013 for her wedding.
And of course any maybe's that didn't follow through this year, including Hubbie's best mates wife's bro who will most likely get married in the following year.
Phew! So many maybe's it's doing my head in,. What I do know is there are going to be a lot of engagements and weddings in the next couple of years. Who am I kidding, when the engagements and weddings stop, the christenings and 1st birthdays begin........
:-D
Or it could have been because I was counting all the upcoming engagements and weddings we have coming up.
It's all very exciting, I must admit. In the past when we've had weddings/engagements galore, it's generally been more of Hubbie's extended family, and so although we've enjoy ourselves like we always do at parties and stuff, it is nothing compared to when you are supertight with the people there.
A month ago a close friend called to tell me she's engaged, and only a week ago Red called on her return from a holiday with Mr Wine to tell me he'd proposed. I was screaming into the phone and trying to hold back tears of happiness. SOooooooooooooooo happy :-D :-D :-D
Last night Hubbie and I were on the couch, when his best mate started messaging him. Turns out his wife's bro is getting married, and the girl is also extended family from Hubbie's side. We know the couple from both ends! That is also super-duper exciting, as we get along really well with Hubbie's best mate and wife, and we can't wait to party it up with them at the wedding.
So last night instead of counting sheep, I was counting all the weddings and engagements we have coming up. Here it is:
Red's engagement in September
My other friend's engagement in October
Definite wedding in late October - friend from school.
Those are the definites. The maybe's:
Hubbie's best mates wifes bro - maybe engagement this year
Another family member on Hubbie's side - maybe wedding later this year
Then I have 2 cousins, both who are getting married, but I don't know when = 2* possible weddings later this year.
THEN:
Next May is definitely my other friend's wedding.
Red is thinking early 2013 for her wedding.
And of course any maybe's that didn't follow through this year, including Hubbie's best mates wife's bro who will most likely get married in the following year.
Phew! So many maybe's it's doing my head in,. What I do know is there are going to be a lot of engagements and weddings in the next couple of years. Who am I kidding, when the engagements and weddings stop, the christenings and 1st birthdays begin........
:-D
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year, New Decade
Oh wow. Just as I'm writing this, Hubbie and mine's first song, is on tv. It's our song well and truly, amongst others. This song came out in about July 2000, right before we started going out. 10 years ago. Well 11 now.
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I just don't know
I don't know what to write about. I have so many thoughts running through my head, so many things that have plagued my mind with worry, confusion and wonder these last few days, that it seems like a snowball of 'stuff' is just rolling around in my head, with the passing of time just helping it to gather more moss.
Sometimes you feel you try so so hard, but to no avail. That's how I felt a couple of days ago, when confronted with (or should I say bombarded with) again by Mouth.
I went into that night thinking "I am sooo pumped, I'm so happy, I'm not letting anything upset me, we are gonna have a super night!"
And after walking into her house, within half an hour I was muttering under my breath sarcastic remarks such as "Ohh, finally a positive comment."
I don't know why it is. I don't know why she gets under my skin so. I can't handle the selfishness. The world that revolves around her and her only. The 'me me me' attitude. "My dress, my day, my house, my kids, my job..." it just goes on and on.
Surely there are many people that could handle this kind of behaviour. They could smile politely and just sort of brush it off. All the while knowing how ignorant and egotistical the behaviour was. However it would not annoy them and bother them the way it does me.
I think because I am so aware of my behaviour, my actions and my words, that when I see someone who so clearly has unfavourable and rude personality traits, I can't help but be upset by it. The more I become aware of everything in my own life, the more I get annoyed at everyone else. The price you pay in the search for the self, huh?
And Mouth certainly upsets me in every way. The fact that she thinks she is right, and that there is nothing wrong with her, makes me want to set her straight all the more. But I can't do that without starting World War 3. Oh how I wish for the day when I can reveal to her some unexpected news. When she asks, shocked "I didn't know that!" I will respond with "maybe because you never asked me," and just leave that wondering, lingering thought in her head, to play with.
Sigh. I just need to work out how to not let her get to me. And perhaps a few (or a couple hundred) subtle remarks about her behaviour will somehow help me to get the point across. That her personality is not the best (said in the most diplomatic fashion).
Oh yes. Guess what Mouth was talking about so much on the weekend. Her at MY wedding.
Again now. HER at MY wedding.
We were watching the video at her house, and she barely, barely, barely said anything about me. It was all "Oh look at my dress, it was so hard to dance in," "you can see my backbones!" (and your point is?!?!) "oh I'm doing that now....." and so on. She did say that I made a nice speech at the reception, however that was only because Hubbie had said it first, and she probably felt she had to agree in order not to look like a completely rude and obnoxious person, which she still ended up looking like! It absolutely boils me to my core. You're talking about yourself and only yourself while watching my wedding video. I think there is such a thing as human kindness and considering others, and especially if you are viewing someone else's special day, I find it quite inappropriate to gas bag about yourself the entire time.
Human decency people. We all know that we watch ourselves while on tape. But to speak it out loud everytime you see yourself, and then to not ONCE, out of your own initiative, be so kind as to praise the person whose special day you were attending, because if not for them you wouldn't be there, wellllllllllll!
That's why I use the words selfish, self-absorbed, self-involved, self freaking EVERYTHING!
Good segway to the wedding video though.
Yeah. The wedding video.
Sigh again.
I don't know. Maybe I had super high expectations, due to my everyday work organising and critiquing every single damn program on tv. Yes it is a good job thank you. But then again maybe not, as I am feeling very dissatisfied with the wedding video results. But, even with that in mind, I'm still slightly disappointed by some parts of it. I mean, I could have done a better job.
There were some parts the videographer missed. Some things he could've done differently, better. Other things he could have edited better. And all of that, just by pure, common and practical video/editing style-sense, without a heartbeat, I would have known how to do it better.
I may not have all the technical experience. Some I have, but not all. But that can be learned. The vision though, comes more naturally, and that comes to me so easily. I don't know if my work has anything to do with that, but nontheless I have it.
He missed a part of a dance with my sister at the reception. The kiss in the church, he filmed from an angle that made it impossible to see my face. He says it was due to the positioning of the priest, but I believe he could have moved around and gotten a better shot. He missed the start of a traditional dance at the reception, where I started off dancing with Hubbie, then continued with both my parents. He missed them. Luckily for him they all danced with me at the end of the dance, but that's not much consolation to my enraged Dad.
Some of the editing between shots, in particular my house in the morning, have cuts rather than fades. He's placed some cuts between shots and some fades between shots. I have no idea why he wouldn't have put ALL fades, seeing as the background music in all the shots is of the live accordian we had there. I don't know why he wouldn't realise that to cut to one part of a song to another would seem a bit jumpy. Fades between that could have fixed all that, made it smoother.
No proper title menu's either. No nice moving image of Hubbie and I, followed by a chapter selection. No. Just a crappy little photo of us, and then you press play.
He said that was due to a new program he was using. Rather than have good menu's and lesser quality video, we had crappy menus and better quality videos. I know it's a minor thing, but our engagement dvd menu looks soooo much better. This one is just so plain and ordinary and you know what? As minor as it may be, it is the finishing touch on the dvd. I really truly believe so. And not having that finishing touch, along with any of the above recommended adjustments, I don't know, I just feel so, so.......
Sad.
Sigh.
I got sad. Then I got angry. I thought and thought and thought.
"I could have done a better job."
Then I thought some more. Who says I couldn't do a better job? If not right now for me, then for someone in the future.....
And so I got to thinking. Of Me, Myself and I, Miss S, director, producer and editor extraordinaire, creating timeless, perfect pieces of wedding videos, for beautiful couples to love, appreciate and cherish forever.
Accompanied ('hired' by me) by a cameraman of course.
If I won the lottery tomorrow, I swear I would invest in the highest quality, best state of the art editing and video equipment, and start my own business tomorrow. Enrol in a few programs, read a few books, and ta-da! All ready. Like I said I have the vision, therefore I need to do only a few things and touch-up on a few areas, in order to become the most successful wedding videographer this world has seen, as seen in MY HEAD.
Sigh again. But then I remember. Remember my other vision. That of being the most extraordinary writer this world has ever seen (ummm, along with every other blogger IN THE WORLD!)
I had such a strong vision a while back, I even wrote about it in a post. However, like an episode of How I Met Your Mother that I saw a while back, I'm becoming a bit too like Ted in regards to living out my dream.
In the episode, I think Ted is trying to start his own business, and rather than actually doing something proactive about it, he hires an assistant to help him on his way and organise everything for him, before he's actually achieved anything. He puts off actually starting any work, as he wants too much to have everything perfect before he commences with the next step.
And I'm soooo feeling him right now.
I guess every aspiring writer has a dream of writing the ultimate, next big hit. I have a dream of writing a saga, that would eventually eventuate into a television series. However I have so many things I wanna do first. I have never studied writing professionally. I would wanna study up on that first. I need to develop my characters first, live them, breathe them, know every single little part of them before I write about them. I need to develop ongoing storylines.
It's just that I can't possibly achieve all that I want to achieve without giving in a little, and giving up something in return. I can't help it though, I want it all. I want to edit. To write. To read all books and watch all movies. To have some 'me' time and just unwind when I want. To have couple time with Hubbie and I. To see my family, my friends. To cook. To exercise damn it, because I haven't done any of it this year.
Sigh sigh sigh.
What makes me feel better is that, much like my video creating vision, with my writing, again, I've GOT it.
You can teach someone to use the right words, teach them grammar and how to spell, talk about storylines and all of that other stuff, but at the end of the day, they've got to have it. They've got to know how to express emotion. Know how to convey feeling and tone, to make you laugh, cry, and what I believe most importantly, make you fall in love with the characters.
So, as I conclude my long-winded I-don't-know anything speel, hopefully you're beginning to realise, why, simply, I JUST DON'T KNOW.
So many questions with no answers.
Hey, you know what would be great? Next time I see Mouth and by the odd miracle that a pig happens to fly by, she'll ask me "what's new with you?"
AND I'LL REPLY,
"Well I've actually just launched my own videography business, just shot a couple of weddings on the weekend actually. Oh yeah, it's going quite well, my first few clients have referred me to others, and I'm already booked up 'til the end of next year. It's going to be a bit hard, but mainly lots of fun and really interesting, because I'm also finishing the draft of my 10th book, part of a serial which is actually in the current top 10 selling books of the year. There's talk that it's going to be developed into a television series too, I just don't know which network is going to show it, as they're all still fighting over the rights. I'll make sure the integrity of the work transfers to screen though, as I'm negotiating and my demands thus far are to retain creative control of the work and all those who are hired to act on it, as well as be the main over see-er when it comes to general directing, producing and editing of the show. Other than that, um, not much else."
