Happiness Is....
The best compliment of the year coming from a 9 year-old boy, my nephew. After all, you can't get any more honest than with kids, right?
Playing a game with him on his computer a couple of days ago, I was to help him combine elements to create something else. Hard to explain, but anyway, long story short, on my first go I said to him "pick this, and this."
He clicked both, and the combination of treeant came up. I had just fluked creating a treeant.
He gaped at the computer, turned to me and said in awe "You are epic."
I laughed so hard. That was absolutely, positively, the best thing I've heard in ages. Best compliment ever.
Still smiling now :)
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The 'But' Ones
WARNING WARNING WARNING.
Please be alert, alarmed, and on the lookout for the 'But' ones.
No, I am not channelling Sir Mix-a-Lot, this has nothing to do with derrieres.
It's everything to do with another category I like to call 'annoying people.'
There aren't many out there, however when in contact with one, it's important to know what you're looking for so that you can make a quick escape. If in contact with more than one, I suggest you run screaming for the hills.
Identifying factors of this minority group include phrases like this:
"But I think you should have done this."
"But you should be upset with yourself, not her."
"But what about your travel time?"
"But what if he takes you for a ride?"
"But that doesn't matter."
"But that's wrong!"
As you can see from the above, the clearest most identifying factor of this sub-category annoying group is the use of the word 'But.' Not only do they use the term at the beginning of all of their sentences, but the conclusion and intention of all their words is to oppose whatever it is you are saying, no matter what it is.
Other identifyings attributes of this group that don't necessary include the word 'but,' however are minor clues that you may have a problem case on your hands, include:
- vague acknowledgement of your acheivements, to the point of a faint nod or changing of the topic
- turning the attention back to themselves after you've finished speaking, every chance they get
- an arrogant, superior attitude, that they are more experienced/smarter/better than you are
All of these identifying traits point to a species that needs to downplay the acheivements, views and general preferences of others in order to retain a sense of self-worth and importance. They are a highly immature species, their developmental stage seemingly stuck in an adolescent period; this is why they are unable to praise or give attention to others, they are highly selfish and want it all to themselves.
Their irrational behaviours stem from a deep insecurity that they are not important enough: their lack of development means it is especially unlikely that they are able to progress through this vulnerability on their own terms, and any support or guidance offered to them by others to help change will only be strongly refuted, as they are very stubborn, in keeping with their adolescent traits.
Due to their impossible natures, they are only ever able to find another 'But' one as a mate. Subsequently, together these mates may or may not produce further 'But' young. Here the chances are 50/50 that the young will follow in their parents footsteps. The young who are brainwashed from little will have little chances of escaping the domineering attitudes of their parents. The others may break away from their parents' pull in their teenage years, in the heartbreaking realisation that their parents are too egotistical, domineering and uptight to deal with. These courageous ones will be away to get away and make a brand new life for themselves, and will live their lives as a polar opposite to what they've been told growing up.
It is with the latter young group that we hope the future will be. As 'But' one mates with 'But' one, and they produce potential 'But' young, we can only hope that the young will have the hindsight and smarts to object to their parents rules, and make a fresh start for their generation.
The only hope is for the extinction of the 'But' ones. They are too impossible to manage. In hoping for a Darwinian-type world, a slow phasing out of their kind, via their young turning their backs to them, will be the only way to escape.
Extinction is the key.
And now to counter with a dose of, what else but....
Please be alert, alarmed, and on the lookout for the 'But' ones.
No, I am not channelling Sir Mix-a-Lot, this has nothing to do with derrieres.
It's everything to do with another category I like to call 'annoying people.'
There aren't many out there, however when in contact with one, it's important to know what you're looking for so that you can make a quick escape. If in contact with more than one, I suggest you run screaming for the hills.
Identifying factors of this minority group include phrases like this:
"But I think you should have done this."
"But you should be upset with yourself, not her."
"But what about your travel time?"
"But what if he takes you for a ride?"
"But that doesn't matter."
"But that's wrong!"
