....which is why I haven't been around to blog for AGES. I had 2 weeks leave, which I came back to work from yesterday. It was so nice. I tell ya, there are things you just don't do when you're working. No matter how much you will yourself to do things, and tell yourself you'll do it when you get home, once you're home, full of food and sitting on the couch, those little odd jobs just DON'T HAPPEN. And they pile up too.
So during my little hols, I got them ALL done. Well, bar one (the one involving organising all our home DVDs and labelling them and then putting them in this really cute box I have!) but still, almost ALL done. Including teaching myself how to sew buttons back onto my tops/dresses. I know! Legend! :-D
The best thing about it was, as well as get all those little-itty-bitty things done, the holiday felt REALLY long, in a good way.
So much so that when I came in to work yesterday, I felt like I'd been away forever. Things felt different. They looked different, maybe due to the fact that the maintenance people here did manage to move stuff around in my absence, freaking me out upon my return into our department. But more importantly, I felt different. I just had this weird sense, that I was over it. I was ready. This voice inside me said "you have to get out of here." Which is ironic considering I had wanted to be in this place for so long before. But clearly, there was now something else pulling me away.
The writing.
Look, it may have been a bad case of Monday-itis. The whole returning to work after leave thing, can leave you feeling rather down. Maybe it was the fact that the furniture had moved, my notes were missing, or the fact that no-show boy when walking in said "Welcome back to hell."
Nice huh?
Maybe it was his partially subdued depressive angst at seeing my still-wavering happiness at having been away.
Maybe it was Kitty, once again, proving her will against mine in a work-related discussion, and in her narrow-mindedness, refusing to see any view but her own, therefore insulting my intelligence with her ignorance.
Maybe it was Densley's absence, as after all, he is the rock in our little family.
But today, I'm still having that lingering feeling. It's as if I've learnt something during my time away, and now that I have this knowledge, there's something in me saying it's time to move on. I don't know what it is. It's really hard to put my finger on it.
Maybe it's the fact that my grand-daddy boss told me so long ago, that he wanted me to keep learning, in order to become somewhat of an 'understudy' for my boss. Perhaps that knowledge is making me tense, keeping me under pressure, and willing me to move on. I'm instinct-ed to flight, rather than fight.
So many answers to my question, yet none seem to fit.
However, me seems to think something else.
Since I have officially decided on my future path, that of a writer, I have been following through on my resolution by reading books about writing fiction, figuring out my story ideas and characters, as well as writing out a reading list, which I will no doubt add to throughout the year (which I will put up on my blog shortly), in order to improve on my writing skills/techniques/foundations, and all these little changes, however unsignificant at this early stage, yet still influential in the road I will ultimately take, are already in effect and changing my future. That's why I feel out of place right now. Because I'm in the midst of travelling to another place already.
I know. Trippy stuff.
You know what? I'm not hanging shit on no-show boy anymore, with his too-often breaks at work, arriving late yet leaving the same time as everyone else. Not only has he improved considerably in his attendance and work ethic, but this morning he agreed with me that Kitty's arguments against mine yesterday were immature and stupid.
So if he does anything now to contradict his gradual move towards good work employee record, I will make sure I have my rose-coloured glasses on first, so as not to pass judgement. :)
Anywho, this started as about me, right?
I told Hubbie last night "If anything, that voice that told me today that I need to get out of there, that's gonna motivate me even MORE to be a successful writer."
"Then do it." With a glint of 'show me' in his eyes.
You bet I will.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
New Year, New Decade
Oh wow. Just as I'm writing this, Hubbie and mine's first song, is on tv. It's our song well and truly, amongst others. This song came out in about July 2000, right before we started going out. 10 years ago. Well 11 now.
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
How appropriate, that it come on, as I start a post about the last year, last decade, and try to determine what the future holds.
WOW. What memories. I've just been taken back.
So, in the last year, there have been some changes, some growth within my life. Hubbie and I purchased a block of land. We made 1 year of marriage (!) which is a celebration in itself, LOL.
Work wise, I've developed substantially, gradually taking on more and more responsibility in my bosses absences. To the point that my bosses boss, says to me "I want you to keep learning, keep asking questions.... so that you may become like her..... understudy."