(Insert stunned mullet face).
!
Sometimes you feel you try so so hard, but to no avail. That's how I felt a couple of days ago, when confronted with (or should I say bombarded with) again by Mouth.
I went into that night thinking "I am sooo pumped, I'm so happy, I'm not letting anything upset me, we are gonna have a super night!"
And after walking into her house, within half an hour I was muttering under my breath sarcastic remarks such as "Ohh, finally a positive comment."
I don't know why it is. I don't know why she gets under my skin so. I can't handle the selfishness. The world that revolves around her and her only. The 'me me me' attitude. "My dress, my day, my house, my kids, my job..." it just goes on and on.
Surely there are many people that could handle this kind of behaviour. They could smile politely and just sort of brush it off. All the while knowing how ignorant and egotistical the behaviour was. However it would not annoy them and bother them the way it does me.
I think because I am so aware of my behaviour, my actions and my words, that when I see someone who so clearly has unfavourable and rude personality traits, I can't help but be upset by it. The more I become aware of everything in my own life, the more I get annoyed at everyone else. The price you pay in the search for the self, huh?
And Mouth certainly upsets me in every way. The fact that she thinks she is right, and that there is nothing wrong with her, makes me want to set her straight all the more. But I can't do that without starting World War 3. Oh how I wish for the day when I can reveal to her some unexpected news. When she asks, shocked "I didn't know that!" I will respond with "maybe because you never asked me," and just leave that wondering, lingering thought in her head, to play with.
Sigh. I just need to work out how to not let her get to me. And perhaps a few (or a couple hundred) subtle remarks about her behaviour will somehow help me to get the point across. That her personality is not the best (said in the most diplomatic fashion).
Oh yes. Guess what Mouth was talking about so much on the weekend. Her at MY wedding.
Again now. HER at MY wedding.
We were watching the video at her house, and she barely, barely, barely said anything about me. It was all "Oh look at my dress, it was so hard to dance in," "you can see my backbones!" (and your point is?!?!) "oh I'm doing that now....." and so on. She did say that I made a nice speech at the reception, however that was only because Hubbie had said it first, and she probably felt she had to agree in order not to look like a completely rude and obnoxious person, which she still ended up looking like! It absolutely boils me to my core. You're talking about yourself and only yourself while watching my wedding video. I think there is such a thing as human kindness and considering others, and especially if you are viewing someone else's special day, I find it quite inappropriate to gas bag about yourself the entire time.
Human decency people. We all know that we watch ourselves while on tape. But to speak it out loud everytime you see yourself, and then to not ONCE, out of your own initiative, be so kind as to praise the person whose special day you were attending, because if not for them you wouldn't be there, wellllllllllll!
That's why I use the words selfish, self-absorbed, self-involved, self freaking EVERYTHING!
Good segway to the wedding video though.
Yeah. The wedding video.
Sigh again.
I don't know. Maybe I had super high expectations, due to my everyday work organising and critiquing every single damn program on tv. Yes it is a good job thank you. But then again maybe not, as I am feeling very dissatisfied with the wedding video results. But, even with that in mind, I'm still slightly disappointed by some parts of it. I mean, I could have done a better job.
There were some parts the videographer missed. Some things he could've done differently, better. Other things he could have edited better. And all of that, just by pure, common and practical video/editing style-sense, without a heartbeat, I would have known how to do it better.
I may not have all the technical experience. Some I have, but not all. But that can be learned. The vision though, comes more naturally, and that comes to me so easily. I don't know if my work has anything to do with that, but nontheless I have it.
He missed a part of a dance with my sister at the reception. The kiss in the church, he filmed from an angle that made it impossible to see my face. He says it was due to the positioning of the priest, but I believe he could have moved around and gotten a better shot. He missed the start of a traditional dance at the reception, where I started off dancing with Hubbie, then continued with both my parents. He missed them. Luckily for him they all danced with me at the end of the dance, but that's not much consolation to my enraged Dad.
Some of the editing between shots, in particular my house in the morning, have cuts rather than fades. He's placed some cuts between shots and some fades between shots. I have no idea why he wouldn't have put ALL fades, seeing as the background music in all the shots is of the live accordian we had there. I don't know why he wouldn't realise that to cut to one part of a song to another would seem a bit jumpy. Fades between that could have fixed all that, made it smoother.
No proper title menu's either. No nice moving image of Hubbie and I, followed by a chapter selection. No. Just a crappy little photo of us, and then you press play.
He said that was due to a new program he was using. Rather than have good menu's and lesser quality video, we had crappy menus and better quality videos. I know it's a minor thing, but our engagement dvd menu looks soooo much better. This one is just so plain and ordinary and you know what? As minor as it may be, it is the finishing touch on the dvd. I really truly believe so. And not having that finishing touch, along with any of the above recommended adjustments, I don't know, I just feel so, so.......
Sad.
Sigh.
I got sad. Then I got angry. I thought and thought and thought.
"I could have done a better job."
Then I thought some more. Who says I couldn't do a better job? If not right now for me, then for someone in the future.....
And so I got to thinking. Of Me, Myself and I, Miss S, director, producer and editor extraordinaire, creating timeless, perfect pieces of wedding videos, for beautiful couples to love, appreciate and cherish forever.
Accompanied ('hired' by me) by a cameraman of course.
If I won the lottery tomorrow, I swear I would invest in the highest quality, best state of the art editing and video equipment, and start my own business tomorrow. Enrol in a few programs, read a few books, and ta-da! All ready. Like I said I have the vision, therefore I need to do only a few things and touch-up on a few areas, in order to become the most successful wedding videographer this world has seen, as seen in MY HEAD.
Sigh again. But then I remember. Remember my other vision. That of being the most extraordinary writer this world has ever seen (ummm, along with every other blogger IN THE WORLD!)
I had such a strong vision a while back, I even wrote about it in a post. However, like an episode of How I Met Your Mother that I saw a while back, I'm becoming a bit too like Ted in regards to living out my dream.
In the episode, I think Ted is trying to start his own business, and rather than actually doing something proactive about it, he hires an assistant to help him on his way and organise everything for him, before he's actually achieved anything. He puts off actually starting any work, as he wants too much to have everything perfect before he commences with the next step.
And I'm soooo feeling him right now.
I guess every aspiring writer has a dream of writing the ultimate, next big hit. I have a dream of writing a saga, that would eventually eventuate into a television series. However I have so many things I wanna do first. I have never studied writing professionally. I would wanna study up on that first. I need to develop my characters first, live them, breathe them, know every single little part of them before I write about them. I need to develop ongoing storylines.
It's just that I can't possibly achieve all that I want to achieve without giving in a little, and giving up something in return. I can't help it though, I want it all. I want to edit. To write. To read all books and watch all movies. To have some 'me' time and just unwind when I want. To have couple time with Hubbie and I. To see my family, my friends. To cook. To exercise damn it, because I haven't done any of it this year.
Sigh sigh sigh.
What makes me feel better is that, much like my video creating vision, with my writing, again, I've GOT it.
You can teach someone to use the right words, teach them grammar and how to spell, talk about storylines and all of that other stuff, but at the end of the day, they've got to have it. They've got to know how to express emotion. Know how to convey feeling and tone, to make you laugh, cry, and what I believe most importantly, make you fall in love with the characters.
So, as I conclude my long-winded I-don't-know anything speel, hopefully you're beginning to realise, why, simply, I JUST DON'T KNOW.
So many questions with no answers.
Hey, you know what would be great? Next time I see Mouth and by the odd miracle that a pig happens to fly by, she'll ask me "what's new with you?"
AND I'LL REPLY,
"Well I've actually just launched my own videography business, just shot a couple of weddings on the weekend actually. Oh yeah, it's going quite well, my first few clients have referred me to others, and I'm already booked up 'til the end of next year. It's going to be a bit hard, but mainly lots of fun and really interesting, because I'm also finishing the draft of my 10th book, part of a serial which is actually in the current top 10 selling books of the year. There's talk that it's going to be developed into a television series too, I just don't know which network is going to show it, as they're all still fighting over the rights. I'll make sure the integrity of the work transfers to screen though, as I'm negotiating and my demands thus far are to retain creative control of the work and all those who are hired to act on it, as well as be the main over see-er when it comes to general directing, producing and editing of the show. Other than that, um, not much else."
(Insert stunned mullet face).
!
Friday, August 20, 2010
So EXCITED!!!! I think I might spontaneously combust
For more than one reason.
Firstly, my initial feeling of combustion comes from the very good news that Hubbie is picking up our wedding video today!
YAY!
It has been a year and 3 months-ish in waiting, and my gosh, although I KNEW that this dude was gonna take long editing the video, and I TRIED to be patient, it was really, really hard.
So the fact that at 11am today Hubbie had an appointment to see him, and now as I'm writing this it is precisely 11.26am, I am getting very squirmish, constantly looking at my mobile while at work, and waiting for that all important message to say "we've got it."
I've made Hubbie promise not to watch it until we watch it together. This will prove very hard for him for 2 reasons:
A: He is currently on leave, and has the whole day off while I'm at work.
B: We can't even watch it tonight, because I won't be home.
So he needs to keep himself from watching it 'til tomorrow morning, in the meantime with the full knowledge that he could watch it, as he has the WHOLE day off, and I wouldn't know.
It's very nerve-wracking for me, as I've begged him for the last few days since we found out we were getting it today, that he must not, under any circumstance, watch it without me.
I mean come on. I think that is relatively fair, given that it's our wedding video, that for the first time we should watch it together. He really didn't like this argument, and strongly opposed this idea at first, saying he should at least be able to watch the wedding morning at his house, and then we would watch the rest together.
But it just won't do! It won't be the same! I want us to be able to watch it for the first time together, and have it be a joint, loving, couple-y, together-ly thing we do because WE'RE married and it's our wedding video!
I don't think I'm being selfish. I don't think I'm asking for too much..... right?
No of course not. It's the video for goodness sakes. It's a BIG thing.
But generally, and overwhelmingly, it's exciting :-D I can't wait to see how our big day looks like on screen, and I really would like to remember more of the reception, as sooo much of that night is such a blur.
My second feeling of combustion comes from my girls :) My darling besties, Red and Blonde, of who I am going out with tonight. Blonde and I amongst others are going to watch Red perform in a dance concert, and then following that we're all going out to dance and drink and party:) Hence why Hubbie will be staring down the wedding DVD tonight while I'm out somewhere getting stupid.
Not in a bad way, but since Hubbie isn't coming, and since it's us '3,' I'm crossing my fingers that Red's boy, Mr Wine doesn't follow us out. He probably won't. Just because I can feel it being a really good girls night, and seeing as Blonde is going back to the U.S on Monday, this will be the last time we really get to party with her until who knows when she comes back again.
