I have a bridal shower on the weekend. It's one of my closest friends sister who is getting married, and although I knew from over a month ago that I was attending the shower, I've failed to do the one thing I swore that I would do immediately: that is, buy a gift from the registry.
I know how these things go. Hey, I've gone through it myself just recently. When you're having a shower prior to your wedding, and you've set up a registry in order to receive gifts that you and your partner want, and to ease the buying angst for your guests, you still end up with countless problems.
How many presents should I place on the registry?
How much should they be priced?
Should I put more expensive items, or more cheaper items?
What if I can't find any normal priced items I want?
What's normal??????????????
AHHHH! So glad it's over for me. And then you have people, calling you up and saying "what should I get you?"
Um. The registry. Look on it. I've made a registry, because..... I want those items. Duh.
But their excuse is "I've had a look and there's nothing good."
Hmmmmm. Nothing good. To them, apparently, there's nothing good, but they fail to realise that if it's on the list, it must be what you want. So that tells me it's something else all together.
It's nothing to do with their approval of the products you've placed on your list. It's all about the right price. No one is actually willing to say that bit, but if the price fits, then the present is GREAT. Your relationship suddenly gets a price tag. What they feel about you is reduced to a price: the mental map of it goes something like this.....
"So she's my friend, but I don't see her often.... but I have known her for 10 years, and she's funny, yeah I like her...... what did she get me for my birthday last year..... oh right I didn't call her..... hmmmm.... I'll spend $50 bucks."
And everyone does it. Which is why yuor closest spend the highest amounts, and the not so lose spend.....moderate amounts.
Which leads me to today. The shower is on Sunday, and today after work I'm planning on going straight to the store to check out the registry. I was messaging my best friend this morning on the way to work (not the one whose sister is getting married) and she was asking me if I've bought anything for the shower yet. She said she had a look at the registry and that there's not much there (!) and there's only really expensive items.
ALERT ALERT ALERT went off in my head. Oh no. Now I'm one of those people. Left desperate and present-less only days before the shower. I suggested we all chip in together to buy an expensive present, and she agreed, saying her own sister will be chipping in too. Which leaves me praying really hard that tonight I find an "appropriate present" one that's GREAT! (= the correct $$$$$)
But then a thought came to my head. What if the only presents left were as my bestie had said, "really expensive?" I couldn't justify spending a huge amount, likewise I don't think I could convince my friends to help me out with the present if it was too much. She IS our bestie's sister. But exactly that, HER sister. She's not our bestie. And you need to keep money for yourself. Thngs are expensive, and ....... Yes I know excuses, excuses. Now I'M the one placing a price tag on our relationship.
Then I remembered. My wedding presents.
I know, I feel bad. Just the thought of re-wrapping presents I received for my wedding makes me feel bad, let alone doing it, but for our wedding, we got a few things that we'd already received at my bridal shower. These were from people who weren't at my shower clearly, so they weren't to know that I'd already received like-presents.
What I can picture right now in my head is The Blender. A good brand, modern blender, that we received as a wedding gift. When in fact we'd already received a blender, one we picked out ourselves for my shower.
We have two great blenders. One open, out of the box, and one still packaged up, the one which is THE double.
And I'm thinking....... maybe the the double blender.... being the double and everything... and being totally GREAT..... would be valued at the about price.... we were thinking of spending.... and being a wedding present.... my friends sister the maybe-recipient of the double blender.... wouldn't have seen it at the shower because we're not giving away the shower blender, we're giving away the double!
Ok, that just assumes we ARE giving it when in fact I haven't even concurred with my bestie, and I haven't even seen yet what is part of the registry. But what if we just give her the blender? We would save money, in fact we'd save all our money because we wouldn't be spending any on a gift!
But the question arises: does she want a blender? That blender in particular? The variety of choices these days leaves one open to a multitude of possibilities.
And what if, shock horror, she already chose a blender for her registry, it has been purchased, and because of it's purchased-ness, the registry fails to show it.... and we turn up with a........ double blender for her.
And a year from now she'll be in my situation. Late in buying a bridal shower present, and contemplating giving my double-blender which is now HER double-blender (would that make it a triple blender?) to some unsuspecting triple blender receiver.
The cycle of blender-ness. Hey, it's not that bad. It could be a toaster.
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