I Fainted..... and it was like in the Movies

Yes. I fainted. And it was truly like in the movies. Seems like they get some things right!
This was over a week ago, mind you. Seems my previous post prediction came true, about not posting for a while.
I fainted, shit happened, I freaked out, and yeah, here we are.
So the story begins on my Monday off, the one before this one just passed. I had a doctors appointment, and let's just say I was feeling apprehensive to say the least. I was really nervous, but it was over and done with before I knew it, which was GREAT.
I had come in that day with my Mum, as I was on my sister's side of town: we had the intention of visiting her after the doctors, so mum was in the waiting area.
I came out, and walked to the counter to pay.
There were two receptionist/nurses at the counter. One was assisting a fellow patient, the other was on the phone. I was sort of standing near the receptionist on the phone, because I could tell that once she was finished, she would assist me: the other receptionist and patient seemed to be involved in something that would take a while.
It was during this time, that I started to think about the appointment I'd just had. It was over yes, but still, stupidly, the thought came into my head, and made me queasy, ill.
It was like I knew what was starting to occur. A sense of uneasiness came over me. I started shifting from foot to foot, in an effort to keep moving, keep active, not wanting unconsciousness to come and take over me.
Yes there was a reason I knew that I had to keep moving. I had suffered from, I guess you can call it fainting 'episodes' before. I never called it that, only because it wasn't your normal (if you can say normal for fainting) or expected fainting episode. It was no black and white moment of "oh my gosh I'm sick," and BANG fall down holding my heart. No, nothing like that.
The first time I remember 'falling' was when I was a teen. I was in a hot room, and I was sitting down cross-legged, reading, my head resting on my hands. It was very warm and stuffy. When I went to stand up, it was quick, and I started walking to the front door. I felt my ears ringing slightly, and I felt a bit dizzy, the way you might do when you stand up quickly. But then what surprised me, when I reached the door, was I blacked out, lost consciousness whatever you may call it, and the next thing I knew I felt as if I was half-dreaming. In this state my legs buckled beneath me, and I started to fall. As I fell down I hit myself somewhere - I can't remember where it was now, whether it was my arm, leg, or whether I scratched my face somehow on the way down - but that still didn't get me out of my unconscious state. Then BANG I hit the ground, and it was about then that I sort of came to and thought "my gosh, did I just faint?" It was the oddest sensation, of slipping out and then coming back to and realising that you have no idea of how you came to that place. I'd remembered hitting myself on the way down, but until I hit the floor completely did I actually realise what had happened.
Funnily enough, I found it sort of exciting. Well you do I guess at that age. I didn't jump for joy or anything, but I did tell a few friends. I never really thought of it as fainting though, I always put my "falling spell" down to the fact that it was hot and stuffy, and when I stood up all the blood must have rushed up or down or wherever it goes, leading me to sort of, well, fall.
A close-to fainting spell followed years later. I was at my sisters with a close friend, and my Mum was there too (hmmmm coincidental, similar group of people!) My sister had just had her first baby boy and was recounting to my very-curious-but-squirmish-at-the-thought friend of her birth experience. She wasn't necessarily being gory or anything, but she was being honest. And as we stood there, my sister going through almost step-by-step of what she had endured, and as we imagined what she was relaying, things around me slowly started to lose colour: my world started to turn black.
My ears started to ring, and as I realised I was starting to feel faint, I thought I'd be smart and pretend to bend down and re-tie my shoelaces on my runners, rather than say to them "I don't think I'm feeling so well..."
So I started to bend down, but my sister must have seen a funny look on my face as I went down tentatively, coupled with the fact that when I made my way down I didn't tie my laces as everything in front of me was now black.
While I meekly denied that anything was wrong, (I couldn't see anything but I could hear everything through the ringing in my ears) my sister lay me down on the floor and rubbed my legs, trying to get the blood running, while we all laughed at my queasiness about her birth recollection.