No boys allowed. Chicks only :)
LOL.
I will now go back to work and continue with my feelings of spontaneous combustion.
POP BANG POP BANG POP.
Firstly, my initial feeling of combustion comes from the very good news that Hubbie is picking up our wedding video today!
YAY!
It has been a year and 3 months-ish in waiting, and my gosh, although I KNEW that this dude was gonna take long editing the video, and I TRIED to be patient, it was really, really hard.
So the fact that at 11am today Hubbie had an appointment to see him, and now as I'm writing this it is precisely 11.26am, I am getting very squirmish, constantly looking at my mobile while at work, and waiting for that all important message to say "we've got it."
I've made Hubbie promise not to watch it until we watch it together. This will prove very hard for him for 2 reasons:
A: He is currently on leave, and has the whole day off while I'm at work.
B: We can't even watch it tonight, because I won't be home.
So he needs to keep himself from watching it 'til tomorrow morning, in the meantime with the full knowledge that he could watch it, as he has the WHOLE day off, and I wouldn't know.
It's very nerve-wracking for me, as I've begged him for the last few days since we found out we were getting it today, that he must not, under any circumstance, watch it without me.
I mean come on. I think that is relatively fair, given that it's our wedding video, that for the first time we should watch it together. He really didn't like this argument, and strongly opposed this idea at first, saying he should at least be able to watch the wedding morning at his house, and then we would watch the rest together.
But it just won't do! It won't be the same! I want us to be able to watch it for the first time together, and have it be a joint, loving, couple-y, together-ly thing we do because WE'RE married and it's our wedding video!
I don't think I'm being selfish. I don't think I'm asking for too much..... right?
No of course not. It's the video for goodness sakes. It's a BIG thing.
But generally, and overwhelmingly, it's exciting :-D I can't wait to see how our big day looks like on screen, and I really would like to remember more of the reception, as sooo much of that night is such a blur.
My second feeling of combustion comes from my girls :) My darling besties, Red and Blonde, of who I am going out with tonight. Blonde and I amongst others are going to watch Red perform in a dance concert, and then following that we're all going out to dance and drink and party:) Hence why Hubbie will be staring down the wedding DVD tonight while I'm out somewhere getting stupid.
Not in a bad way, but since Hubbie isn't coming, and since it's us '3,' I'm crossing my fingers that Red's boy, Mr Wine doesn't follow us out. He probably won't. Just because I can feel it being a really good girls night, and seeing as Blonde is going back to the U.S on Monday, this will be the last time we really get to party with her until who knows when she comes back again.
No boys allowed. Chicks only :)
LOL.
I will now go back to work and continue with my feelings of spontaneous combustion.
POP BANG POP BANG POP.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
"Make sure I always drink 150 litres of water a day." "Okay."
Those were my whispery, pain-induced words, last night at 3am in the morning after I took 2 panadols to stop the jack-hammer that was forcing its way out of my head, crack by crack at a time.
Never mind the stomach cramps, no those were child's play compared to the head cracking.
It had been a long day. A hard, long day at times, towards the end though, it had actually turned out great. However most of the day I was all "Woe is me." I wasn't liking it one bit.
I spent a good majority of it whinging about all things surrounding my birthday.
I want lots of people to come out to the bar on Friday night.
I want lots of people to come out so it makes up for last years poor performance.
What about Saturday's party, will my cousins be upset I didn't invite them?
Will they see my facebook photos and be upset? Will it start a war?
Why haven't they come to my place yet?
Why should I throw an official party so they come?
Crying. Whinging. Depressed. Sobbing. Just all round down, down, down.
I'd had some deep and meaningfuls with my mum and sister over the past 2 days. Although they meant well, those talks definitely contributed to my downfall in demeanour.
It happens every year. Every year, leading up to my birthday, something REALLY gets me down. Like clockwork something happens. I'm starting to think that it's because I put soooo much emphasis on my birthday, and I build it up and look forward to it so much that quite inevitably, the slghtest thing happens to trigger an onslaught of negative emotions. Either someone upsets me, I remember something bad (yes I get THAT sensitive), someone doesn't agree with me, etc, etc. And suddenly the tidal waves of tears crash down with fierce intensity.
Hubbie was awesome. After getting me to snap out of my stupid/sad/pathetic state, I slowly went through my bullshit arguments to try clear up all the sadness I was feeling overwhelmed by.
1. Who cares who comes on Friday night? I knew for a FACT that I would definitely be with Hubbie, Red, Blonde and Mr Wine. Our group would rock the joint and have the most fun ever! It's not the quantity of people, rather the quality.
2. As above, with the addition of, so what? The difference between this year and last, is I won't be holding on to expectations of waiting for people to turn up and make me happy. I'll be happy because I'll make the happiness.
3. No. Firstly, because our house doesn't fit a million people, secondly, any cousins that I've called for Friday night will be called for Saturday, and thirdly, they themselves might even be otherwise engaged with the multitude of August birthdays that we have in our familial calendar!
4. No, because who doesn't come Friday, won't be called Saturday. And if they don't come Friday, most likely because they're busy Friday and/or Saturday.
5. Because they want a freakin' formal invite and the red carpet to be rolled out (hence the deep and meaningfuls before mentioned with Mum and Sister).
6. Because, at the end of the day, they do love me, they do care, and if they didn't they wouldn't have showered Hubbie and I with so much love, affection and presents as they did on the events leading up to our wedding day, including the big day.
Ok, so the last 2 points weren't entirely related to the birthday topic, but they did prove a point of confusion for me yesterday.
So I eventually got better-er, saw Blonde, Red and friends again last night for a catch-up (after seeing Blonde after her flight back here on Sunday).
However my new-found joy didn't help the fact that in the midst of my rage-fuelled depression during the day, and contributing-developing stomach cramps, I had failed to drink enough water. I had in fact, drank very little water, and that coupled with the fact that I had cried a few oceans, left me as dry as a desert.
Bringing us back to the post title. Lying in bed after taking my drugs, I was trying to keep myself very still in order to keep my head from throbbing so much. Every movement brought with it more pain. I'd never experienced anything like it. I'd never really had headaches, EVER until perhaps the age of 18 onwards, and even then I'd say "my head hurts" instead of "I have a headache," because it didn't seem so bad. And I soon learnt that I only got them (however rarely) when I didn't drink enough water.
Usually sleep washes it away. I wake up all refreshed and the 'hurt' is gone. I know drinking water isn't enough, especially at that late stage, so sleep is really the best medicine. But it clearly wasn't enough last night. I fell asleep and found myself tossing and turning, for 3 hours, until I reached such a painful point that I was mercifully thrown from my half-asleep stupor into full consciousness, whining, whispering "I have such a headache."
And then, while I waited for the wonderful drugs to kick in, I let Hubbie know, whimpering, in my struggling, agonised tone of voice,
"Make sure I always drink 150 litres of water a day."
"Okay." he whispered back.
(P.S My Birthday Extravaganza is gonna be Awesome!)
Never mind the stomach cramps, no those were child's play compared to the head cracking.
It had been a long day. A hard, long day at times, towards the end though, it had actually turned out great. However most of the day I was all "Woe is me." I wasn't liking it one bit.
I spent a good majority of it whinging about all things surrounding my birthday.
I want lots of people to come out to the bar on Friday night.
I want lots of people to come out so it makes up for last years poor performance.
What about Saturday's party, will my cousins be upset I didn't invite them?
Will they see my facebook photos and be upset? Will it start a war?
Why haven't they come to my place yet?
Why should I throw an official party so they come?
Crying. Whinging. Depressed. Sobbing. Just all round down, down, down.
I'd had some deep and meaningfuls with my mum and sister over the past 2 days. Although they meant well, those talks definitely contributed to my downfall in demeanour.
It happens every year. Every year, leading up to my birthday, something REALLY gets me down. Like clockwork something happens. I'm starting to think that it's because I put soooo much emphasis on my birthday, and I build it up and look forward to it so much that quite inevitably, the slghtest thing happens to trigger an onslaught of negative emotions. Either someone upsets me, I remember something bad (yes I get THAT sensitive), someone doesn't agree with me, etc, etc. And suddenly the tidal waves of tears crash down with fierce intensity.
Hubbie was awesome. After getting me to snap out of my stupid/sad/pathetic state, I slowly went through my bullshit arguments to try clear up all the sadness I was feeling overwhelmed by.
1. Who cares who comes on Friday night? I knew for a FACT that I would definitely be with Hubbie, Red, Blonde and Mr Wine. Our group would rock the joint and have the most fun ever! It's not the quantity of people, rather the quality.
2. As above, with the addition of, so what? The difference between this year and last, is I won't be holding on to expectations of waiting for people to turn up and make me happy. I'll be happy because I'll make the happiness.
3. No. Firstly, because our house doesn't fit a million people, secondly, any cousins that I've called for Friday night will be called for Saturday, and thirdly, they themselves might even be otherwise engaged with the multitude of August birthdays that we have in our familial calendar!
4. No, because who doesn't come Friday, won't be called Saturday. And if they don't come Friday, most likely because they're busy Friday and/or Saturday.
5. Because they want a freakin' formal invite and the red carpet to be rolled out (hence the deep and meaningfuls before mentioned with Mum and Sister).
6. Because, at the end of the day, they do love me, they do care, and if they didn't they wouldn't have showered Hubbie and I with so much love, affection and presents as they did on the events leading up to our wedding day, including the big day.
Ok, so the last 2 points weren't entirely related to the birthday topic, but they did prove a point of confusion for me yesterday.
So I eventually got better-er, saw Blonde, Red and friends again last night for a catch-up (after seeing Blonde after her flight back here on Sunday).
However my new-found joy didn't help the fact that in the midst of my rage-fuelled depression during the day, and contributing-developing stomach cramps, I had failed to drink enough water. I had in fact, drank very little water, and that coupled with the fact that I had cried a few oceans, left me as dry as a desert.
Bringing us back to the post title. Lying in bed after taking my drugs, I was trying to keep myself very still in order to keep my head from throbbing so much. Every movement brought with it more pain. I'd never experienced anything like it. I'd never really had headaches, EVER until perhaps the age of 18 onwards, and even then I'd say "my head hurts" instead of "I have a headache," because it didn't seem so bad. And I soon learnt that I only got them (however rarely) when I didn't drink enough water.
Usually sleep washes it away. I wake up all refreshed and the 'hurt' is gone. I know drinking water isn't enough, especially at that late stage, so sleep is really the best medicine. But it clearly wasn't enough last night. I fell asleep and found myself tossing and turning, for 3 hours, until I reached such a painful point that I was mercifully thrown from my half-asleep stupor into full consciousness, whining, whispering "I have such a headache."