As you can see from the above, the clearest most identifying factor of this sub-category annoying group is the use of the word 'But.' Not only do they use the term at the beginning of all of their sentences, but the conclusion and intention of all their words is to oppose whatever it is you are saying, no matter what it is.
Other identifyings attributes of this group that don't necessary include the word 'but,' however are minor clues that you may have a problem case on your hands, include:
- vague acknowledgement of your acheivements, to the point of a faint nod or changing of the topic
- turning the attention back to themselves after you've finished speaking, every chance they get
- an arrogant, superior attitude, that they are more experienced/smarter/better than you are
All of these identifying traits point to a species that needs to downplay the acheivements, views and general preferences of others in order to retain a sense of self-worth and importance. They are a highly immature species, their developmental stage seemingly stuck in an adolescent period; this is why they are unable to praise or give attention to others, they are highly selfish and want it all to themselves.
Their irrational behaviours stem from a deep insecurity that they are not important enough: their lack of development means it is especially unlikely that they are able to progress through this vulnerability on their own terms, and any support or guidance offered to them by others to help change will only be strongly refuted, as they are very stubborn, in keeping with their adolescent traits.
Due to their impossible natures, they are only ever able to find another 'But' one as a mate. Subsequently, together these mates may or may not produce further 'But' young. Here the chances are 50/50 that the young will follow in their parents footsteps. The young who are brainwashed from little will have little chances of escaping the domineering attitudes of their parents. The others may break away from their parents' pull in their teenage years, in the heartbreaking realisation that their parents are too egotistical, domineering and uptight to deal with. These courageous ones will be away to get away and make a brand new life for themselves, and will live their lives as a polar opposite to what they've been told growing up.
It is with the latter young group that we hope the future will be. As 'But' one mates with 'But' one, and they produce potential 'But' young, we can only hope that the young will have the hindsight and smarts to object to their parents rules, and make a fresh start for their generation.
The only hope is for the extinction of the 'But' ones. They are too impossible to manage. In hoping for a Darwinian-type world, a slow phasing out of their kind, via their young turning their backs to them, will be the only way to escape.
Extinction is the key.
And now to counter with a dose of, what else but....
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Engagements and Weddings are coming out of my ar - .... ahem, behind - PART 2
Yes, there are more. As if there were not enough already, and with both of my friends' engagements behind us now, I can confirm more details of engagement/wedding joy impending on us.
THE DEFINITES
- The wedding that was confirmed for this month has now been postponed 'til Jan next year. That I don't mind, because October is always so busy for us, and January is super boring. So it evens things up a bit.
- This upcoming weekend we have an engagement - family friend on my side who announced her engagement not long ago.
- My friend is having her wedding in May, as previously confirmed.
- On the same weekend as above friend, Hubbie's 2nd cousin is also having his wedding. On the SAME weekend. Geez people. Hoping he picks the Sunday, as above friend is already confirmed for the Saturday.
- Red is having hers November next year.
- The week after Red's is Hubbie's best mate's wife's bro who is getting married to a relative of Hubbie's.
THE MAYBES
- 2 cousins of mine, both who haven't made dates as yet
- The above mentioned family friend will most likely have her wedding next year
- Just a couple days ago we heard that (deep breath) Hubbie's best mate's wife's brother's FIANCE (also known as Hubbie's relative) her brother has just announced his engagement. Phew! So that wedding may happen next year too. And an engagement may precede that also, all depending....
- Another cousin of Hubbie's who lives overseas, has met a man who lives in Australia, and they will most likely be moving here. They have filled in the relevant paperwork, and again, a wedding should definitely follow.
See how, when it rains it freaking pours cats and dogs????
AFTERWORD
I wrote this a couple of days ago before I posted it today. As Murphy's Law would have it, one of my above cousins who I said is most likely to get married next year, Legs, well she emailed me to say they have broken up. Without going into the specifics, she isn't going to wait for somebody who suddenly doesn't know what they want, as heartbreaking as it is. I feel so badly for her. It was kind of obvious things weren't right, and for a while now both families have been at it, but to come to this was something I never expected of them.