There was no overtly graphic description of what she had gone through, I guess just the fact of replaying the scenario in my head made me feel beyond squirmish, and really light-headed. There was no BANG moment, but it had come close.
Episode number 3 occurred not even two years ago. It was a horrible circumstance, one in which I received bad news, news that I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
At my parents home I had a telephone next to me in my room, and that night in question, when it rang and rang at about four in the morning, it did not wake me up. At any other time, it would have startled me awake, but not this time. I was so deep in my sleep, that the only effect the ringing had on me was to think in my sleep "what is going on?"
My Mum on the other hand, who wouldn't hear a herd of elephants passing through the house while she was asleep, amazingly heard the ringing, and realising I wasn't close to even thinking about answering, ran to the kitchen phone.
I started to wake up as I heard my Mum speak on the phone from the other room. I think even my dad was up at this stage. She gasped, cried out, in horror. My dad and I had gotten up, and were in the next room, listening and watching, as she turned and exclaimed "your cousin has hung herself."
We both stood there in shock, trying to come to terms with this horrible news and understand what was going on, as my mother asked frenzied questions to my aunty. I thought of my cousin. There had always been dramas where she was concerned. She had a sister, who unlike her, had her life completely on track it seemed. Her sister was married with two sons, one about 12 years of age, perhaps the other about 16. However this sister, the one who seems to have had committed suicide, had been unlucky in life, with failed marriages, being the victim of abuse, her parents favouring the other daughter..... and etc. So sadly, the woman that I'd never met, due to geographical restraints (she lived in Europe), I thought to myself, I'd never meet.
However, as I listened on to my Mum, something became frighteningly clear to me. I can't remember if she confirmed it, but I realised that it wasn't the troubled cousin that had hung herself. It was her sister. The one that had it all, the one that seemed so together.
The second wave of realisation hit hard. My ears started to ring as I processed this information. This cousin I had met, only twice, but still so, the news rocked me. Like many other people, I later found out, it was not only I who had made the mistake of confusing the two when I heard the bad news. The pair have similar names, and in shock, I assumed the troubled sister had done the unthinkable, just because, well, sadly to say, if anyone had asked me earlier "which of them would you expect to do something so horrendous to themselves?" I would have easily replied "the troubled one," simply because of her unlucky life, and stories I'd heard from other people about her lack of mental stability in her life.
But never her sister. Never would I have thought that. I mean, I didn't know her well, she was quiet, because of our age difference we didn't talk a whole lot the times we'd met, but still she seemed nice. She had a wonderful husband, two sons, a huge house, and lived a pretty comfortable lifestyle, in an area of the world where many didn't have the means and couldn't afford to live comfortably.
As my Mum continued on the phone, as my ears continued to ring, I decided to go to the toilet and freshen up.
I made my way there and shut the door behind me. I think I started to feel a bit weak, like everything might go black, not in a fainting sense, more in a hold-on-and-steady-yourself-while-this-dizzy-spell-passes sort of way. Just as I thought, 'let me sit down,' BANG it was all over. Before I could manage to sit down, my legs buckled, and again, like when I was a teen, everything went black and I lost consciousness on my way down. Again. Falling down in a dream like state. The weirdest sensation. You don't know you're fainting, all it feels like, is like it's a dream. And then you wake up.
I fell down, on the tiled floor, like a bag of bricks being dropped. The side of my bum hit the tiles hard, and as a side reaction I bit my lip. The impact jolted me to, and I looked around, thinking "oh my gosh."
My Dad wasn't far. He heard the loud noise, and was at the door quickly. "Are you ok?" he called seriously.
When I mumbled a yes, he asked if he could come in, and opened the door to find me on the floor.
I was fine, all I suffered was a slightly bruised bum/hip, and a cut lip, which thankfully was more on the inner lip rather than on the outer for everyone to see, so luckily I wasn't scrutiny to the stupid questions of "who did you get in a fight with?"