And then, while I waited for the wonderful drugs to kick in, I let Hubbie know, whimpering, in my struggling, agonised tone of voice,
"Make sure I always drink 150 litres of water a day."
"Okay." he whispered back.
(P.S My Birthday Extravaganza is gonna be Awesome!)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's the Thought that Counts
I had a weird dream last night. Yes, you may say, another odd dream, what's new? Especially given the content of my most recent blogs. But I guess the content made it weird, I just don't get it.
So in the dream, my cousin Legs, who is currently planning her own matrimonial mayhems, was there with her sister. We'll call her Hair, if we haven't already given her a name. Hair says to me in the dream, in front of her sister Legs, and in front of their listening Mum (intimidating much?!) "can Legs borrow your wedding dress for her wedding, she's finding it so hard to find her own."
The operative words in this sentence are borrow your wedding dress and my reaction in the dream, is as you'd expect, quite similar to one I'd have in real life.
Unhappy and sad. I want my wedding dress to remain as my wedding dress, not someone else's! If anything, if anyone could wear my wedding dress, it would be my daughter if that situation ever arose and she wanted to. I think I even thought that in my dream. Also, I felt pressured in the dream, especially in front of Legs and Hair's mum, which is why in my dream I reluctantly agreed, although it was almost like a "I don't think it will work" agreement which was construed by them as a "she's coming around."
So I ended up bringing out my wedding dress, and it looked different to what it is in real life, it had shades of brown on it or something. And then, thankfully, luckily, the dress didn't fit on her. And here's the weird part again: it wasn't Legs trying on my dress for her wedding, it was her sister, Hair, who isn't getting married.... hmmmm or is she? Hair had actually reverted to her childhood self in the part where she tried on my dress in the dream, which is even more trippy.
I've been too busy recovering from being sick lately that I can't even be bothered trying to work out this dream and what it could mean. However, the dream did remind me of some closure I could provide regarding another matter concerning Legs and her upcoming nuptials, in the form of bridesmaid-ery.......
Yes, the matter of Legs asking me to be bridesmaid whilst under the influence and being highly emotional, and then pretending it never happened. That hilariously ridiculous matter is what I am speaking of.
I saw her a few months ago I think, at a family gathering, and we got to talking about her wedding, her wedding plans, what she had organised, and all things wedding related. I love talking about all that, having been through it, but also I love being able to help others going through the same process, as I know there is so much involved, and so much to think of that you could easily miss.
I had never planned to outright ask her who her bridesmaids were; I didn't want to put her on the spot and make her feel bad, make her feel like she had to explain herself to me. But I did want to put her at ease, regarding wedding talk with me, and I can't deny, I was curious about who her bridesmaids were, especially if one of them was my other cousin Fake, and whether Fake had managed to worm her way into the bridal party.
I think in asking her about her bridesmaid dresses, that's when she told me; it was almost like she breathed in, mentally braced herself and allowed herself to speak, and then she told me - I think she was a little nervous.
So she revealed her 3: her sister Hair (no surprise there) her best friend (again, good choice), and then.......
our cousin......... our much younger 14 year old, very sweet cousin.
I smiled and said, very sincerely "you've made some really good bridesmaid choices." And I meant it. I think I also commented on the fact that it was good they were all young, stressing the young part, as Fake is the older cousin, who at that other party ages ago, was pathetically trying to include herself in the bridal party without invitation.
So it is all good. I let her know she made a good choice with her selections, because honestly, I don't want her to feel weird about what happened, the invite, the unofficial un-invite and what-not. I'm happy for her. And I'm just happy knowing what I know: in her moment of not-thinking, of being relaxed, giddy and happy in her time of celebration, with no hesitation and totally uninhibited, she turned to me and said:
"Miss S, I want you to be my bridesmaid."
And that is enough. :)
So in the dream, my cousin Legs, who is currently planning her own matrimonial mayhems, was there with her sister. We'll call her Hair, if we haven't already given her a name. Hair says to me in the dream, in front of her sister Legs, and in front of their listening Mum (intimidating much?!) "can Legs borrow your wedding dress for her wedding, she's finding it so hard to find her own."
The operative words in this sentence are borrow your wedding dress and my reaction in the dream, is as you'd expect, quite similar to one I'd have in real life.
Unhappy and sad. I want my wedding dress to remain as my wedding dress, not someone else's! If anything, if anyone could wear my wedding dress, it would be my daughter if that situation ever arose and she wanted to. I think I even thought that in my dream. Also, I felt pressured in the dream, especially in front of Legs and Hair's mum, which is why in my dream I reluctantly agreed, although it was almost like a "I don't think it will work" agreement which was construed by them as a "she's coming around."
So I ended up bringing out my wedding dress, and it looked different to what it is in real life, it had shades of brown on it or something. And then, thankfully, luckily, the dress didn't fit on her. And here's the weird part again: it wasn't Legs trying on my dress for her wedding, it was her sister, Hair, who isn't getting married.... hmmmm or is she? Hair had actually reverted to her childhood self in the part where she tried on my dress in the dream, which is even more trippy.
I've been too busy recovering from being sick lately that I can't even be bothered trying to work out this dream and what it could mean. However, the dream did remind me of some closure I could provide regarding another matter concerning Legs and her upcoming nuptials, in the form of bridesmaid-ery.......
Yes, the matter of Legs asking me to be bridesmaid whilst under the influence and being highly emotional, and then pretending it never happened. That hilariously ridiculous matter is what I am speaking of.
I saw her a few months ago I think, at a family gathering, and we got to talking about her wedding, her wedding plans, what she had organised, and all things wedding related. I love talking about all that, having been through it, but also I love being able to help others going through the same process, as I know there is so much involved, and so much to think of that you could easily miss.
I had never planned to outright ask her who her bridesmaids were; I didn't want to put her on the spot and make her feel bad, make her feel like she had to explain herself to me. But I did want to put her at ease, regarding wedding talk with me, and I can't deny, I was curious about who her bridesmaids were, especially if one of them was my other cousin Fake, and whether Fake had managed to worm her way into the bridal party.
I think in asking her about her bridesmaid dresses, that's when she told me; it was almost like she breathed in, mentally braced herself and allowed herself to speak, and then she told me - I think she was a little nervous.
So she revealed her 3: her sister Hair (no surprise there) her best friend (again, good choice), and then.......
our cousin......... our much younger 14 year old, very sweet cousin.
I smiled and said, very sincerely "you've made some really good bridesmaid choices." And I meant it. I think I also commented on the fact that it was good they were all young, stressing the young part, as Fake is the older cousin, who at that other party ages ago, was pathetically trying to include herself in the bridal party without invitation.
So it is all good. I let her know she made a good choice with her selections, because honestly, I don't want her to feel weird about what happened, the invite, the unofficial un-invite and what-not. I'm happy for her. And I'm just happy knowing what I know: in her moment of not-thinking, of being relaxed, giddy and happy in her time of celebration, with no hesitation and totally uninhibited, she turned to me and said:
"Miss S, I want you to be my bridesmaid."
And that is enough. :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
M.I.A: A Poem
In light of the fact that I have been totally absent from blogging for what seems like forever, rather than chronicle the exciting and fantastic adventures of my everyday life in an effort to update the blog world, I decided to compose a poem.
Ahem.
The biggest news I have to share
Would be about our latest dare
We bought a block of land you see
A house to build upon will be
My Swedish friend came back to visit
(Odd to visit her home don't you think?)
Nonetheless we all had fun
And back in December she will come
Another friend of mine did wed
For 8 years now a life they'd shared
The day was great! we talked, laughed and danced
And took stupid photos 'til we pissed our pants
My cousin came from overseas
And I took her out to a Hens Night Party
We had good times, took heaps of shots
(Both alcoholic and photo sorts!)
On the work front, it has been flat out
Since our boss here decided to depart
But having returned from her South African cruise
All our worries have gone, and our blues
As for my dear cousin Legs' days
She's still planning her matrimonial ways
And she has been asking me for advice
To which I think it is really nice :)
My Bestie's boy, Wine we call him
some days are good, some are a whim
It's up and down, but generally I believe,
all of us are different - so accept it, PLEASE!
My overseas bestie is planning her return
A visit only (I know, I know)
Her sister is going through a pregnancy
And a doting aunty my friend will be!
We've had an invasion of disgusting pests
Portugese Millipedes - ugh (are they migrants?)
They come into the house and slide upon our floors
And we just pick them up and hurl them outdoors
A revelation it seems 'bout Ricky Martin
He prefers men - have I been dim?
My love for his music has kept me biased
But now I must accept his truth, not deny it
Speaking of which, went to see George!
Michael that is, of Wham! days - and oh Lord
He is a true talent, genius and a star
A musical legend he is by FAR
Some sad news of late from overseas
A cousin of mine met his fate unfortunately
He died before his time, a shock for all
But when you rise too fast, eventually you must fall
Still Twilight-ing, Eclipse I have read
Starting Breaking Dawn soon - and yes I do care
These books are addictive, they make me mad!
More often than not, I go from happy to sad
A positive spin on things I try to do
It keeps me sane and feeling brand new
It's important to focus on life's good things
Like love, health and happiness, and all else that it brings.
I think that sums up the last few months perfectly. At the time I felt there was really no way I could write a blog that measured up to the immensity of information and emotion of my last blog, regarding Richard Carlson's death. But time helps you think, move on, and think of things in perspective.
So, I re-introduce myself to you, as Miss S :)
Ahem.
The biggest news I have to share
Would be about our latest dare
We bought a block of land you see
A house to build upon will be
My Swedish friend came back to visit
(Odd to visit her home don't you think?)
Nonetheless we all had fun
And back in December she will come
Another friend of mine did wed
For 8 years now a life they'd shared
The day was great! we talked, laughed and danced
And took stupid photos 'til we pissed our pants
My cousin came from overseas
And I took her out to a Hens Night Party
We had good times, took heaps of shots
(Both alcoholic and photo sorts!)
On the work front, it has been flat out
Since our boss here decided to depart
But having returned from her South African cruise
All our worries have gone, and our blues
As for my dear cousin Legs' days
She's still planning her matrimonial ways
And she has been asking me for advice
To which I think it is really nice :)
My Bestie's boy, Wine we call him
some days are good, some are a whim
It's up and down, but generally I believe,
all of us are different - so accept it, PLEASE!
My overseas bestie is planning her return
A visit only (I know, I know)
Her sister is going through a pregnancy
And a doting aunty my friend will be!
We've had an invasion of disgusting pests
Portugese Millipedes - ugh (are they migrants?)
They come into the house and slide upon our floors
And we just pick them up and hurl them outdoors
A revelation it seems 'bout Ricky Martin
He prefers men - have I been dim?
My love for his music has kept me biased
But now I must accept his truth, not deny it
Speaking of which, went to see George!