And he seemed the best match for her. Obviously not.
And then I hear my other cousin is already into the (completely outdated and domineering) habit of putting down his fiance in front of other family members. Like really? He's turning into his Dad who he despises so much. Let's see how long this one will take.
Sounds like my side of the family won't be contributing to any matrimonial bliss for a while yet......
THE DEFINITES
- The wedding that was confirmed for this month has now been postponed 'til Jan next year. That I don't mind, because October is always so busy for us, and January is super boring. So it evens things up a bit.
- This upcoming weekend we have an engagement - family friend on my side who announced her engagement not long ago.
- My friend is having her wedding in May, as previously confirmed.
- On the same weekend as above friend, Hubbie's 2nd cousin is also having his wedding. On the SAME weekend. Geez people. Hoping he picks the Sunday, as above friend is already confirmed for the Saturday.
- Red is having hers November next year.
- The week after Red's is Hubbie's best mate's wife's bro who is getting married to a relative of Hubbie's.
THE MAYBES
- 2 cousins of mine, both who haven't made dates as yet
- The above mentioned family friend will most likely have her wedding next year
- Just a couple days ago we heard that (deep breath) Hubbie's best mate's wife's brother's FIANCE (also known as Hubbie's relative) her brother has just announced his engagement. Phew! So that wedding may happen next year too. And an engagement may precede that also, all depending....
- Another cousin of Hubbie's who lives overseas, has met a man who lives in Australia, and they will most likely be moving here. They have filled in the relevant paperwork, and again, a wedding should definitely follow.
See how, when it rains it freaking pours cats and dogs????
AFTERWORD
I wrote this a couple of days ago before I posted it today. As Murphy's Law would have it, one of my above cousins who I said is most likely to get married next year, Legs, well she emailed me to say they have broken up. Without going into the specifics, she isn't going to wait for somebody who suddenly doesn't know what they want, as heartbreaking as it is. I feel so badly for her. It was kind of obvious things weren't right, and for a while now both families have been at it, but to come to this was something I never expected of them.
And he seemed the best match for her. Obviously not.
And then I hear my other cousin is already into the (completely outdated and domineering) habit of putting down his fiance in front of other family members. Like really? He's turning into his Dad who he despises so much. Let's see how long this one will take.
Sounds like my side of the family won't be contributing to any matrimonial bliss for a while yet......
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The peculiarity of symmetry
Prior to this my current employer, I used to work in a shop. Back in 2006, at the end of that year as I was approaching my almost 4 years of working there, my work colleagues and I were hotly contesting the latest work issue: The upcoming Christmas Party.
I had been to three Christmas parties up until then from the time I'd been there, and it appeared there was to be no more, with rumours rife that management had decided only Managers and Full-Time workers of all their shops were invited to that years party, leaving out the part-time workers and casuals. I was a casual, and almost every person in that shop was too, bar the manager and her assistant. The majority of the company was the casuals, so we considered it to be a major slap in the face.
It turned out to be true, and when we spoke to employees at other stores, they too confirmed the same rumour we'd heard.
Meanwhile, our manager was working on some damage control. She was trying to keep us from revolting against management, while at the same time sweet-talking the area manager into allowing us an invite to the Christmas party. She believed we deserved the exception; we had won two awards over the past two years in our retail industry sector, and our stores sales were on the increase.
Finally, one day when the area manager came to visit us, our manager had her breakthrough. She'd convinced him, and he, in an ashamedly-but-chuffed-that-she-was-flirting-with-him way, said we could come.
We were allowed to go to our Christmas party.
Our manager was rapt. She announced to us all that we should be grateful that he was allowing us, the only casuals out of all the shops, the opportunity to attend. We should thank him, and go to the Christmas party.
I am not a freaking pitiful charity case.