Shit. Those are big shoes to fill. I gratefully accept the compliments and the belief in my abilities, as to where it all leads, I guess we'll just have to wait and see:)
Relationship wise: as mentioned Hubbie and I made one year. Which sort of pales in comparison to the 10 years we've already been together, but marriage brings about different challenges that can't be experienced in a partnership where you don't live together. Marriage is wonderful, and it's awesome to be your own bosses: eat what you like, get up and go to sleep whenever. If you're cold, put the heater on! They sound like basic things I know, but don't forget the entertaining, the visitors, the parties, the going out. And with all of that comes massive compromise, and that's why marriage is different. Everything is shared, everything is part of you. His family is mine, and my family is his. There are disagreements, arguments, tears and outbursts. There's a bit of getting used to.
But after all of that? Despite the differences, the opposites in behaviour, the coming together of personalities, we are essentially the same people, and love the same things, and want the same things. That helps SOOO much. And last night, lying in bed, as his arm was outstretched over my body, my free hand on his shoulder as my other hand held the open book to read, I thought of how much I loved him. Despite the differences, despite families, despite EVERYTHING, I thought of how much I love him, how much MORE I love him after 10 years. And that tells me everything. Love grows and feeds off of itself. It develops into something so deep, that trivial crap, and itty-bitty bullshit, just doesn't even gain a speck on its radar. It's beyond anything comprehensible. We have so much of it within us, and when we emit it, it comes back to us two-fold, which is an incredible feeling.
So Hubbie and I are good:)
Family and Friends: Yes and yes, but sometimes no. Reading back on any of my blogs over the last year, you could not say that I have the most positive views on some family members, friends and people I know. But you know what, it's not a perfect world, there are no 'perfect' families and with the amount of differing personalities out there, it's impossible for all of us to get along. Having said that, I've learnt that you need to sometimes turn a blind eye, not look too much into things, and also as I mentioned in my "Christmas Wishes" post, wish the person who upsets you most, well. People who I couldn't stand, who I was extrememly disappointed in and let down by, I now feel differently about. I've accepted them as human, not perfect, and clearly with faults, like you, me and everyone else. I've zoned in on the positive, and really, that works. It's helped me so much, and I believe my negative downward spiral of unhappy family/friend realtionships have actually come to an end. Maybe even with Mouth and Moody. OMG. I know, incredible right?
Other fabulous news-worthy items: collingwood won, I saw George Michael and Hubbie and I holidayed in the sunshine state. There are so many more things, but I wanted this post to be future-oriented, rather than concerned with the past.
Having said that, I must look back on this last decade, just quickly :)
I get a very nervous feeling when I think that, because I know what's coming: this last decade, I went from an unattached 16 going on 17 year-old, to a girl going out with a guy who would later become her husband. How wonderful and weird this world is:) I finished high school, started and finished uni, had about 5 jobs until I found my current full-time one. Got married following a mammoth wedding, travelled through a good portion of Europe, and am now living contently a year and a half later.
So when I think of the next 10 years, the next decade, and wonder what my thoughts will be on the last 10 years, THEN, nervous tension bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I know it will involve a new home, expansion of family, friends getting married, and more kids, EVERYWHERE.
I guess change is always scary. Gosh I feel like crying now. I don't know what it is. Sometimes we're so comfortable where we are, that we don't want to move forward, we want to stay stationary in a moment in time. That's how I felt last night. As I've said quite regularly, I'm in a selfish phase of life. It's all about me, and Hubbie. My Hubbie, my life, my job, my car, my clothes, my friends, my family. Me me me. The thought of that changing freaks me out. I know how much I value myself and my life, and so I know that my attention shifting to something else, is something so foreign and almost unnatural, that I think that is what is really freaking me out. The changing of values, lifestyle.
You know what? I don't think it's good to look too far into the future. It can be scary. You don't know what to expect, and how things will transpire.
Not knowing is terrifying. But again as I say that, I am suddenly reminded of myself at the end of the last decade. Knowing all that I do now, having achieved so much academically, professionally, having a loving husband and wonderful family and friends, on our way to building a home, well! Telling my 16 year old self then, she would have freaked to find out so much! But having lived through it, step by step, it wasn't so scary. Interesting, challenging and life-evolving, that's what it was. It's life, it's growth and it's perfectly natural. You take each day at a time, and see where it leads you.
Which is why we do resolutions for a year ahead. It's less confronting:)
So I'm taking a deep breath and now focusing on the year ahead!
I took a peek at my resolutions from the past year, half cringing because I'd half forgotten them, but having re-read them I was pleasantly surprised:
1. To increase my Vitamin D intake by sitting in the sun more ( I love doing it anyway! ) and eating foods that are rich in the vitamin.
