In the famous words of Homer, D'oh.
Why can't I leave well enough alone? Why must I push and push and...... sigh.
Here we go again.
In the continuation of my former, ex-best friend never-ending saga, there are further developments.
But let's stop right there for a moment. Let's give this girl a name for Pete's sake. (And why Pete???)
Let's call her.......Pez. Ha ha. I'm the only one laughing because I know why.
So I had left her a facebook message on her profile page, from last recall. My message had outlined what I'd been up to lately, and then, in line with my stupid 'test' I put the question to her. I had suggested we catch up, as we had planned so many many months earlier but had never gotten around to, hence leaving the ball in her court, to either lob back, or simply let fall to the ground.
A few days passed, and nothing. No sign, no message, no news, no response from Pez. And so I thought to myself, "Cool." I was happy. Really, TRULY I was. I thought to myself that she clearly wasn't interested in a catch up or just wasn't sure about it, and I didn't reproach her for it, because honestly, I wasn't sure myself.
Thinking all was over, and I don't know WHY I thought I had to do it, but I made a facebook status in response to this recent turn of events. Honestly, I don't know what I was trying to achieve. Was I trying to bait her with a reply? Was I pretending I was ok when I wasn't? I truly feel cool about it all, I feel no hostility towards her whatsoever, and yet, I decided to write this, for all to see on my facebook page:
Thank you, I asked you a question and you answered. Now I can move on :)
Now, is that really obvious, or is that REALLY obvious? At the time I didn't think it was really obvious. I thought, "hey, it's clearly a statement that can be made to illustrate ANY life situation, any person, any event."
About one day passed after that status update, when I received an email notification, telling me that Pez had written something to me.
O-M-G. We meet again.
At the time I absolutely shit myself, thinking she had responded DIRECTLY to my status. But in fact, no, she was just responding to my earlier post on her wall about catching up. Her response sounded quite genuine. She enthusiastically agreed that a catch-up was a great idea and that we should do it, despite the fact that things were crazy busy at the moment.
I could have kicked myself in the butt, if I had been able to dislocate my leg to do it. Now all I could think of was, "is she responding because she wants to, or because she read between the lines in my status?"
D'oh, d'oh, d'oh.
Oh, if only I hadn't been so philosophical about different stages of life, friends coming and going, everything has a meaning, la di da di da. Blah.
Now the only thing I can do is wonder. Wonder what her true feelings are. And sadly, I do regret typing that status. Because a part of me did want this stage of my life to be over. And now I feel I'm forced into a puppet show, with my idiotic 'life-is-so-meaningful' bullshit big mouth pulling the strings.
Ahh!
So, because I've made my bed, and now I must sleep in it, I responded to her message last night. I suggested a day that suits me for our catch-up, and I've let her know that if that doesn't work, we'll try another day and......
You know, all that fake I really care crap.
Yeah I know. I must sound like a real bitch right now. More than upset at anyone or anything, I'm upset at myself, and why I didn't just let things be.
And you know what? If this meeting does end up happening..... it's Now or Never.
In the harmonious words of Elvis, "Tomorrow will be too late, it's Now or Never....."
I will bring up the Elephant in the Room, God help me I will. Because really, I don't care anymore, and really, I have nothing to lose.
That's a sequel to keep anyone on the edge of their seat.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
total ECLIPSE of the heart
I am so super excited!!!! Eclipse midnight premiere tonight, WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!!
'Nuf said :-D
'Nuf said :-D
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Hello, House
I can see you. As I step up to the first step, and as I make my way through the front entrance, I marvel at the exquisite paintings and scultures, adorning the walls and the hallway to my left and my right.
As I peek into the master bedroom, to see a grand queen size bed, tallboy and a dresser, (all storage galore!) I am even more impressed upon further inspection to find an adjoining ensuite: double shower, further highlighted by 2 basins against the far wall, allowing plenty of space to get ready. Hint hint. The basins are lined underneath with a steady row of drawers, for any lotions, shampoos and make up products that need to be withdrawn within moments at any given time.
