Now, I don't mean that in the whole Scientology-religion sense. Or the jumping up on Oprah's couch declaring love for Katie Holmes way (although I do like her). I'm talking Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire.
One of my all time fave movies.
I've just pictured him: black eye, depressed, with a possible hungover, and wearing glasses, the day after.
I can see him now, all dejected about having his most illustrious and esteemed client move on to his competitor Sports Agent, and having just broken up with his fiance, hence the token of the black eye.
Feeling like his world is about to end. Not knowing where he's headed. Wondering "Why did I write that mission statement? Was my moment of clarity, of spiritual enlightenment, the start of my downspiral, not only in work, but in love, in life? Or is this whirlpool of darkness surrounding me the beginning of something different, good, great?"
He may not have used those words, but I'm sure his character was thinking it. And now so am I.
I'm thinking of his glasses. The day after. The ones he uses to hide his eyes. His black eye, but more importantly, his feelings, his thoughts. His failures, his digressions.
I need them right now. To sit in the cold wintry breeze, and soak in the harsh sunlight. To hide my slowly trickling tears, my worried eyes, my dark thoughts. To sit behind a veil of tinted darkness, and pretend everything is okay, while my mind ticks away, pondering what is to come. What does the future hold, and is everything about to change? No doubt it will. For the better or worse, I'm yet to find out.
Will I get a Jerry Maguire ending? No one knows.
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