So yes lately especially, I've been in the sun heaps, to the point that Hubbie called me something not so nice as a joke in response to my darkened state. I took it as a compliment:) I have it all worked out: in spring and summer I get natural Vit D from the sun, in autumn/winter I take my Vit D supplements. As for the foods rich in Vit D, I try, when I can, but because the food sources are so scarce, I don't stress myself out over them.
2. To decrease arm fat.
Hmmm. So recently actually, I've started running around with Hubbie as he trains for, plays basketball. I think all the shooting and passing of the ball is helping, however until just recently I was quite slack in the department of decreasing arm fat, I didn't really do much. I'm hoping the new year will change that. Look, I don't have a fat arm problem, but I strive for perfection, as dangeous as that pursuit is.
3. To generally get more toned, in particular to target my tummy and reduce the fat there.
As per above comments. I haven't done much exercise to target that, but all the housework and busy lifestyle have helped me, somehow. Which is great.
4. To read more.
So this I have done more of. And I continue to do more of, given my upcoming 2011 resolutions. Read on.
2011 Resolutions
1. To read, HEAPS more. In fact, I want to set up some sort of column/box within my blogger page, so that I can list the books I wanna read and then so to speak 'tick' them off when I do. Seeing it everytime I log into blogger will help me be more aware of it too. I want to read more to help my writing as well (see below resolution), as I want to be more aware of different writing styles, different authors, different stories. I want to know so much, the need to read and research is so great within me right now.
2. To complete my first book by the end of the year. By complete I mean finish writing to my satisfactory standard, so that I can start promoting it to agents, or however it goes. As nervous as I get when I think of it, I think it is a realistic goal. One story, one year. I'm sure some would think I've given myself too much time even, however what I want to do is start something big, and I need the proper research, planning and education to get it right off the bat, so that when I continue with my following books, it all flows perfectly and effortlessly.
3. To get fit. Whether it's playing basketball with Hubbie, taking on yoga, or just getting into long walks/runs, I really want to make it a part of my life. I make health-oriented goals each year, and I know that with some of them, I do somewhat succeed, but others are just a waste of written space. I don't want that to be the case this year. I really want to make an effort of it. And seeing myself in my mind, with the body I want, is motivation enough.
4. To improve all my relationships, full-stop. To not sweat the small stuff, which will be assisted by the Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" daily calendar Red bought me for chrissy. To relax, not worry, see the postive in everyone and all things. To wish the people that annoy me, well, and MEAN it.
5. To continue on my path of spiritual growth and self-development. To keep reading books on bettering myself and my life, and to continue striving toward my dreams.
6. To enjoy life. Just the other day I said to Hubbie, "I want to enjoy our city; go out for coffee, walk through parks, just go out." It doesn't have to break the bank. Often the simplest things are the most rewarding. Taking a walk along the beach; eating an ice cream; sitting on a park bench. I want to observe, absorb, feel and create. I want to feel the sun on my face, be a part of life, experience all that is to offer. I want to live every day of my life. Because that's what we're here to do.
So, those are my dreams for the coming year. And being in the frame of mind that I am, I think I will do quite well (just between you and me:))
Remember: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Happy new year, Happy New Decade :-D
Thursday, December 30, 2010
My old-man crush :)
Gosh this is even slightly embarrassing to admit, but I shouldn't be embarrassed. No, I think a lot of women out there would agree with me.
Yeah, 60 year old women.
So I've been catching more and more episodes lately of The Rockford Files: the main actor being none other than James Garner.
The other day I watched an ep where James' character, Jim Rockford, falls for a woman who he later finds out is blind. He still pursues her, and helps her in finding out who her stalker is. All this happens over a two-part episode, filled with lots of action, suspense and romance of course.
I think this is the first time I'd seen Jim Rockford in a romantic relationship on the show. Funnily enough, because of my work, I'd seen a movie James Garner starred in just last week, where he acts alongside Sally Field in 'Murphy's Romance.' Here he plays an older man to Sally Field's character, perhaps 20 years her senior, where they end up falling in love, after she goes through a failed marriage, and he is left widowed.
When I was watching the movie, I found myself oddly drawn to the romance between the two. I was curious about the age difference, and via IMDB (the most fabulous site of all), discovered he was about 20 years older than her when the movie was filmed. Not only was I drawn to their romance, I felt an odd urge towards Garner. Yes he was almost 60 at the time of the movie. However, in his warm and comforting, supportive, caring and nurturing older man role, I found myself liking him, more and more. It was so weird and unexpected, that due to his age, I didn't know how to justify my feelings.
I also discovered via greatest movie site of all, that he was now 82, and that during the time of The Rockford Files, he was in his late-40s.