Michael that is, of Wham! days - and oh Lord
He is a true talent, genius and a star
A musical legend he is by FAR
Some sad news of late from overseas
A cousin of mine met his fate unfortunately
He died before his time, a shock for all
But when you rise too fast, eventually you must fall
Still Twilight-ing, Eclipse I have read
Starting Breaking Dawn soon - and yes I do care
These books are addictive, they make me mad!
More often than not, I go from happy to sad
A positive spin on things I try to do
It keeps me sane and feeling brand new
It's important to focus on life's good things
Like love, health and happiness, and all else that it brings.
I think that sums up the last few months perfectly. At the time I felt there was really no way I could write a blog that measured up to the immensity of information and emotion of my last blog, regarding Richard Carlson's death. But time helps you think, move on, and think of things in perspective.
So, I re-introduce myself to you, as Miss S :)
Friday, November 6, 2009
WOW. What a weekend/s, what a week/s - Part 2 of my Marathon
Friday morning I had instructions. Before work I was to get half a piece of bread, make it soggy with water and then break it up into little-itty-bitty pieces so that the little-itty-bitty bird could eat it.
I was shitty because firstly, I had to do this. Why couldn't Hubbie do this, he found the bird? I'm almost late to work everyday as it is, let alone having a bird I needed to feed.
His excuse was it's still dark when he gets up. Yes, but.... hmph.
So, I did my bit. And I must admit, when I walked into the shed, and tentatively peeked into the beer box, through the old bbq rack, and saw this cute, so so so small bird staring up at me, my heart melted. It was standing, just staring up, quite unaware of all the trauma we were feeling because of it.
It was soooo sweet. I started crumbing up bits of soggy bread, dropping it through the bbq rack steel slats, and they just dropped around the bird. The bird didn't flinch, it just kept looking at me, it didn't even look down at what I had just dropped. Although I crumbed up the whole piece, I realised this bird was probably looking at me as a substitute for its mother, and expecting me to put the food directly in its mouth. After trying to aim the bread INTO its mouth, unsuccessfully, I whispered some words of eating encouragement to the little one ( I was growing quite fond of it now ) and left.
I had an appointment to get my hair cut and coloured that day after work, so I went there straight after without going home. Before I walked in, I called Hubbie to find out what had happened with the bird when he got home.
I was so surprised, both happy surprised and sad surprised, when he told me he had taken the bird to the local vet, so that they could feed it properly to eventually release it. Happy because this poor bird was finally gonna get some decent help, but sad because in that short amount of time, I felt like I needed to say goodbye to it first before it continued on its journey. Weird, huh?
But I was glad, glad that our efforts had paid off, and that this bird which would have otherwise been eaten by a neighbourhood cat, was getting a second chance at life. Albeit without its little family of birds, but better a life alone than death....
When I got home, more good news. Hubbie had left the fridge in its place, but now the bins were outside in the backyard again. Although we couldn't take them out through the garage anymore, we could just roll them through the house. A little price to pay to make everyone happy.
I had to wait for my U.S pal to stop by to drop off some stuff, and once she had, I rushed to the shops to FINALLY do my massive grocery shop. In my heels, I ran through the store, trolley flying in front of me, and managed to get everything in about 30 minutes. There was no checking for prices or brands, I was just randomly grabbing whatever it was I needed with no usual grocery shopping deliberation about which brand is better and/or cheaper. The store closed and I was on my happy way.
I managed to make my cookie batch that night, and then there was still heaps to do awaiting me the next day.
In summary, Saturday was spent going to the shops, making a lasagna ( and this is a lasagna! ) cleaning the ENTIRE house and getting myself ready for the wedding we had that night, my U.S bestie's sister. It may not sound like much but let me tell you, I barely had time to eat. And all this preparation, for my Hubbie's birthday the next day, where we were having both his and mine immediate families over for lunch, plus some close friends. And Hubbie and I don't do things in halves.
By Saturday night, as excited as I was about having a great night out with my friends, I was spent, and having a glass of red didn't help the cause either.
By the time I got to sleep at 1.30am, I was so tired, not just from that day, but from knowing what would await me the next day, and how much I still had to do.
7.00am I got up, it was painful, really. I'd set my alarm for 6.30am, but I just couldn't get myself up. I trudged out of bed and made my way to my tasks ahead.
Which included: making a cake, preparing the tables, making various salads and other foods and just a whole lot of preparation. If Hubbie hadn't gotten up and helped me out, I'd have been screwed.
Ha ha. The irony of that.
The day went fine, busy but fine. I barely had a chance to sit down, other than when I ate, and after when the cake had been cut and we'd sung happy birthday. I'd actually been finishing the cake throughout the day, so you can see how busy the day had been. The cake was a white chocolate cheesecake and it was a definite success! Everyone loved it, especially Hubbie, which is what mattered most :)
On top of everything that day, my friends came over that night, mainly because my U.S pal was now heading back to the States the next morning, so it was our last little get together.
Thank goodness I'd taken the Monday off. I had a surprise for Hubbie, I'd organised a Crime Tour of our city, after some lunch, and the tour alone took about 3 hours. It was nice, if not just to see our city through new, refreshed eyes.
That night our folks came over to help us eat the leftovers, and then more friends came by later on. It was fun, but the busy-ness was starting to look never-ending to me.
I thought the next night was gonna be quiet, but we ended up out to dinner with some OTHER friends, and then they came over for drinks. Sigh.
FINALLY my break came on Wednesday night. Once I'd finished my nightly duties, I think I just sat on the couch (actually I LAY down) and watched eps of The Bold and the Beautiful that I'd taped. And it felt sooooo good.
Although the previous week/s had been fun, because they had involved our close family, close friends and fun celebrations, I was still so wrecked by it all. As much as I love them all, I was so glad for it to be over. That following weekend we still had some stuff on, but this time it was different, because I didn't have to cook everything and clean the whole house in preparation! We were going out, which was easier....
We had dinner out Saturday night with Hubbie's boss and his wife (boss had gotten a bonus, so we were benefiting from it!) and Sunday night was another wedding.
A public holiday came during the week, and usually on a day like that where I would encourage Hubbie and I to do something with friends, you know what it was that I wanted? All I wanted was "peace and quiet." As my 7-year-old nephew says to his parents when they have a hectic weekend going everywhere, and all he wants to do is stay home and play with his toys. I just wanted to stay at home, and relax.
Which is what you need. Sometimes you need it. Nothingness can be so good.
We won't mind the story about the back-door neighbours stupid dog that dug underneath our fence to make it into our backyard and ruin the small vegie patch we had going. That's a stupid incident we won't indulge in here, because here and now, it's all well, and it's all good.
The weekend ahead looks promising. The forecast says the sun will be shining, there are blue skies ahead, and good times look like a definite. With weather like that, I think I'm ready to get busy again :)
I was shitty because firstly, I had to do this. Why couldn't Hubbie do this, he found the bird? I'm almost late to work everyday as it is, let alone having a bird I needed to feed.
His excuse was it's still dark when he gets up. Yes, but.... hmph.
So, I did my bit. And I must admit, when I walked into the shed, and tentatively peeked into the beer box, through the old bbq rack, and saw this cute, so so so small bird staring up at me, my heart melted. It was standing, just staring up, quite unaware of all the trauma we were feeling because of it.
It was soooo sweet. I started crumbing up bits of soggy bread, dropping it through the bbq rack steel slats, and they just dropped around the bird. The bird didn't flinch, it just kept looking at me, it didn't even look down at what I had just dropped. Although I crumbed up the whole piece, I realised this bird was probably looking at me as a substitute for its mother, and expecting me to put the food directly in its mouth. After trying to aim the bread INTO its mouth, unsuccessfully, I whispered some words of eating encouragement to the little one ( I was growing quite fond of it now ) and left.
I had an appointment to get my hair cut and coloured that day after work, so I went there straight after without going home. Before I walked in, I called Hubbie to find out what had happened with the bird when he got home.
I was so surprised, both happy surprised and sad surprised, when he told me he had taken the bird to the local vet, so that they could feed it properly to eventually release it. Happy because this poor bird was finally gonna get some decent help, but sad because in that short amount of time, I felt like I needed to say goodbye to it first before it continued on its journey. Weird, huh?
But I was glad, glad that our efforts had paid off, and that this bird which would have otherwise been eaten by a neighbourhood cat, was getting a second chance at life. Albeit without its little family of birds, but better a life alone than death....
When I got home, more good news. Hubbie had left the fridge in its place, but now the bins were outside in the backyard again. Although we couldn't take them out through the garage anymore, we could just roll them through the house. A little price to pay to make everyone happy.
I had to wait for my U.S pal to stop by to drop off some stuff, and once she had, I rushed to the shops to FINALLY do my massive grocery shop. In my heels, I ran through the store, trolley flying in front of me, and managed to get everything in about 30 minutes. There was no checking for prices or brands, I was just randomly grabbing whatever it was I needed with no usual grocery shopping deliberation about which brand is better and/or cheaper. The store closed and I was on my happy way.
I managed to make my cookie batch that night, and then there was still heaps to do awaiting me the next day.
In summary, Saturday was spent going to the shops, making a lasagna ( and this is a lasagna! ) cleaning the ENTIRE house and getting myself ready for the wedding we had that night, my U.S bestie's sister. It may not sound like much but let me tell you, I barely had time to eat. And all this preparation, for my Hubbie's birthday the next day, where we were having both his and mine immediate families over for lunch, plus some close friends. And Hubbie and I don't do things in halves.
By Saturday night, as excited as I was about having a great night out with my friends, I was spent, and having a glass of red didn't help the cause either.
By the time I got to sleep at 1.30am, I was so tired, not just from that day, but from knowing what would await me the next day, and how much I still had to do.
7.00am I got up, it was painful, really. I'd set my alarm for 6.30am, but I just couldn't get myself up. I trudged out of bed and made my way to my tasks ahead.
Which included: making a cake, preparing the tables, making various salads and other foods and just a whole lot of preparation. If Hubbie hadn't gotten up and helped me out, I'd have been screwed.
Ha ha. The irony of that.
The day went fine, busy but fine. I barely had a chance to sit down, other than when I ate, and after when the cake had been cut and we'd sung happy birthday. I'd actually been finishing the cake throughout the day, so you can see how busy the day had been. The cake was a white chocolate cheesecake and it was a definite success! Everyone loved it, especially Hubbie, which is what mattered most :)
On top of everything that day, my friends came over that night, mainly because my U.S pal was now heading back to the States the next morning, so it was our last little get together.
Thank goodness I'd taken the Monday off. I had a surprise for Hubbie, I'd organised a Crime Tour of our city, after some lunch, and the tour alone took about 3 hours. It was nice, if not just to see our city through new, refreshed eyes.