I didn't do or say anything then (because it'd all been said and done between us the casuals previously), but I felt like sticking up my finger to them and telling them to stick it. I should be grateful? Really? For your initial refusal to accept us as important members of your team, for all the shit jobs we do and customer pressure we put up with? For all those Saturdays we go without proper lunch breaks or any breaks because we're understaffed yet snowed under in constant work due to high demand? For choosing to only pay attention to customers complaints and threaten our job dismissal without talking to us first? (oh yeah, that's a whole other story).
I didn't go to the party that year. I actually had a ticket out of it, because I had another engagement, and so that's all I said to my manager. I don't think many of the casuals went, a lot of us had already decided it was a lost cause.
Fast forward to yesterday, October 2011. I am approaching my fourth year here at my current employer. I have been to all three Christmas parties since starting work here. Also, over the last few weeks, there have been rumours that this years Christmas party was going to be held at the company's cafe. The small little cafe, meant to house 400 of the buildings employees, rather than hire out a proper venue like every other year. And, wait for it - the company has this year achieved some of its greatest success to date, in many of their profit sectors.
Yesterday we received an email from one of the top-dogs. He repeated the above: that we had had a magnificent year and achieved success in a variety of their avenues.
HOWEVER
with all of these successes, they had reached some difficult financial times, and as a result, the NETWORK CHRISTMAS PARTY WAS CANCELLED.
We all sat at our computers, mouths gaping as we read the email.
Just letting you know that our company is big. REALLY big.
The last part of the email read that several management heads were not going to accept this, and were so going to organise their own version of a Christmas party for us, with further details to follow in the coming week.
So in other words, they were going to pay out of their own budget or wallets for all of us. That is respectful. The part preceding it was not.
So, pretty much, this massive company that I work at is saying that THEY HAVE NO MONEY. Really, that's what it comes down to. They have enough when they have to 'buy out' people, pay them enormous salaries, anything to attract attention or increase their wealth through huge financial risk.
Yet for those people who come to work every day and make them a success, they have NO MONEY.
That is disappointing. That is sad. That is greedy.
This year we're on top and yet this is how we're treated. We won't be on top every year. What will happen then? They'll take away the coffee machine, start charging us to use the toilets and make us bring in our own milk?
They should be ashamed of themselves.
Most of us in our department are leaning towards a boycott of the whole event, preferring to get together at a bar and have our own little Christmas party.
And as I pondered all this yesterday, I couldn't help but link up all the circumstances, events, people and years to see some interesting connections developing.
I have to wonder whether this is another sign that there is change near. This has given me even more ammunition to achieve my dream. As I write my 11th chapter, drawing ever so closer to the completion of my book, I wonder whether there is something such as a 5 year itch.
Whether you call it an itch, history repeating itself or simply fate, whatever it is, there is no denying, there is something happening in the air......
I just got goosebumps.
I had been to three Christmas parties up until then from the time I'd been there, and it appeared there was to be no more, with rumours rife that management had decided only Managers and Full-Time workers of all their shops were invited to that years party, leaving out the part-time workers and casuals. I was a casual, and almost every person in that shop was too, bar the manager and her assistant. The majority of the company was the casuals, so we considered it to be a major slap in the face.
It turned out to be true, and when we spoke to employees at other stores, they too confirmed the same rumour we'd heard.
Meanwhile, our manager was working on some damage control. She was trying to keep us from revolting against management, while at the same time sweet-talking the area manager into allowing us an invite to the Christmas party. She believed we deserved the exception; we had won two awards over the past two years in our retail industry sector, and our stores sales were on the increase.
Finally, one day when the area manager came to visit us, our manager had her breakthrough. She'd convinced him, and he, in an ashamedly-but-chuffed-that-she-was-flirting-with-him way, said we could come.
We were allowed to go to our Christmas party.
Our manager was rapt. She announced to us all that we should be grateful that he was allowing us, the only casuals out of all the shops, the opportunity to attend. We should thank him, and go to the Christmas party.
I am not a freaking pitiful charity case.