So the other day, watching the ep where Jim was head over heels for this blind woman, something about seeing him in a romantic relationship made me curious. Again. I can't really explain how it was, only that I came to thinking 'hey, I REALLY like this show.' I soon after spoke to a work colleague about it, and she cheekily admitted that growing up, she had had a crush on Jim Rockford, as played by James.
That's when my lightbulb went on, and in the faint background the angels were humming 'ahhhhhh.' I realised, I TOO had a slight crush on him! I just hadn't noticed it, or certainly expected it, because he was so much older now, and the show was filmed 30-ish years ago! And even then he was too old for me!
I started thinking: what was it? He was tall, dark, and handsome: the embodiment of the perfect 'IT' man. He definitely would have been even more attractive in his younger years. His cheeky personality in the show, coupled with strong determination, ability to get through most sticky situations, and witty sarcasm, made him interestingly appealing. There was just something there. Even his humble, somewhat goofy-at-times persona, made him more down-to-earth, more personable. It made me like the MAN, behind the CHARACTER, even MORE.
My sudden fascination with James Garner reminded me of similar screen affairs: that with James Dean and Paul Newman. I've been a fan of Dean's for years now, and I can never quite get over the incredible power he held, and still holds today, over movie-lovers and fellow screen actors; and he only ever made three films. REMARKABLE. I guess that with the fact that he died young, makes it easy to love the image, as we never did see him grow old.
With Paul Newman it was quite a different story: I watched a documentary of his life back when he was still alive, and fell in love with his back story. I was dumbfounded by how stunning he was in the peak of his youth, and even made the proclamation that he was better looking than James Dean; that's a huge statement from me, considering my extreme appreciation of Dean. There is a photograph I came upon of Newman and Dean, standing side-by-side, a screen shot for a movie that didn't eventuate with the two of them, and it is a photo that I really want to find, enlarge and frame. Two of the finest actors, looking ever so fine.
Although I haven't watched many of Newman's flicks, I was drawn in to him by his background, his movie choices and his life, finding him so inspiring to learn about. I was saddened to hear of his death when it happened, and pondered that despite his older age he was still taken too soon. Like Garner, having seen Newman in his old age, it was weird to be so attracted to him as his younger self, however when you see something good, you appreciate it and are drawn to it. You respect it, and where it came from.
So with all this going around in my head, I decided to search for some images of Garner, to see how he looked like in his hey-day. It was driving me slightly crazy, having this sudden obsession with him and not knowing why. I mean, I DID know why: all the before-mentioned characteristics of handsome, goofy, relatable, blah blah blah. But I'd never really been one for OLDER men if you know what I mean, and this guy was WAAAYYY older.
As I had read from Garner's IMDB page that he was friends with Newman, I decided to look for a photo of the 2 of them together. I typed "Paul Newman and James Garner," in google and clicked search images.
I had searches come up, but none of the images seemed to contain the two in a photo together. I scanned through the images and stopped at one rather quickly.
It contained a photo of James Garner, side by side with a photo of..... David Boreanaz.
Sigh.
My love affair with Angel. As you can tell, my desire for him began with his role in Buffy, as Angel, and continued well into the show of the same name. And continues, as I believe that he is the best-looking man on tv, EVER (until I watched the series October Road, and my unfaltering dedication wavered slightly due to Bryan Greenberg).
So, to then come across a photo where they have placed David's face next to James', well let's just say it got my attention.
The link took me to a blog, that explained that a newspaper article had compared the incredible similarities between the stars of yester-year, against the screen stars of today. The intention was to suggest that we get the same sort of look in each generation.
Check it out here:
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://stokedasagoat.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/garner_boreanaz.jpg%3Fw%3D500%26h%3D375&imgrefurl=http://stokedasagoat.wordpress.com/&usg=__WC7zlhxZ4TWutYSJtGJEP4e7jrE=&h=375&w=500&sz=90&hl=en&start=10&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=acnqvDwu0q5s9M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpaul%2Bnewman%2Band%2Bjames%2Bgarner%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1
It showed the similarities between Brad Pitt and Robert Redford, George Clooney as the new Cary Grant, and lo and behold................
David Boreanaz as an almost splitting image of James Garner.
I get it now! I get it! I get WHY I had this unexplainable pull, this urge and curiosity towards Garner, all the while knowing full well how much older he was...... because he looks like Boreanaz!
Or rather, Boreanaz looks like Garner:) Yes, you gotta pay tribute to the original, and appreciate where all good things began....
Thanks Garner. You're awesome. And yes hot, there I said it.