That night our folks came over to help us eat the leftovers, and then more friends came by later on. It was fun, but the busy-ness was starting to look never-ending to me.
I thought the next night was gonna be quiet, but we ended up out to dinner with some OTHER friends, and then they came over for drinks. Sigh.
FINALLY my break came on Wednesday night. Once I'd finished my nightly duties, I think I just sat on the couch (actually I LAY down) and watched eps of The Bold and the Beautiful that I'd taped. And it felt sooooo good.
Although the previous week/s had been fun, because they had involved our close family, close friends and fun celebrations, I was still so wrecked by it all. As much as I love them all, I was so glad for it to be over. That following weekend we still had some stuff on, but this time it was different, because I didn't have to cook everything and clean the whole house in preparation! We were going out, which was easier....
We had dinner out Saturday night with Hubbie's boss and his wife (boss had gotten a bonus, so we were benefiting from it!) and Sunday night was another wedding.
A public holiday came during the week, and usually on a day like that where I would encourage Hubbie and I to do something with friends, you know what it was that I wanted? All I wanted was "peace and quiet." As my 7-year-old nephew says to his parents when they have a hectic weekend going everywhere, and all he wants to do is stay home and play with his toys. I just wanted to stay at home, and relax.
Which is what you need. Sometimes you need it. Nothingness can be so good.
We won't mind the story about the back-door neighbours stupid dog that dug underneath our fence to make it into our backyard and ruin the small vegie patch we had going. That's a stupid incident we won't indulge in here, because here and now, it's all well, and it's all good.
The weekend ahead looks promising. The forecast says the sun will be shining, there are blue skies ahead, and good times look like a definite. With weather like that, I think I'm ready to get busy again :)
Monday, November 2, 2009
WOW. What a weekend/s, what a week/s
Definitely the right word. WOW.
It has been crazy-mania for a while now. Two Saturdays ago, one of my best friends flew on over from the States, to make it for her sisters wedding.
The same day that she flew over, we went out for her sisters hens night. Being the first girls night I've been to since getting married, the phrase "getting wasted" was a complete understatement to me. My friends found me particularly amusing and entertaining that night. As did Hubbie when I stumbled into the house, clickety-clackety, moaning that I was drunk.
The following day found me not only re-cuperating from the previous nights bender, but catching up wth my sister and brother-in-law, at lo and behold, a bar.
As if I didn't have enough the night before. With the family I had, I had no choice BUT to drink, unless I wanted to be ridiculed for the rest of eternity.
It was a really nice day though, and I didn't drink too much. It was a lovely family catch up.
The next day, Monday night, my U.S pal came by for a visit, and after catching up for a few hours she fell asleep on our couch. While we waited for her sister to pick her up, Hubbie and I took terms babysitting her sleeping self on the couch while the other got ready for bed! By the time she was picked up, I ended up going to bed about 1am.
That was 3 nights of sleep screwed up already. And it was only the beginning of the working week, meaning I wouldn't have much time to catch up on sleep until the weekend. And even that didn't look promising, as the following weekend was going to be busy, busy, busy!!!!
The following nights I can't really remember to be honest. But I know that when you have odd and insufficient sleep patterns for a few nights, you actually need to sleep IN to fix your body clock up. And getting up for work wasn't fixing me up much.
Plus I was busy trying to organise my Hubbie's birthday lunch for that coming Sunday. I had all these plans, to make some food earlier, make a cake and make coo kies, do the grocery shopping, plan my dishes, clean the house, etc, etc....
Thursday after work I had big plans, to do ALL my grocery shopping, make the cookie dough (so it was ready to be baked fresh Sunday morning) as well as get ready for work and other regular weeknight jobs.
Then the bird and the fridge happened. This is a freakin' book in itself.
Let me begin.
I'd come home earlier that day from work, and as Hubbie wanted me to wait for him to eat dinner (I think just leftovers) I had no choice but to wait. My first point of frustration was not being able to make sandwiches for work the next day, as we were out of bread. So I found myself wasting time, which I did not want on a night when I wanted to get a lot done.
Also that day, we'd received a fridge that we had previously ordered, an extra fridge that we wanted to keep in the garage for those family functions where there was just not often room in ONE fridge for all the food, drinks and dessert we had; in other words, this was a grog fridge.
So this fridge was now in our garage having been delivered earlier in the day with my Dad there to accept it.
Hubbie came home and one of the first things out of his mouth was
"there's a baby bird in our front yard and it can't fly!"
Upon further inspection, I saw that this wasn't a baby bird that you keep as a pet, rather it was one of the wild neighbourhood birds (like a sparrow) and it was quite literally in our front yard, so small, trying to fly but not even managing 20 cm into the air, as its wings were not strong enough.
Now I'm not normally a person that gravitates towards birds. I think everyone has one pet animal they prefer and mine is cats. I've never been a huge bird person, but because of Hubbie's love of birds and other random animals, I've grown fond of certain types of them.
Now this was, as I say, only a wild neighbourhood bird, but if you saw how tiny and vulnerable it looked, and the way its wings fluttered helplessly as it tried to take off, your heart would've cried too.
Hubbie and I KNEW what we had to do. We had to somehow save this bird. Another larger bird, possibly a member of its family, flew in a few times when it thought we weren't there, and either gave something to the little one or just checked on it. But then it never came back. And despite my wishful thinking, a flock of birds did not come and lift this baby bird off into the sunset.
It was going to get dark soon, and remembering the wild, vicious cat fight we'd heard outside our yard only nights before, knowing full well that there were plenty of cats in this area, this bird would not last 'til midnight. NO WAY.
So, hungry, with a new fridge in the garage that had to be adjusted because Hubbie's car didn't fit anymore, a baby bird in our front yard that couldn't fly and that would be eaten if we didn't save it, we decided to attempt the task of rescuing - ahem, catching - the bird.
Meanwhile time was ticking, and I still needed to get the grocery shopping done and make my cookie batch.
With an empty cardboard beer box, I stood in one corner, while Hubbie, with his gardening gloves, attempted to come at it from another side, in order to corner it.
The baby, tiny as it was, was also smart, and managed to make its way to a corner where it was almost impossible to reach. I kept saying "just grab it! It's a baby it won't bite you! Stop being so soft!" He attempted again a few times, and finally, managed to lift it and place it in the box. I quickly shut the lid.
As we took it around to the back of the house, (we were going to put it in the shed) I wasn't holding the lid down properly, and this little bird's head started popping out, as it tried to get out of the box.
Now it was me freaking out. I wanted to put it back in, but I didn't know how to do it without damaging its head.
I was totally freaking out and almost shrieking, and it ended up jumping out. Hubbie had to get it again and put it back in. "And you say I'm soft?!"
Yes he was right, I soooo ate my words. I guess its fear of the unknown, fear of this wild bird. No matter how small this thing is, logic flies out the window (ha ha) and you're left petrified of this little object that you could easily miss if you walked by it.
Well, we ended up setting up this poor little bird in our shed: we opened the top lid and slid over it an old bbq rack left behind from the previous tenants, that way the bird could see through and have heaps of breathing space.
Then came the fridge argument. Hubbie realised that the current position of the fridge prevented him from parking his car in the garage, as he could quite literally NOT get out of his car. If the fridge was moved up or down the side of the garage either way, it still meant there was minimal space in squeezing by. And he was not risking, in any way, a scratch on his car.
Sigh.
And then he suggested, putting our spare fridge, under the stairs. As in, in the house, under the stairs, only around the corner from the kitchen and in clear view of our other fridge there!
I was NOT a bogan! I was not going to have one fridge in clear view of the other, shoved into a house space like under the stairs, where you could still clearly see EVERYTHING!
The more we argued the more absolutely furious I got. There was NO WAY, he was keeping the fridge in the garage, with the possibility of scratching his car (he is very precious about his car you see, as it is a classic and on the not-so-cheap side) and there was NO WAY we were moving it under the stairs, where it was in clear view, as I was not going to cheapen the look of our interior. The thought absolutely disgusted me and made my lips curl.
We were stuck in a gridlock over the bloody fridge.
Then we thought of another option. Why don't we move the fridge to the other side of the garage, set up an extension lead, and that way it wouldn't be interfering with Hubbie's passageway to the car?
We realised that would also block one of our exits out - not a crucial exit point, but it was the way we brought our rubbish bins from the back of the house to the front. The fridge being in front of this exit now prevented us from moving our bins through the garage. For the moment we decided to keep the bins IN the garage, therefore removing any use for that door, which was good as we now had a fridge in front of it.
After eating, I frustratingly rushed to the shops. It wasn't helped when Hubbie called as I was getting out of my car and insisted that it was better for the fridge to be under the stairs. I nearly blew my top, the mere thought of that stupid idea turned me bright red. There was no way that was happening, and I let him know that as we hung up.
The rest of the night was just plain stupid. After getting just my BASIC grocery items, I left the shops to see a message on my mobile. I listened to the message as I drove home, and I grimaced as I got to the end of the message. Hubbie. Pretty much saying "get an extension cord...... 5 metres long........ don't leave the shops...... get the cord."
Sigh.
Back I went. And when I couldn't find the right length cord there, I had to go to ANOTHER store.
By the time I got home, I still had to wash the dishes, make lunches for the next day, clean up, and I didn't even get time to make my cookies.
He had moved the fridge in that time, but the old bird cage we wanted to get that resided at Hubbie's parents place, we couldn't get because they weren't home to drop it off to us.
At the end of the day we had a fridge wedged between an extremely frustrated couple.
And we had a bird in a cardboard beer box in a shed, perhaps more lost than when it started out.
To be continued.....
It has been crazy-mania for a while now. Two Saturdays ago, one of my best friends flew on over from the States, to make it for her sisters wedding.
The same day that she flew over, we went out for her sisters hens night. Being the first girls night I've been to since getting married, the phrase "getting wasted" was a complete understatement to me. My friends found me particularly amusing and entertaining that night. As did Hubbie when I stumbled into the house, clickety-clackety, moaning that I was drunk.
The following day found me not only re-cuperating from the previous nights bender, but catching up wth my sister and brother-in-law, at lo and behold, a bar.
As if I didn't have enough the night before. With the family I had, I had no choice BUT to drink, unless I wanted to be ridiculed for the rest of eternity.
It was a really nice day though, and I didn't drink too much. It was a lovely family catch up.
The next day, Monday night, my U.S pal came by for a visit, and after catching up for a few hours she fell asleep on our couch. While we waited for her sister to pick her up, Hubbie and I took terms babysitting her sleeping self on the couch while the other got ready for bed! By the time she was picked up, I ended up going to bed about 1am.
That was 3 nights of sleep screwed up already. And it was only the beginning of the working week, meaning I wouldn't have much time to catch up on sleep until the weekend. And even that didn't look promising, as the following weekend was going to be busy, busy, busy!!!!