And connected to the ensuite is the motherboard: the walk-in-robe. Need I say more? Sections that allow full dresses to hang elegantly without touching the ground, paired with other hanger sections that allow jeans, tops, and singlets to co-exist harmoniously together, allowing ample room for all. A shelf runs along the top, for additional storage of mementos: photo albums, childhood treasures, and miscellaneous amounts of sentimental junk.
Out of the bedroom, down the short hallway and immediately to the left, I find the laundry. This here is a practical laundry: drawers lined up against the wall, which is in line with the washing machine and basin, are parallel to the high cupboards above which likewise stretch from wall to wall. And in one corner sits a full-length cupboard; there is no shortage of space in this laundromat.
Once I step out of the laundry, moving towards the back of the house, I reach the money shot. The living area. The huge all-encompassing space, that includes the kitchen, eating area and lounge, is all connected yet distinctly separate from one another in space and in style. Despite this, each zone flows into the next, creating a sort of chi, feng shui effect, that to the less-spiritual person, you just can't put your finger on.
The kitchen is a chef's dream: drawer upon drawer, cupboard upon cupboard, complimented beautifully with a spacious walk-in corner pantry. Large oven and cook-top, allow for fantastic meals to be prepared simply, easily and magnificently. The large rectangular bench-top, not only allows the proud host to prepare and cater to dinner party guests, but also acts as a double table; perhaps a good 6 people can eat around it.
The actual dining table, in the middle of the room has so much space, you can even add an extra table on either end to accomodate for additional guests! It provides a melodious space, a great melting pot for experiencing the food being prepared, to enjoying the comforts of the home in front of the television on the oh-so-comfy couch.
Speaking of the couch: what comfort it is to relax on you in the lounge. As I sit, taking in the luxuriousness, easiness, but also functionality of the huge living space, I'm able to breathe, relax and fully appreciate all that is around me, as it is all at my finger tips. The bookcase displaying your favourite reads on the right to the wall length windows, is only a short distance away from the buffet that stores the most flavoursome wines, liquers and spirits that your taste buds can easily grow accustomed to. Sitting here, as the fireplace looms on the opposite wall, I can easily see the day washing away, as I sink deeper and deeper into the couch, and deeper and deeper into an unconscious bliss.
The fireplace holds a surprise of its own, for on the other side, it houses a separate yet connected room, a reading room, or relaxing room you might say. What do you wish to do? Watch one of the movies from the ever-ranging DVD catalogue? Read a book in the comfy lounge chair, propped up by cushions that are so large they all but envelope you in their softness? Have a drink, just sit in the room and be? Or perhaps take a lie down on the wide angled couch, allowing the warmth of the double-sided fireplace to melt everything away? All this is possible in this room, where it becomes what you want it to.
Adjoining the lounge area, through the wide glass doors is the alfresco. This is an entertainment complex in its own right. Whether you choose to play a spot of billiards, sizzle a steak on the barbie, relax with a drink on the deck chairs, or simply enjoy the nostalgia that the walls around you paint: spotted with 60s, 70s and so forth memorabilia from around the world - cars, celebrities, personal items of worth - here you escape into another world. As with the lounge area you enjoy the space and luxuries around you, here you escape ALL spaces to become something entirely different. You're the star of the room, the pro of the billiards, the chef of the barbie, the celebrity sunning themself, cocktail in hand. It all happens here. Here anything and everything is possible.
Towards the end of the house, lie three bedrooms, ready and waiting. Do you want to be a guest here, and enjoy the not-so-humble joys of this home? You can :) And waiting for you will be a full sized wardrobe, to unpack your things and allow you to fully setlle in and enjoy all the delights that this experience has to offer. Come by yourself, or come with a partner or friend: there is room for all in the double bedroom rooms available. And nestled within the 3 bedrooms, with bathroom and toilet area, is the additional study. Practicality and functionality reign again as one wall in this study nook becomes a warm, inviting office space, for any personal projects you may wish to endeavour upon, while behind you lies a huge walk in cupboard, allowing additional space and storage for the keen host who says that storage is never enough (!)