Side note: this specific link came up because also, at the end of the article, Matthew McConaughey was named as the new.... Paul Newman. Eh. Really? You decide for yourself.
Yeah, 60 year old women.
So I've been catching more and more episodes lately of The Rockford Files: the main actor being none other than James Garner.
The other day I watched an ep where James' character, Jim Rockford, falls for a woman who he later finds out is blind. He still pursues her, and helps her in finding out who her stalker is. All this happens over a two-part episode, filled with lots of action, suspense and romance of course.
I think this is the first time I'd seen Jim Rockford in a romantic relationship on the show. Funnily enough, because of my work, I'd seen a movie James Garner starred in just last week, where he acts alongside Sally Field in 'Murphy's Romance.' Here he plays an older man to Sally Field's character, perhaps 20 years her senior, where they end up falling in love, after she goes through a failed marriage, and he is left widowed.
When I was watching the movie, I found myself oddly drawn to the romance between the two. I was curious about the age difference, and via IMDB (the most fabulous site of all), discovered he was about 20 years older than her when the movie was filmed. Not only was I drawn to their romance, I felt an odd urge towards Garner. Yes he was almost 60 at the time of the movie. However, in his warm and comforting, supportive, caring and nurturing older man role, I found myself liking him, more and more. It was so weird and unexpected, that due to his age, I didn't know how to justify my feelings.
I also discovered via greatest movie site of all, that he was now 82, and that during the time of The Rockford Files, he was in his late-40s.
So the other day, watching the ep where Jim was head over heels for this blind woman, something about seeing him in a romantic relationship made me curious. Again. I can't really explain how it was, only that I came to thinking 'hey, I REALLY like this show.' I soon after spoke to a work colleague about it, and she cheekily admitted that growing up, she had had a crush on Jim Rockford, as played by James.
That's when my lightbulb went on, and in the faint background the angels were humming 'ahhhhhh.' I realised, I TOO had a slight crush on him! I just hadn't noticed it, or certainly expected it, because he was so much older now, and the show was filmed 30-ish years ago! And even then he was too old for me!
I started thinking: what was it? He was tall, dark, and handsome: the embodiment of the perfect 'IT' man. He definitely would have been even more attractive in his younger years. His cheeky personality in the show, coupled with strong determination, ability to get through most sticky situations, and witty sarcasm, made him interestingly appealing. There was just something there. Even his humble, somewhat goofy-at-times persona, made him more down-to-earth, more personable. It made me like the MAN, behind the CHARACTER, even MORE.
My sudden fascination with James Garner reminded me of similar screen affairs: that with James Dean and Paul Newman. I've been a fan of Dean's for years now, and I can never quite get over the incredible power he held, and still holds today, over movie-lovers and fellow screen actors; and he only ever made three films. REMARKABLE. I guess that with the fact that he died young, makes it easy to love the image, as we never did see him grow old.
With Paul Newman it was quite a different story: I watched a documentary of his life back when he was still alive, and fell in love with his back story. I was dumbfounded by how stunning he was in the peak of his youth, and even made the proclamation that he was better looking than James Dean; that's a huge statement from me, considering my extreme appreciation of Dean. There is a photograph I came upon of Newman and Dean, standing side-by-side, a screen shot for a movie that didn't eventuate with the two of them, and it is a photo that I really want to find, enlarge and frame. Two of the finest actors, looking ever so fine.
Although I haven't watched many of Newman's flicks, I was drawn in to him by his background, his movie choices and his life, finding him so inspiring to learn about. I was saddened to hear of his death when it happened, and pondered that despite his older age he was still taken too soon. Like Garner, having seen Newman in his old age, it was weird to be so attracted to him as his younger self, however when you see something good, you appreciate it and are drawn to it. You respect it, and where it came from.
So with all this going around in my head, I decided to search for some images of Garner, to see how he looked like in his hey-day. It was driving me slightly crazy, having this sudden obsession with him and not knowing why. I mean, I DID know why: all the before-mentioned characteristics of handsome, goofy, relatable, blah blah blah. But I'd never really been one for OLDER men if you know what I mean, and this guy was WAAAYYY older.
As I had read from Garner's IMDB page that he was friends with Newman, I decided to look for a photo of the 2 of them together. I typed "Paul Newman and James Garner," in google and clicked search images.
I had searches come up, but none of the images seemed to contain the two in a photo together. I scanned through the images and stopped at one rather quickly.
It contained a photo of James Garner, side by side with a photo of..... David Boreanaz.
Sigh.