The following nights I can't really remember to be honest. But I know that when you have odd and insufficient sleep patterns for a few nights, you actually need to sleep IN to fix your body clock up. And getting up for work wasn't fixing me up much.
Plus I was busy trying to organise my Hubbie's birthday lunch for that coming Sunday. I had all these plans, to make some food earlier, make a cake and make coo kies, do the grocery shopping, plan my dishes, clean the house, etc, etc....
Thursday after work I had big plans, to do ALL my grocery shopping, make the cookie dough (so it was ready to be baked fresh Sunday morning) as well as get ready for work and other regular weeknight jobs.
Then the bird and the fridge happened. This is a freakin' book in itself.
Let me begin.
I'd come home earlier that day from work, and as Hubbie wanted me to wait for him to eat dinner (I think just leftovers) I had no choice but to wait. My first point of frustration was not being able to make sandwiches for work the next day, as we were out of bread. So I found myself wasting time, which I did not want on a night when I wanted to get a lot done.
Also that day, we'd received a fridge that we had previously ordered, an extra fridge that we wanted to keep in the garage for those family functions where there was just not often room in ONE fridge for all the food, drinks and dessert we had; in other words, this was a grog fridge.
So this fridge was now in our garage having been delivered earlier in the day with my Dad there to accept it.
Hubbie came home and one of the first things out of his mouth was
"there's a baby bird in our front yard and it can't fly!"
Upon further inspection, I saw that this wasn't a baby bird that you keep as a pet, rather it was one of the wild neighbourhood birds (like a sparrow) and it was quite literally in our front yard, so small, trying to fly but not even managing 20 cm into the air, as its wings were not strong enough.
Now I'm not normally a person that gravitates towards birds. I think everyone has one pet animal they prefer and mine is cats. I've never been a huge bird person, but because of Hubbie's love of birds and other random animals, I've grown fond of certain types of them.
Now this was, as I say, only a wild neighbourhood bird, but if you saw how tiny and vulnerable it looked, and the way its wings fluttered helplessly as it tried to take off, your heart would've cried too.
Hubbie and I KNEW what we had to do. We had to somehow save this bird. Another larger bird, possibly a member of its family, flew in a few times when it thought we weren't there, and either gave something to the little one or just checked on it. But then it never came back. And despite my wishful thinking, a flock of birds did not come and lift this baby bird off into the sunset.
It was going to get dark soon, and remembering the wild, vicious cat fight we'd heard outside our yard only nights before, knowing full well that there were plenty of cats in this area, this bird would not last 'til midnight. NO WAY.
So, hungry, with a new fridge in the garage that had to be adjusted because Hubbie's car didn't fit anymore, a baby bird in our front yard that couldn't fly and that would be eaten if we didn't save it, we decided to attempt the task of rescuing - ahem, catching - the bird.
Meanwhile time was ticking, and I still needed to get the grocery shopping done and make my cookie batch.
With an empty cardboard beer box, I stood in one corner, while Hubbie, with his gardening gloves, attempted to come at it from another side, in order to corner it.
The baby, tiny as it was, was also smart, and managed to make its way to a corner where it was almost impossible to reach. I kept saying "just grab it! It's a baby it won't bite you! Stop being so soft!" He attempted again a few times, and finally, managed to lift it and place it in the box. I quickly shut the lid.
As we took it around to the back of the house, (we were going to put it in the shed) I wasn't holding the lid down properly, and this little bird's head started popping out, as it tried to get out of the box.
Now it was me freaking out. I wanted to put it back in, but I didn't know how to do it without damaging its head.
I was totally freaking out and almost shrieking, and it ended up jumping out. Hubbie had to get it again and put it back in. "And you say I'm soft?!"
Yes he was right, I soooo ate my words. I guess its fear of the unknown, fear of this wild bird. No matter how small this thing is, logic flies out the window (ha ha) and you're left petrified of this little object that you could easily miss if you walked by it.
Well, we ended up setting up this poor little bird in our shed: we opened the top lid and slid over it an old bbq rack left behind from the previous tenants, that way the bird could see through and have heaps of breathing space.
Then came the fridge argument. Hubbie realised that the current position of the fridge prevented him from parking his car in the garage, as he could quite literally NOT get out of his car. If the fridge was moved up or down the side of the garage either way, it still meant there was minimal space in squeezing by. And he was not risking, in any way, a scratch on his car.
Sigh.
And then he suggested, putting our spare fridge, under the stairs. As in, in the house, under the stairs, only around the corner from the kitchen and in clear view of our other fridge there!
I was NOT a bogan! I was not going to have one fridge in clear view of the other, shoved into a house space like under the stairs, where you could still clearly see EVERYTHING!
The more we argued the more absolutely furious I got. There was NO WAY, he was keeping the fridge in the garage, with the possibility of scratching his car (he is very precious about his car you see, as it is a classic and on the not-so-cheap side) and there was NO WAY we were moving it under the stairs, where it was in clear view, as I was not going to cheapen the look of our interior. The thought absolutely disgusted me and made my lips curl.
We were stuck in a gridlock over the bloody fridge.
Then we thought of another option. Why don't we move the fridge to the other side of the garage, set up an extension lead, and that way it wouldn't be interfering with Hubbie's passageway to the car?
We realised that would also block one of our exits out - not a crucial exit point, but it was the way we brought our rubbish bins from the back of the house to the front. The fridge being in front of this exit now prevented us from moving our bins through the garage. For the moment we decided to keep the bins IN the garage, therefore removing any use for that door, which was good as we now had a fridge in front of it.
After eating, I frustratingly rushed to the shops. It wasn't helped when Hubbie called as I was getting out of my car and insisted that it was better for the fridge to be under the stairs. I nearly blew my top, the mere thought of that stupid idea turned me bright red. There was no way that was happening, and I let him know that as we hung up.
The rest of the night was just plain stupid. After getting just my BASIC grocery items, I left the shops to see a message on my mobile. I listened to the message as I drove home, and I grimaced as I got to the end of the message. Hubbie. Pretty much saying "get an extension cord...... 5 metres long........ don't leave the shops...... get the cord."
Sigh.
Back I went. And when I couldn't find the right length cord there, I had to go to ANOTHER store.
By the time I got home, I still had to wash the dishes, make lunches for the next day, clean up, and I didn't even get time to make my cookies.
He had moved the fridge in that time, but the old bird cage we wanted to get that resided at Hubbie's parents place, we couldn't get because they weren't home to drop it off to us.
At the end of the day we had a fridge wedged between an extremely frustrated couple.
And we had a bird in a cardboard beer box in a shed, perhaps more lost than when it started out.
To be continued.....
Monday, October 19, 2009
Truth and Jealousy
I've been feeling a bit peeved off lately concerning work. There's this one little thing that's irritated me since last Friday, and now I can't stop thinking about it.
I had a conversation with a 'superior' of mine last week, there were a few others there though, so it was during a group coffee break when it happened.
One of them asked the rest of us whether we were going to a fellow colleague of ours birthday the following weekend. That fellow colleague wasn't there during the time. I didn't really hear the question because he sort of mumbled it, so when he looked at me, I asked what he'd said.
He repeated "you going to ........ birthday?"
I paused because then I realised what he was saying, and remembering that I was busy that night, replied "Oh! I have a wedding that night."
The guy joked and made some sort of comment about my ridiculously busy schedule, to which my superior added, jokingly, "Oh, excuses excuses."
Hee hee hee.
I just sort of laughed it off, and I think the conversation changed to something else. But something about it stuck with me.
That night at home I told Hubbie. He's met my superior, so he could imagine the person saying it. He may not know the person well, but he's a very good judge of character.
He told me that yes, he could imagine this person saying that. Having met this person, he could see how they would say something, in a friendly, joking way, but deep within be believing of that comment, that it was not a joke but in fact the truth.
So I was right. My superior didn't believe me. Believed that I was making up an excuse to not go to this colleague of ours birthday.
It really shitted me. And it still does. Yes, I know that every time we talk about our weekends, that my stories always include some dinner, birthday, christening, engagement, wedding or get together that I've had. I realise that normal people don't usually have a birthday and a christening on one day and then a bridal shower on the next. And I realise that my superior is probably secretly shitty because they went to my birthday and I didn't go to theirs, because of the birthday/christening day we had a few weeks back.
But you know what? Our family isn't normal. We don't have one cousin and a few uncles and aunties that we see twice a year for Christmas and Easter. We don't have family functions that include the whole family sitting on an extended stretched out table.
We have uncles and aunties that have several kids each, all of who have more kids of their own. We have our parents' cousins and family friends on top of all this. This isn't including our large group of friends, acquired through school, work and recreational activities. If you've worked in more than one place, like both Hubbie and I have, you can start to see how your group of friends suddenly becomes quite large.
If we invite everyone we know in our family to a social event, we need to hire out a RECEPTION. This is no exaggeration. We had under 400 people at our wedding. That tells you that we know a lot of people. And yes granted, a lot of those people are friends of the family that our parents had to invite only because they were once invited to their sons/daughters wedding 15 years earlier. But that's what our family is, that's what we do. The most distant relative will invite you to a function, and you're expected to do the same.
Add to that our friends, OUTSIDE of work, and you start to get a picture. Hubbie had this same issue a while back, where the guys he worked with stirred him and couldn't really believe how many functions he had, wedding after wedding, on the same weekend.
But if you think about it, what reason is there to lie? And if you were to lie, why would you make up some ridiculous excuse about having a wedding on a Saturday and then another wedding following on a Sunday? It's so far-fetched and ridiculous that it MUST be true.
We have a lot of people in our life, we are truly blessed. So, to someone that comes from a different background, with a smaller family, why should that be weird to them, why should they believe something other than the truth, why would they believe that I'm lying?
They believe this because they think I'm trying to get out of going to the work get together. Fair enough, I missed their birthday, now I'm missing this one....... it MUST mean that. Surely, you can't have that many functions, you can't have that many friends, you can't have more people in your life, and have more places to go to, and be more busy than me.........
Ahhhhhhhh. That is it. That is the answer. This person, if they wanted to, COULD believe me. If they wanted to. They COULD believe that it is possible to be that busy. But then it would mean accepting the truth that their life isn't as busy, filled with as much people and parties, as mine.
And that is the hard part to swallow. It's jealousy, as much as they don't want to admit it. Which makes me sad. I hate jealousy. I hate when I see it consuming people, little or a lot. It doesn't matter how much it is, because the end result is the same. Resentment.
So this person has disguised their jealousy and resentment with distrustfulness, because that is easier to accept. Rather than the truth. Which really peeves me off. Such a small comment, yet such a window into their mind and the way they think.