I put it down to the fact that it was the middle of the night, more early morning I guess, and getting out of bed quickly, followed by the shock of hearing suddenly that my cousin had committed suicide, and then on top of that realising that in fact it was my 'together' cousin who had in fact done it, just started my head spinning. And led to me ending up on the floor again.
So, back to my most recent episode. I was in the waiting area, waiting in line to pay, and I was shifting foot to foot, trying to take deep breaths, aware that my recollection of the appointment I'd just had was a BAD idea, as suddenly I was feeling queasy, faint, weak, and all I wanted to do was get out of there. Once I was out and in the car park, and able to sit down in my car, I would be good. That was my frame of mind. I had considered sitting back down in the waiting area to regroup, but I thought it might appear odd, having just walked out of the doctors office and heading for a rest. I didn't wanna draw attention to myself and have people looking at me curiously. Ha. Did I get what I asked for or what.
The receptionist was soon off the phone and I stepped forward, handing her the relevant paperwork and waiting for her to ask me for money. She went away, looking for something: it took sooooo long. I was standing there, feeling fainter and fainter, wishing she would hurry up. I looked towards my Mum who was near the front entrance, and she was already planning to walk out. I leaned on the counter.
The receptionist came back and asked me for the due amount. Even at this moment I was starting to get disoriented, as I knew how much I owed, but still looking into my purse, I stared at my money slightly puzzled. I finally realised how much I needed to take out and handed her the money, all the while, my ears ringing, my vision starting to go dim, feeling fainter and fainter.
I don't know where the receptionist went or what she was doing: again it felt like ages waiting for my change. I actually held onto the counter, steadying myself, holding onto my consciousness just as strongly.
And that's the last thing I remember.
BANG.
Being out of it, unconscious or in my fainting spell, I still don't know what to call it, but in that dream-like sequence, I felt so good. In that moment, I felt dreamy, like I was well rested, and waking up from a dream. That's the only way I can explain it. This good, warm feeling. That was the feeling, the sense I had. The next thing I could remember in coming to, as my vision was returning (I refrain from saying "as I opened my eyes" because my Mum claims they were open the whole time - freaky!) was thinking to myself "what a nice sleep, what a nice rest." Then I saw about 3-4 faces in front of me, looking down at me, talking. But I couldn't hear what they were saying. I could tell I was on the floor lying down, because they were above me.
Then the realisation. I had fainted. I suddenly remembered the last few moments in a rush. And this was my thought pattern.
"Oh shit! Damn it, I fainted!"
"Oh, if I'm on the floor, how come my head doesn't hurt from falling?"
"Where's Mum? Not here, good, she won't be freaking out."
My doctor was right in front of me, saying "it's ok, you're ok."
I sheepishly whispered "how embarrassing. I didn't wanna make a scene."
The doctor and the receptionists around her were saying, "just relax, we've got a wheelchair for you," and I was like "oh my gosh the whole waiting area can see me! How embarrassing! As if she read my thoughts, my doctor said, "it's ok you'll never have to see these people again!"
At about that moment I saw my mum: poor Mum. She was crying and freaking out, and as I sat down on the wheelchair, one of the receptionists said, "I think your Mum needs a wheelchair!"
They wheeled us to one of the back rooms, onto a spare bed, and I was instructed to lie down, have some water and a lollypop.
I kept saying "this really isn't necessary, I'm ok" but according to one of the receptionists there I wasn't going anywhere until I'd had a proper lie down. But my Mum was being consoled more than anyone! I was consoling her, because she had freaked out at what had happened. Once she had calmed down slightly, she filled me in on what I hadn't been aware of.
She was all too ready to walk out the door, when she had seen me come out of the doctor's office and line up to pay. She was close to the door, ready to start walking to the car, but says something inside of her told her to wait, that she would be needed. Mother's intuition. My Mum's psychic, I know, so this doesn't surprise me. That's a whole blog in itself.