My love affair with Angel. As you can tell, my desire for him began with his role in Buffy, as Angel, and continued well into the show of the same name. And continues, as I believe that he is the best-looking man on tv, EVER (until I watched the series October Road, and my unfaltering dedication wavered slightly due to Bryan Greenberg).
So, to then come across a photo where they have placed David's face next to James', well let's just say it got my attention.
The link took me to a blog, that explained that a newspaper article had compared the incredible similarities between the stars of yester-year, against the screen stars of today. The intention was to suggest that we get the same sort of look in each generation.
Check it out here:
http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://stokedasagoat.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/garner_boreanaz.jpg%3Fw%3D500%26h%3D375&imgrefurl=http://stokedasagoat.wordpress.com/&usg=__WC7zlhxZ4TWutYSJtGJEP4e7jrE=&h=375&w=500&sz=90&hl=en&start=10&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=acnqvDwu0q5s9M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpaul%2Bnewman%2Band%2Bjames%2Bgarner%26hl%3Den%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1
It showed the similarities between Brad Pitt and Robert Redford, George Clooney as the new Cary Grant, and lo and behold................
David Boreanaz as an almost splitting image of James Garner.
I get it now! I get it! I get WHY I had this unexplainable pull, this urge and curiosity towards Garner, all the while knowing full well how much older he was...... because he looks like Boreanaz!
Or rather, Boreanaz looks like Garner:) Yes, you gotta pay tribute to the original, and appreciate where all good things began....
Thanks Garner. You're awesome. And yes hot, there I said it.
Side note: this specific link came up because also, at the end of the article, Matthew McConaughey was named as the new.... Paul Newman. Eh. Really? You decide for yourself.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Christmas wishes
Christmas was full of love, happiness, presents, and HEAPS of food and drink, as per usual.
A few things have made me think differently. Change the way I view things, shift my perspective on what irritates me.
As I walked to work early on Christmas Eve, every person I passed, or who walked by me, I wished a great day.
This is how it was in my head:
"I wish you a wonderful day. And you and you. I wish you a great day, I wish you a great day, and you and you....."
and so forth. I don't know, I guess the spirit of the season awakened within me some outpouring of kindness. Not to say I'm not a nice person, but I've never really thought anything like that. I genuinely wished good things for the people around me, from one human being to the next. We are all so different, yet exactly the same.
And so, as Christmas day was drawing to a close, I thought of a few things. I pondered the people who had upset me recently, and also in the last year. And seriously, driving home, I specifically spoke out loud in my head:
"I thank all those who have upset me in the last year. I thank you because you have made me stronger, you have provided me with the challenge to grow as a person, and to discover the alternatives in life to handling people like you. To all of you, I wish you the best."
And I think I meant it.
It's so easy to get upset at others and blame them when there is a problem, rather than to try look at them as a human being. I think that's when we are at our worst; we are lowering that person to something less than a human so that when we put them down, either out loud or in our minds, it is done so more easily. But when we remind ourselves that they have their own issues, and they are reacting the only way they know how, or just because they don't know any better, that changes things. We soften bit, and lower our raging thoughts. And think, 'oh.'
Not to say that you should feel sorry for or pity everyone. That isn't cool, acting superior over others. And not to say you can't get upset. That's a very real and normal emotion too. Just remember we are all human, and if someone upsets you, wish them the best. It changes the dynamic of emotions, and puts you in control of how you feel. That's the best you can do.
Merry Christmas :-D
A few things have made me think differently. Change the way I view things, shift my perspective on what irritates me.
As I walked to work early on Christmas Eve, every person I passed, or who walked by me, I wished a great day.
This is how it was in my head:
"I wish you a wonderful day. And you and you. I wish you a great day, I wish you a great day, and you and you....."
and so forth. I don't know, I guess the spirit of the season awakened within me some outpouring of kindness. Not to say I'm not a nice person, but I've never really thought anything like that. I genuinely wished good things for the people around me, from one human being to the next. We are all so different, yet exactly the same.
And so, as Christmas day was drawing to a close, I thought of a few things. I pondered the people who had upset me recently, and also in the last year. And seriously, driving home, I specifically spoke out loud in my head:
"I thank all those who have upset me in the last year. I thank you because you have made me stronger, you have provided me with the challenge to grow as a person, and to discover the alternatives in life to handling people like you. To all of you, I wish you the best."
And I think I meant it.