I didn't do or say anything then (because it'd all been said and done between us the casuals previously), but I felt like sticking up my finger to them and telling them to stick it. I should be grateful? Really? For your initial refusal to accept us as important members of your team, for all the shit jobs we do and customer pressure we put up with? For all those Saturdays we go without proper lunch breaks or any breaks because we're understaffed yet snowed under in constant work due to high demand? For choosing to only pay attention to customers complaints and threaten our job dismissal without talking to us first? (oh yeah, that's a whole other story).
I didn't go to the party that year. I actually had a ticket out of it, because I had another engagement, and so that's all I said to my manager. I don't think many of the casuals went, a lot of us had already decided it was a lost cause.
Fast forward to yesterday, October 2011. I am approaching my fourth year here at my current employer. I have been to all three Christmas parties since starting work here. Also, over the last few weeks, there have been rumours that this years Christmas party was going to be held at the company's cafe. The small little cafe, meant to house 400 of the buildings employees, rather than hire out a proper venue like every other year. And, wait for it - the company has this year achieved some of its greatest success to date, in many of their profit sectors.
Yesterday we received an email from one of the top-dogs. He repeated the above: that we had had a magnificent year and achieved success in a variety of their avenues.
HOWEVER
with all of these successes, they had reached some difficult financial times, and as a result, the NETWORK CHRISTMAS PARTY WAS CANCELLED.
We all sat at our computers, mouths gaping as we read the email.
Just letting you know that our company is big. REALLY big.
The last part of the email read that several management heads were not going to accept this, and were so going to organise their own version of a Christmas party for us, with further details to follow in the coming week.
So in other words, they were going to pay out of their own budget or wallets for all of us. That is respectful. The part preceding it was not.
So, pretty much, this massive company that I work at is saying that THEY HAVE NO MONEY. Really, that's what it comes down to. They have enough when they have to 'buy out' people, pay them enormous salaries, anything to attract attention or increase their wealth through huge financial risk.
Yet for those people who come to work every day and make them a success, they have NO MONEY.
That is disappointing. That is sad. That is greedy.
This year we're on top and yet this is how we're treated. We won't be on top every year. What will happen then? They'll take away the coffee machine, start charging us to use the toilets and make us bring in our own milk?
They should be ashamed of themselves.
Most of us in our department are leaning towards a boycott of the whole event, preferring to get together at a bar and have our own little Christmas party.
And as I pondered all this yesterday, I couldn't help but link up all the circumstances, events, people and years to see some interesting connections developing.
I have to wonder whether this is another sign that there is change near. This has given me even more ammunition to achieve my dream. As I write my 11th chapter, drawing ever so closer to the completion of my book, I wonder whether there is something such as a 5 year itch.
Whether you call it an itch, history repeating itself or simply fate, whatever it is, there is no denying, there is something happening in the air......
I just got goosebumps.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Driving in my Dreams
I've had a few things on my mind as of late (as always) but after waking up yesterday morning with the memory of my dream so fresh in my mind, I just had to get it out there.
I had a dream about my dream car: the Nissan 370Z. Yes, it is my dream to have this car, but it will not remain one, because the wish will come to fruition, 'til the day that it is in fact a reality.
It was such a weird dream because I wasn't driving the car, it was Hubbie. It's funny, because in the dream it was a manual, and although my current car is auto and I've never driven anything but, Hubbie and I have spoken about the day when I do get it, that I will get it manual and learn how to drive. That's because the only way to have that car is as a manual. And so in the dream he was driving it because I still didn't know how to drive manual. Although at one point in the dream Hubbie did ask me to hold the wheel for him, hmmmmmm I wonder what that could mean......
And to make it more weird, the car had a back seat, with 2 random men in it. 1, the car doesn't actually have a back seat, (although sometimes I wish it did, so it would make me feel less bad about having a car that only seats one other person at a time!) and 2, the men seemed to me to be some kind of business people? Weird.
What was completely realistic though was that we all went shopping (random business guys included) and I bought a lot of clothes before we went off driving again. I love shopping. So that part of the dream is totally believable.
