Oops, I did it again

In the famous words of Homer, D'oh.
Why can't I leave well enough alone? Why must I push and push and...... sigh.
Here we go again.
In the continuation of my former, ex-best friend never-ending saga, there are further developments.
But let's stop right there for a moment. Let's give this girl a name for Pete's sake. (And why Pete???)

Let's call her.......Pez. Ha ha. I'm the only one laughing because I know why.
So I had left her a facebook message on her profile page, from last recall. My message had outlined what I'd been up to lately, and then, in line with my stupid 'test' I put the question to her. I had suggested we catch up, as we had planned so many many months earlier but had never gotten around to, hence leaving the ball in her court, to either lob back, or simply let fall to the ground.
A few days passed, and nothing. No sign, no message, no news, no response from Pez. And so I thought to myself, "Cool." I was happy. Really, TRULY I was. I thought to myself that she clearly wasn't interested in a catch up or just wasn't sure about it, and I didn't reproach her for it, because honestly, I wasn't sure myself.
Thinking all was over, and I don't know WHY I thought I had to do it, but I made a facebook status in response to this recent turn of events. Honestly, I don't know what I was trying to achieve. Was I trying to bait her with a reply? Was I pretending I was ok when I wasn't? I truly feel cool about it all, I feel no hostility towards her whatsoever, and yet, I decided to write this, for all to see on my facebook page:

Thank you, I asked you a question and you answered. Now I can move on :)

Now, is that really obvious, or is that REALLY obvious? At the time I didn't think it was really obvious. I thought, "hey, it's clearly a statement that can be made to illustrate ANY life situation, any person, any event."
About one day passed after that status update, when I received an email notification, telling me that Pez had written something to me.
O-M-G. We meet again.
At the time I absolutely shit myself, thinking she had responded DIRECTLY to my status. But in fact, no, she was just responding to my earlier post on her wall about catching up. Her response sounded quite genuine. She enthusiastically agreed that a catch-up was a great idea and that we should do it, despite the fact that things were crazy busy at the moment.
I could have kicked myself in the butt, if I had been able to dislocate my leg to do it. Now all I could think of was, "is she responding because she wants to, or because she read between the lines in my status?"
D'oh, d'oh, d'oh.
Oh, if only I hadn't been so philosophical about different stages of life, friends coming and going, everything has a meaning, la di da di da. Blah.
Now the only thing I can do is wonder. Wonder what her true feelings are. And sadly, I do regret typing that status. Because a part of me did want this stage of my life to be over. And now I feel I'm forced into a puppet show, with my idiotic 'life-is-so-meaningful' bullshit big mouth pulling the strings.
Ahh!
So, because I've made my bed, and now I must sleep in it, I responded to her message last night. I suggested a day that suits me for our catch-up, and I've let her know that if that doesn't work, we'll try another day and......
You know, all that fake I really care crap.
Yeah I know. I must sound like a real bitch right now. More than upset at anyone or anything, I'm upset at myself, and why I didn't just let things be.
And you know what? If this meeting does end up happening..... it's Now or Never.
In the harmonious words of Elvis, "Tomorrow will be too late, it's Now or Never....."
I will bring up the Elephant in the Room, God help me I will. Because really, I don't care anymore, and really, I have nothing to lose.
That's a sequel to keep anyone on the edge of their seat.