It's so easy to get upset at others and blame them when there is a problem, rather than to try look at them as a human being. I think that's when we are at our worst; we are lowering that person to something less than a human so that when we put them down, either out loud or in our minds, it is done so more easily. But when we remind ourselves that they have their own issues, and they are reacting the only way they know how, or just because they don't know any better, that changes things. We soften bit, and lower our raging thoughts. And think, 'oh.'
Not to say that you should feel sorry for or pity everyone. That isn't cool, acting superior over others. And not to say you can't get upset. That's a very real and normal emotion too. Just remember we are all human, and if someone upsets you, wish them the best. It changes the dynamic of emotions, and puts you in control of how you feel. That's the best you can do.
Merry Christmas :-D
Friday, December 24, 2010
Eat 4 Ur Health
A couple days ago, written on my hand was this:
EAT
4 UR
HEA+LTH
Following a MASSIVE binge on chocolatey goodies. Maybe small for some, but big for me. I'm reminding myself of impending Christmas treats, and reminding myself to BE GOOD now, to prepare for being BAD LATER.
Oh, and the + next to the A was just that: to make sure I got an A+ in Health.
Corny I know. That's me.
I succeeded in not over-indulging too much following that little mission statement, but alas, as the writing on my hand began to fade, so did my will to dedicate myself to the cause. I finished off a half-eaten toblerone yesterday people, and it was GOOD.
Today is Christmas Eve, and as usual I'm doing my usual fasting routine of no dairy, no meat products.
And suddenly everything forbidden is looking sooooo good to me.
EAT
4 UR
HEA+LTH
Following a MASSIVE binge on chocolatey goodies. Maybe small for some, but big for me. I'm reminding myself of impending Christmas treats, and reminding myself to BE GOOD now, to prepare for being BAD LATER.
Oh, and the + next to the A was just that: to make sure I got an A+ in Health.
Corny I know. That's me.
I succeeded in not over-indulging too much following that little mission statement, but alas, as the writing on my hand began to fade, so did my will to dedicate myself to the cause. I finished off a half-eaten toblerone yesterday people, and it was GOOD.
Today is Christmas Eve, and as usual I'm doing my usual fasting routine of no dairy, no meat products.
And suddenly everything forbidden is looking sooooo good to me.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
2 things
It's been a while since I last wrote about anything happening in my life, and a lot of that has to do with the busy-ness of the Chrissy season. I've been trying to get cards written and sent, presents bought and wrapped, as well as send some pretty packages to family, and Blonde, spending their Christmas' overseas.
All that combined with the boss having sudden surgery, and being slightly overwhelmed at work with the increased workload (merging not so nicely with the busiest time of year for us) and I haven't had much free time for anything else.
The two things that I can say are this:
* With the insect-spraying that Hubbie did weeks ago, (knock on wood) the appearance of spiders has dwindled to none - wait for it - instead being replaced by cockroaches. Yes indeed. It is so weird. Never has there been so many in our house in such a short period of time. And they're fast too, or so Hubbie says when he chases after them. See I just spray them, and spray, until they stop moving. He's the effective one.
* I had this weird dream 2 nights ago that I just had to mention. Really weird. So in the dream, I'm on a train. With me is Red, but also, a friend of mine's sister. I can't remember if the friend is there. I recently met her sister at a lingerie party I held at my place, but in this dream, the sister looks different, more like my friend than the sister. Confused? Ok I will call the friend B in lack of a better name, because I feel creatively challenged right now. So in the dream, B's sister looks more like B, and perhaps that has to do with a real-life convo I had with B where she mentioned her sisters. I've only met one you see, and perhaps my subconscious mind was creating an image of her.
Why all the talk of B's sister? Just wait. Also, Red was at this lingerie party, so they all saw each other there. She said to me later on, that B's sister looked familiar to her, but couldn't remember from where. Maybe this is why Red is also in the dream.
Anyway, in my dream, I have somewhat finished my book. Yes, my book which I intend on beginning to write in the New Year. I say somewhat finished because in the dream the book looked rather thin, and not only do I KNOW I can write way more than that, but I just had a sense in the dream that it was an unfinished rough copy. Nontheless it had a decent cover and all in the dream. And for some reason, the book has ended up in B's sisters hands.
She's flicked through the pages, unenthusiastically scanned the first few paragraphs, and made some remark about it. I don't know even know if she said something to be honest, it was just the vibe I got from her: she didn't like it. In that moment I remember thinking "what can I do? How can I make the beginning more engaging, more interesting?"