And you know when you wake up, and it feels like you've just finished dreaming that dream? So all the details are still fresh in your mind, so you feel like you can just fall asleep again and gently slip into the drivers seat..... or passengers seat as was my case.
Ahhhhh, 370Z, how I love you so.
THIS PHOTO IS NOT MY PROPERTY, DOES NOT BELONG TO ME IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
Oh, and the car in my dream was a convertible, the roadster version, as above. In real life, I sorta don't care, I'll take any model really if someone hands it to me :)
I had a dream about my dream car: the Nissan 370Z. Yes, it is my dream to have this car, but it will not remain one, because the wish will come to fruition, 'til the day that it is in fact a reality.
It was such a weird dream because I wasn't driving the car, it was Hubbie. It's funny, because in the dream it was a manual, and although my current car is auto and I've never driven anything but, Hubbie and I have spoken about the day when I do get it, that I will get it manual and learn how to drive. That's because the only way to have that car is as a manual. And so in the dream he was driving it because I still didn't know how to drive manual. Although at one point in the dream Hubbie did ask me to hold the wheel for him, hmmmmmm I wonder what that could mean......
And to make it more weird, the car had a back seat, with 2 random men in it. 1, the car doesn't actually have a back seat, (although sometimes I wish it did, so it would make me feel less bad about having a car that only seats one other person at a time!) and 2, the men seemed to me to be some kind of business people? Weird.
What was completely realistic though was that we all went shopping (random business guys included) and I bought a lot of clothes before we went off driving again. I love shopping. So that part of the dream is totally believable.
And you know when you wake up, and it feels like you've just finished dreaming that dream? So all the details are still fresh in your mind, so you feel like you can just fall asleep again and gently slip into the drivers seat..... or passengers seat as was my case.
Ahhhhh, 370Z, how I love you so.
THIS PHOTO IS NOT MY PROPERTY, DOES NOT BELONG TO ME IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM.
Oh, and the car in my dream was a convertible, the roadster version, as above. In real life, I sorta don't care, I'll take any model really if someone hands it to me :)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Happiness Is.... #5
Happiness Is....
Shopping with your best buddies. Walking around a shopping centre aimlessly, not necessarily buying anything but nontheless window-dreaming and thinking big. Talking about a random multitude of subjects because hey, that's what old friends do. They are never at a loss for words.
The conversation is about people, places, things; everything. Somehow it turns to books. And I say to Blonde teasingly, in reference to her inability to complete reading an entire book (she much rather prefers shopping) "When I finish my book, Red can read it and then tell you all about it."
I say this quite seriously even though I'm teasing. I'm under no false pretences about her choice of activites. I'm giving her a 'get out of jail free' card.
Immediately she turns to me: it's an instantaneous reaction. "No, I'M going to read it!" I laugh.
A few minutes pass before I realise how valuable her reaction to my statement was. I tell her and we laugh again.
I love it. I love my friends. Red and Blonde are the best. Their support to me in my creative endeavours is incredible. I love them for wanting to read my book because they want to. And I love them for wanting to read my book even more, even though it may not be the first preference of sparetime activity they would normally choose.
Cherish your true friends :)
Shopping with your best buddies. Walking around a shopping centre aimlessly, not necessarily buying anything but nontheless window-dreaming and thinking big. Talking about a random multitude of subjects because hey, that's what old friends do. They are never at a loss for words.
The conversation is about people, places, things; everything. Somehow it turns to books. And I say to Blonde teasingly, in reference to her inability to complete reading an entire book (she much rather prefers shopping) "When I finish my book, Red can read it and then tell you all about it."
I say this quite seriously even though I'm teasing. I'm under no false pretences about her choice of activites. I'm giving her a 'get out of jail free' card.
Immediately she turns to me: it's an instantaneous reaction. "No, I'M going to read it!" I laugh.
A few minutes pass before I realise how valuable her reaction to my statement was. I tell her and we laugh again.