I'm a very honest person. So for someone to believe, and suggest even in a joking way, of me being manipulative and lying to get out of a situation, out of an event? Me, party person, always busy wanting to go out and do stuff?
Bull crap.
It soooooo gets to me. Like really truly. And I hate the way I'm now looking at my superior. I'm extra aware of our interactions, and just this morning when I looked up to say something, I saw them looking at me in an odd observational way. Sussing me out.
I hate it. Hate, hate, hate it. I can feel the jealousy and the scrutiny, and I need to set them straight, via my incredible subtle powers!
Because they're my superior, and I can't just come out and say it. Because of just that word. 'Superior.'
Annoying.
Sigh. Why are people so complicated?
I had a conversation with a 'superior' of mine last week, there were a few others there though, so it was during a group coffee break when it happened.
One of them asked the rest of us whether we were going to a fellow colleague of ours birthday the following weekend. That fellow colleague wasn't there during the time. I didn't really hear the question because he sort of mumbled it, so when he looked at me, I asked what he'd said.
He repeated "you going to ........ birthday?"
I paused because then I realised what he was saying, and remembering that I was busy that night, replied "Oh! I have a wedding that night."
The guy joked and made some sort of comment about my ridiculously busy schedule, to which my superior added, jokingly, "Oh, excuses excuses."
Hee hee hee.
I just sort of laughed it off, and I think the conversation changed to something else. But something about it stuck with me.
That night at home I told Hubbie. He's met my superior, so he could imagine the person saying it. He may not know the person well, but he's a very good judge of character.
He told me that yes, he could imagine this person saying that. Having met this person, he could see how they would say something, in a friendly, joking way, but deep within be believing of that comment, that it was not a joke but in fact the truth.
So I was right. My superior didn't believe me. Believed that I was making up an excuse to not go to this colleague of ours birthday.
It really shitted me. And it still does. Yes, I know that every time we talk about our weekends, that my stories always include some dinner, birthday, christening, engagement, wedding or get together that I've had. I realise that normal people don't usually have a birthday and a christening on one day and then a bridal shower on the next. And I realise that my superior is probably secretly shitty because they went to my birthday and I didn't go to theirs, because of the birthday/christening day we had a few weeks back.
But you know what? Our family isn't normal. We don't have one cousin and a few uncles and aunties that we see twice a year for Christmas and Easter. We don't have family functions that include the whole family sitting on an extended stretched out table.
We have uncles and aunties that have several kids each, all of who have more kids of their own. We have our parents' cousins and family friends on top of all this. This isn't including our large group of friends, acquired through school, work and recreational activities. If you've worked in more than one place, like both Hubbie and I have, you can start to see how your group of friends suddenly becomes quite large.
If we invite everyone we know in our family to a social event, we need to hire out a RECEPTION. This is no exaggeration. We had under 400 people at our wedding. That tells you that we know a lot of people. And yes granted, a lot of those people are friends of the family that our parents had to invite only because they were once invited to their sons/daughters wedding 15 years earlier. But that's what our family is, that's what we do. The most distant relative will invite you to a function, and you're expected to do the same.
Add to that our friends, OUTSIDE of work, and you start to get a picture. Hubbie had this same issue a while back, where the guys he worked with stirred him and couldn't really believe how many functions he had, wedding after wedding, on the same weekend.
But if you think about it, what reason is there to lie? And if you were to lie, why would you make up some ridiculous excuse about having a wedding on a Saturday and then another wedding following on a Sunday? It's so far-fetched and ridiculous that it MUST be true.
We have a lot of people in our life, we are truly blessed. So, to someone that comes from a different background, with a smaller family, why should that be weird to them, why should they believe something other than the truth, why would they believe that I'm lying?
They believe this because they think I'm trying to get out of going to the work get together. Fair enough, I missed their birthday, now I'm missing this one....... it MUST mean that. Surely, you can't have that many functions, you can't have that many friends, you can't have more people in your life, and have more places to go to, and be more busy than me.........
Ahhhhhhhh. That is it. That is the answer. This person, if they wanted to, COULD believe me. If they wanted to. They COULD believe that it is possible to be that busy. But then it would mean accepting the truth that their life isn't as busy, filled with as much people and parties, as mine.
And that is the hard part to swallow. It's jealousy, as much as they don't want to admit it. Which makes me sad. I hate jealousy. I hate when I see it consuming people, little or a lot. It doesn't matter how much it is, because the end result is the same. Resentment.
So this person has disguised their jealousy and resentment with distrustfulness, because that is easier to accept. Rather than the truth. Which really peeves me off. Such a small comment, yet such a window into their mind and the way they think.
I'm a very honest person. So for someone to believe, and suggest even in a joking way, of me being manipulative and lying to get out of a situation, out of an event? Me, party person, always busy wanting to go out and do stuff?
Bull crap.
It soooooo gets to me. Like really truly. And I hate the way I'm now looking at my superior. I'm extra aware of our interactions, and just this morning when I looked up to say something, I saw them looking at me in an odd observational way. Sussing me out.
I hate it. Hate, hate, hate it. I can feel the jealousy and the scrutiny, and I need to set them straight, via my incredible subtle powers!
Because they're my superior, and I can't just come out and say it. Because of just that word. 'Superior.'
Annoying.
Sigh. Why are people so complicated?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Bridal Shower presents and Matron-of-Honour stuff....
Well the conclusion to my whole "will there or won't there be an appropriately priced gift left on the bridal shower registry" saga is, YES, there was a few gifts left!
I put a few items together, to add up to the approximate total that my bestie and I were intending on spending... and pleasantly enough when I purchased the items they were LESS than I thought. However our sister's friend, the recipient, won't know we got the items on sale, and will assume we got them at full price.
Cool, huh? Yet I still feel slightly guilty, thinking, "oh gee, if only she knew!"
The other bit of information that put me in a super-duper GREASH FLANTASTIC mood yesterday afternoon was a conversation that occurred with my bestie during the bridal shower.
We were much too wrapped up in talk of watching the midnight premiere of New Moon at the cinemas when it comes out, as well as random offerings of wedding talk on her part, which is nothing surprising, seeing as a lot of close family and friends suspect she will get engaged soon, only how soon we don't know. And her boyfriend is constantly hinting at things, like engagement rings and proposals, but simultaneously promising her that he will shock her with the way he does it.
So in amongst all this wedding talk, of what style of ring she wants, and what colour dresses her bridal party will have (ah, such girls, planning weddings that don't even have a set date yet! - royal purple, by the way :) )she told me that because I'm married, rather than put me as a bridesmaid and have me paired up with a guy when I already have a hubbie, she's going to place me as matron-of-honour!
I was soooo excited! But a bit unsure of what to say. I mean, it's not an official invitation yet, because she isn't getting married, but then again it's a promise of what's to come, and what's to come looks awesome!
I've only been flower girl before, so the thought of being an ADULT in a grown up bridal party role, that I will be able to remember (when you're a kid things just wizz by you) is super-exciting! But I can't get too excited, I wanna save it for when the day really comes.
But I'm also so touched. I mean, with the family and friends that I have around me, a lot of them don't generally do the matron-of-honour thing, just because it's not customary in their religion/tradition. My sister had one for her wedding. And I just recently had my sister as MY matron-of-honour, because she was married and I so desperately wanted her part of my big day, in an official way. However, I know how it is, because there were some amongst my entourage that questioned my choice, wondering why you would have a married woman in your bridal party, simply assuming that bridal parties were only for unmarried people. When you need to explain to someone the role of a matron-of-honour, especially in our modern day and age, it feels like we haven't moved forward much in society and the world as a whole. Some people are that closed-minded that they don't see the world for all the possibilities out there, rather they assume that what they know and what they have lived is the only way. And that shits me. And shitted me, mostly during my getting-married period.
So I know it may be similar for my bestie. My experience may be similar to hers when she begins planning her wedding. And despite that, she is still willing to create a 'role' for me, despite how unorthodox it may be in her traditions, and despite the questions she may receive. That's how much she wants me as a part of her day.
Now that's what you call friendship :)
Now I just need her boyfriend to propose soon. I wanna be a matron-of-honour!
I put a few items together, to add up to the approximate total that my bestie and I were intending on spending... and pleasantly enough when I purchased the items they were LESS than I thought. However our sister's friend, the recipient, won't know we got the items on sale, and will assume we got them at full price.
Cool, huh? Yet I still feel slightly guilty, thinking, "oh gee, if only she knew!"
The other bit of information that put me in a super-duper GREASH FLANTASTIC mood yesterday afternoon was a conversation that occurred with my bestie during the bridal shower.
We were much too wrapped up in talk of watching the midnight premiere of New Moon at the cinemas when it comes out, as well as random offerings of wedding talk on her part, which is nothing surprising, seeing as a lot of close family and friends suspect she will get engaged soon, only how soon we don't know. And her boyfriend is constantly hinting at things, like engagement rings and proposals, but simultaneously promising her that he will shock her with the way he does it.
So in amongst all this wedding talk, of what style of ring she wants, and what colour dresses her bridal party will have (ah, such girls, planning weddings that don't even have a set date yet! - royal purple, by the way :) )she told me that because I'm married, rather than put me as a bridesmaid and have me paired up with a guy when I already have a hubbie, she's going to place me as matron-of-honour!
I was soooo excited! But a bit unsure of what to say. I mean, it's not an official invitation yet, because she isn't getting married, but then again it's a promise of what's to come, and what's to come looks awesome!
I've only been flower girl before, so the thought of being an ADULT in a grown up bridal party role, that I will be able to remember (when you're a kid things just wizz by you) is super-exciting! But I can't get too excited, I wanna save it for when the day really comes.
But I'm also so touched. I mean, with the family and friends that I have around me, a lot of them don't generally do the matron-of-honour thing, just because it's not customary in their religion/tradition. My sister had one for her wedding. And I just recently had my sister as MY matron-of-honour, because she was married and I so desperately wanted her part of my big day, in an official way. However, I know how it is, because there were some amongst my entourage that questioned my choice, wondering why you would have a married woman in your bridal party, simply assuming that bridal parties were only for unmarried people. When you need to explain to someone the role of a matron-of-honour, especially in our modern day and age, it feels like we haven't moved forward much in society and the world as a whole. Some people are that closed-minded that they don't see the world for all the possibilities out there, rather they assume that what they know and what they have lived is the only way. And that shits me. And shitted me, mostly during my getting-married period.
So I know it may be similar for my bestie. My experience may be similar to hers when she begins planning her wedding. And despite that, she is still willing to create a 'role' for me, despite how unorthodox it may be in her traditions, and despite the questions she may receive. That's how much she wants me as a part of her day.
Now that's what you call friendship :)
Now I just need her boyfriend to propose soon. I wanna be a matron-of-honour!
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