And that was about it really. The dream fascinates me because A) in it I have a rough copy of my book, and B) someone who I've met once, who seemed really nice, is critiquing my book in it! Maybe her name has something to do with it. Maybe the thing is, someone of her name, sharing the same name will critique my book, such as an editor..... perhaps. That's a big thing to look out for. My mum tends to say that the opposite happens in dreams.... so will the same-name person like it? I hope so:)
In the last few days I've been thinking of writing a hell of a lot more. A few things have happened lately to inspire me, and along with re-remembering my old childhood loves, in terms of movies and books, reading some inspirational messages from my "The Secret" subscription emails, and I guess just letting the thoughts and ideas run through my head, it's left me feeling really excited. Hubbie's Christmas card to me which I received this morning, contained a message along the lines of "may you reach your goals in the next year."
I loved it. Because I knew what he meant. Even though he considers a lot of my positive-thinking, dream-creating stuff a lot of mumbo-jumbo. He's still supporting me:)
All that combined with the boss having sudden surgery, and being slightly overwhelmed at work with the increased workload (merging not so nicely with the busiest time of year for us) and I haven't had much free time for anything else.
The two things that I can say are this:
* With the insect-spraying that Hubbie did weeks ago, (knock on wood) the appearance of spiders has dwindled to none - wait for it - instead being replaced by cockroaches. Yes indeed. It is so weird. Never has there been so many in our house in such a short period of time. And they're fast too, or so Hubbie says when he chases after them. See I just spray them, and spray, until they stop moving. He's the effective one.
* I had this weird dream 2 nights ago that I just had to mention. Really weird. So in the dream, I'm on a train. With me is Red, but also, a friend of mine's sister. I can't remember if the friend is there. I recently met her sister at a lingerie party I held at my place, but in this dream, the sister looks different, more like my friend than the sister. Confused? Ok I will call the friend B in lack of a better name, because I feel creatively challenged right now. So in the dream, B's sister looks more like B, and perhaps that has to do with a real-life convo I had with B where she mentioned her sisters. I've only met one you see, and perhaps my subconscious mind was creating an image of her.
Why all the talk of B's sister? Just wait. Also, Red was at this lingerie party, so they all saw each other there. She said to me later on, that B's sister looked familiar to her, but couldn't remember from where. Maybe this is why Red is also in the dream.
Anyway, in my dream, I have somewhat finished my book. Yes, my book which I intend on beginning to write in the New Year. I say somewhat finished because in the dream the book looked rather thin, and not only do I KNOW I can write way more than that, but I just had a sense in the dream that it was an unfinished rough copy. Nontheless it had a decent cover and all in the dream. And for some reason, the book has ended up in B's sisters hands.
She's flicked through the pages, unenthusiastically scanned the first few paragraphs, and made some remark about it. I don't know even know if she said something to be honest, it was just the vibe I got from her: she didn't like it. In that moment I remember thinking "what can I do? How can I make the beginning more engaging, more interesting?"
And that was about it really. The dream fascinates me because A) in it I have a rough copy of my book, and B) someone who I've met once, who seemed really nice, is critiquing my book in it! Maybe her name has something to do with it. Maybe the thing is, someone of her name, sharing the same name will critique my book, such as an editor..... perhaps. That's a big thing to look out for. My mum tends to say that the opposite happens in dreams.... so will the same-name person like it? I hope so:)
In the last few days I've been thinking of writing a hell of a lot more. A few things have happened lately to inspire me, and along with re-remembering my old childhood loves, in terms of movies and books, reading some inspirational messages from my "The Secret" subscription emails, and I guess just letting the thoughts and ideas run through my head, it's left me feeling really excited. Hubbie's Christmas card to me which I received this morning, contained a message along the lines of "may you reach your goals in the next year."
I loved it. Because I knew what he meant. Even though he considers a lot of my positive-thinking, dream-creating stuff a lot of mumbo-jumbo. He's still supporting me:)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Happiness Is.... #2
Happiness Is....
Discovering that one of my best friends, Blonde, has bought a 'star' (yes those in the night sky) for Hubbie and I, in our name. Dated on the day we got married.
Can't help but sigh. This is the stuff we shoot to the stars for. (giggle).
Honestly though, she moved me to tears. I feel utterly blessed to have the most amazing women in my life. Mum, Sis, Red and Blonde. My Women. My Inspiration.
Discovering that one of my best friends, Blonde, has bought a 'star' (yes those in the night sky) for Hubbie and I, in our name. Dated on the day we got married.
Can't help but sigh. This is the stuff we shoot to the stars for. (giggle).
Honestly though, she moved me to tears. I feel utterly blessed to have the most amazing women in my life. Mum, Sis, Red and Blonde. My Women. My Inspiration.
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