I love it. I love my friends. Red and Blonde are the best. Their support to me in my creative endeavours is incredible. I love them for wanting to read my book because they want to. And I love them for wanting to read my book even more, even though it may not be the first preference of sparetime activity they would normally choose.
Cherish your true friends :)
The freaking pain of writing
So last night I had a complete nervous breakdown. For weeks now I haven't had the proper time to write. First it was my birthday, then the holidays, then more birthdays.... last night was the first night I was able to make myself commit again, as was per normal about a month ago.
Actually, I'd given myself the last 2 writing nights off, in my acknowledgement that I still had to drum up some ideas in order to be actually able to write something. No point in putting my fingers to the keyboard to just sit there staring blankly at the computer screen.
So last night, I sat on the couch next to hubbie as he was watching Family Guy and American Dad eps back to back. I was all prepared you see. Rather than lock myself in the study away from him, I wanted to stay close (awwwww!) and instead plug in my ipod to some classical music so that the distracting Peter Griffin and Stan Smith didn't get in the way of my creative processing thoughts.
So I got organised: I downloaded some Beethoven and got going.
You know that really well-known Beethoven symphony? I think it's symphony no. 5 or 7. Well that's the one that started on my ipod playlist. Really stirring, loud. Maddening. Sitting there on the couch next to hubbie, with flashes of animation passing in front of my eyes, exceptionally loud Beethoven blasting into my ears, and me, Miss S trying to get back into the writing habit, willing my creative thoughts to work, was the scene last night. It didn't take long 'til I went insane.
Then another symphony came on. A slow, sad one. Good. The feel of the beginning of my chapter 10 is a frustrating one, so maybe this sad music could help, I thought. A few more sad symphonies went by. More flashes of animation before my eyes. Bits and pieces of the Griffin family voice seeped their way into my earphones during the slow lapses of music in Beethoven's sad songs. I turned up the volume, only to have to turn it down again quickly when the music suddenly dipped up.
After 5 minutes I realised my fingers were more on my ipod then on the freaking keyboard.
I managed to write about 2 paragraphs. I was getting so frustrated, when a chirpy symphony began. And it really pissed me off. Yes it wasn't sad and depressing, yes the music filled up my ears with sound so that I could block out any remnants of noice from Family Guy, but it didn't match the mood of my chapter! And because it wasn't matching, it was completely screwing with my thoughts.
I sat there, silently stewing for a few moments, then ripping the earphones out, got up and left. I went into the bedroom and sat there with the door closed, where for half the time I managed to write another paragraph, and the other half I bawled my eyes out crying.
It was so frustrating. I was trying to find ways to write, and yet in my efforts to write contentedly sitting next to Hubbie, I had instead failed miserably. I couldn't do it, distractions were all abound. Hubbie came up and tried to comfort me, and his efforts somewhat paid off. But when he asked me to let it go for the night and leave the writing 'til tomorrow, when my head was more clear, I couldn't help bawling again.
And then I realised what it was. It wasn't so much the distractions. It was the fact that I was confused. I had a really bad case of writer's block. This whole time I hadnt been writing, I had put it down to lack of time. And now, when I had the time, I still couldn't write. It was me. I wasn't working properly.
It's not that the words wouldn't come to me, more that the idea and where I want to go in the last part of the story is still one great big muddle of mud. Knowing that I'd skipped the last 2 sessions, along with the knowledge that I was already 9 hours behind in writing time that I still had to make up, was placing an enormous amount of stress on me. I just couldn't take it.
I found some inspiration in a writing book I have though. On a section about when writing gets hard, it says that there are 2 reasons why writing gets hard. Either you don't believe in what you're writing about anymore. Or, you don't know what to write, and this is the time to persist because a breakthrough is near. Like I said to hubbie last night, I really hope this is the latter case for me.
So I'm just gonna have to persist. Write down ideas, brainstorm, try to link things up. Stare at my words, make songs up about the chracters, anything, just until a few pieces click together and bang! it's there.