Next thing she knows, she sees the woman waiting near me or behind me, I'm not clear on that, holding my arm, as if to support me. Meanwhile, I'm staring off into the distance, off centre to the ceiling, as if focusing on a dot somewhere far away. Focusing and slightly crouched over. This must have been while I was out, because I can't remember this.
My Mum started to worry. With me looking abnormal and all. The receptionists behind the counter now all had their attention on me, observing me very carefully. I think my mum freaked out, and they said "don't worry, calm down, she's fainted." Well, I guess seeing me the way I was, non-responsive in a zombie-like state, my Mum couldn't calm down, and kept pressing them to "do something!" They said they would call someone, but my mum, anxious to get immediate help, knocked on the door of the doctor I'd just seen: it was one of the closest offices to the waiting area. My doctor immediately opened the door to my Mum's frantic "My daughter has fainted please help."
I think at this point the receptionists were lowering me slowly to the ground, on some sort of blanket. They brought over a wheelchair and were all crouched over me, observing me carefully, with my doctor there too. It was around this point that I came to, and realised what was happening.
I was slightly shaken and very amazed by the events that had unfolded that morning. We ended up going to my sisters and relaying what had happened to her. Of course only after I'd had my water and lollypop. Funnily enough, NONE of the receptionists asked me what had happened, or why. It makes me wonder how many other people have fainted there! I guess they just knew... and perhaps wanted to save me the embarrassment of having to explain. I'm not too sure.
But after talking with my sister, I was starting to get a better picture of what had happened, and possibly why it had happened. Here are my conclusions:1. I had been VERY nervous prior to my appointment. Reason no. 1 = Stress
2. My sister suggests when you're nervous you don't breathe properly, not enough oxygen goes into your lungs. Reason no. 2 = Lack of Oxygen.
3. I had had a light breakfast, as I was nervous about the upcoming appointment. I didn't have any food fuel to keep me going through the stress. Reason no. 3 = Little food.
4. I had a jacket on over my three-quarter length top, and it had been warm in the car, and in the waiting room. I had kept it on the whole time. Reason no. 4 = Heat.
5. I stupidly started to think about what had just happened, making me nauseous. Reason no. 5 = Nauseous.
6. My sister thinks we suffer from low blood pressure. Which is good in a way, but means that we are prone to feeling faint or nauseous at times like this. She suffers from it, and as I've just learnt so does my Dad. Dad, big and strong? Apparently so. Reason no. 6 = Low blood pressure.
So I think it's a combination. Yes I obviously suffer from low blood pressure (even thought the doctor measured it at the start of the appointment, and said it was fine, my sister thinks it can still mean we're fine but on the LOW side) and that coupled with the fact that I was stressed, warm, wasn't breathing properly and had had a light breakfast, equalled me fainting.
It makes sense when I look at all the other times I fell.
The first time, heat was concerned. I was in a really hot room and I suddenly stood up.
Heat + Low blood pressure = Fall.
The second time, I was feeling nauseous from my sister's story. Now that I think about it, it was morning then, and I'm sure I would have only had a really light breakfast. Nauseous + Light breakfast + Low blood pressure = Almost fall.
The third time it was nauseousness by the bad news I'd just heard. And stressed. Obviously I'd had no food as we'd been woken at four in the morning. And I wouldn't have been breathing properly from the shock. Nauseous + Stress + No Food + Lack of Oxygen + Low blood pressure = Fall.
And now it was everything. All the conditions. Stress + Nauseous + Lack of Oxygen + Light breakfast + Heat = Faint.
So any one of those key conditions, when coupled with my low blood pressure, equals NO GOOD. I need to watch myself now, and be more aware.of how I'm feeling, to avoid a similar fate in the future, and further embarrassment.
It's just soooo weird. Honestly. When I look back to that moment, of feeling faint and holding onto the counter, to my next recollection of seeing faces staring down at me in concern, in between having the oddest yet most serene sensation of being in a beautiful, rested dream, it is just mind-boggling.
Hollywood, you got this one right.