Maybe I need to change my approach, or try from a different angle, I'm not sure. What I do know is that I always knew this wasn't gonna be easy, and I'll be damned if I'm giving up now.
Giving up? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that expression......
And now to counter this verbally abusive post to the bitch known as writing, I will give you some Happiness :)
Actually, I'd given myself the last 2 writing nights off, in my acknowledgement that I still had to drum up some ideas in order to be actually able to write something. No point in putting my fingers to the keyboard to just sit there staring blankly at the computer screen.
So last night, I sat on the couch next to hubbie as he was watching Family Guy and American Dad eps back to back. I was all prepared you see. Rather than lock myself in the study away from him, I wanted to stay close (awwwww!) and instead plug in my ipod to some classical music so that the distracting Peter Griffin and Stan Smith didn't get in the way of my creative processing thoughts.
So I got organised: I downloaded some Beethoven and got going.
You know that really well-known Beethoven symphony? I think it's symphony no. 5 or 7. Well that's the one that started on my ipod playlist. Really stirring, loud. Maddening. Sitting there on the couch next to hubbie, with flashes of animation passing in front of my eyes, exceptionally loud Beethoven blasting into my ears, and me, Miss S trying to get back into the writing habit, willing my creative thoughts to work, was the scene last night. It didn't take long 'til I went insane.
Then another symphony came on. A slow, sad one. Good. The feel of the beginning of my chapter 10 is a frustrating one, so maybe this sad music could help, I thought. A few more sad symphonies went by. More flashes of animation before my eyes. Bits and pieces of the Griffin family voice seeped their way into my earphones during the slow lapses of music in Beethoven's sad songs. I turned up the volume, only to have to turn it down again quickly when the music suddenly dipped up.
After 5 minutes I realised my fingers were more on my ipod then on the freaking keyboard.
I managed to write about 2 paragraphs. I was getting so frustrated, when a chirpy symphony began. And it really pissed me off. Yes it wasn't sad and depressing, yes the music filled up my ears with sound so that I could block out any remnants of noice from Family Guy, but it didn't match the mood of my chapter! And because it wasn't matching, it was completely screwing with my thoughts.
I sat there, silently stewing for a few moments, then ripping the earphones out, got up and left. I went into the bedroom and sat there with the door closed, where for half the time I managed to write another paragraph, and the other half I bawled my eyes out crying.
It was so frustrating. I was trying to find ways to write, and yet in my efforts to write contentedly sitting next to Hubbie, I had instead failed miserably. I couldn't do it, distractions were all abound. Hubbie came up and tried to comfort me, and his efforts somewhat paid off. But when he asked me to let it go for the night and leave the writing 'til tomorrow, when my head was more clear, I couldn't help bawling again.
And then I realised what it was. It wasn't so much the distractions. It was the fact that I was confused. I had a really bad case of writer's block. This whole time I hadnt been writing, I had put it down to lack of time. And now, when I had the time, I still couldn't write. It was me. I wasn't working properly.
It's not that the words wouldn't come to me, more that the idea and where I want to go in the last part of the story is still one great big muddle of mud. Knowing that I'd skipped the last 2 sessions, along with the knowledge that I was already 9 hours behind in writing time that I still had to make up, was placing an enormous amount of stress on me. I just couldn't take it.
I found some inspiration in a writing book I have though. On a section about when writing gets hard, it says that there are 2 reasons why writing gets hard. Either you don't believe in what you're writing about anymore. Or, you don't know what to write, and this is the time to persist because a breakthrough is near. Like I said to hubbie last night, I really hope this is the latter case for me.
So I'm just gonna have to persist. Write down ideas, brainstorm, try to link things up. Stare at my words, make songs up about the chracters, anything, just until a few pieces click together and bang! it's there.
Maybe I need to change my approach, or try from a different angle, I'm not sure. What I do know is that I always knew this wasn't gonna be easy, and I'll be damned if I'm giving up now.
Giving up? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that expression......
And now to counter this verbally abusive post to the bitch known as writing, I will give you some Happiness :)
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