The stunning mirrors, fantastic paintings, memorable photos, and modern sculptures that adorn this home, make it all the more brilliant. They paint a picture of the owners, one of warmth, love, creativity and style. Modern ideas fused with unique creations; it all comes together. The storage is there, as is the innovation. It is a perfect balance of functionality and fashion. I envy the style, the look, the lifestyle. This life is sublime.
As I finish this tour of the home, I realise: I am the host with the most. The chef with the sparkle in the kitchen. The celebrity with a cocktail sitting in the outside alfresco.
I am all of it. And I am all of it, because soon, it will all be mine.
The light is shining at the end of the tunnel. It is a tiny light, growing closer and closer every moment. I know, my time will come. And when it does, the house will sing and dance with happiness and love.
You are my house. I hope to see you in a year. And I hope that you are more magnificent in experience than in my dreams.
As I peek into the master bedroom, to see a grand queen size bed, tallboy and a dresser, (all storage galore!) I am even more impressed upon further inspection to find an adjoining ensuite: double shower, further highlighted by 2 basins against the far wall, allowing plenty of space to get ready. Hint hint. The basins are lined underneath with a steady row of drawers, for any lotions, shampoos and make up products that need to be withdrawn within moments at any given time.
And connected to the ensuite is the motherboard: the walk-in-robe. Need I say more? Sections that allow full dresses to hang elegantly without touching the ground, paired with other hanger sections that allow jeans, tops, and singlets to co-exist harmoniously together, allowing ample room for all. A shelf runs along the top, for additional storage of mementos: photo albums, childhood treasures, and miscellaneous amounts of sentimental junk.
Out of the bedroom, down the short hallway and immediately to the left, I find the laundry. This here is a practical laundry: drawers lined up against the wall, which is in line with the washing machine and basin, are parallel to the high cupboards above which likewise stretch from wall to wall. And in one corner sits a full-length cupboard; there is no shortage of space in this laundromat.
Once I step out of the laundry, moving towards the back of the house, I reach the money shot. The living area. The huge all-encompassing space, that includes the kitchen, eating area and lounge, is all connected yet distinctly separate from one another in space and in style. Despite this, each zone flows into the next, creating a sort of chi, feng shui effect, that to the less-spiritual person, you just can't put your finger on.
The kitchen is a chef's dream: drawer upon drawer, cupboard upon cupboard, complimented beautifully with a spacious walk-in corner pantry. Large oven and cook-top, allow for fantastic meals to be prepared simply, easily and magnificently. The large rectangular bench-top, not only allows the proud host to prepare and cater to dinner party guests, but also acts as a double table; perhaps a good 6 people can eat around it.
The actual dining table, in the middle of the room has so much space, you can even add an extra table on either end to accomodate for additional guests! It provides a melodious space, a great melting pot for experiencing the food being prepared, to enjoying the comforts of the home in front of the television on the oh-so-comfy couch.
Speaking of the couch: what comfort it is to relax on you in the lounge. As I sit, taking in the luxuriousness, easiness, but also functionality of the huge living space, I'm able to breathe, relax and fully appreciate all that is around me, as it is all at my finger tips. The bookcase displaying your favourite reads on the right to the wall length windows, is only a short distance away from the buffet that stores the most flavoursome wines, liquers and spirits that your taste buds can easily grow accustomed to. Sitting here, as the fireplace looms on the opposite wall, I can easily see the day washing away, as I sink deeper and deeper into the couch, and deeper and deeper into an unconscious bliss.
The fireplace holds a surprise of its own, for on the other side, it houses a separate yet connected room, a reading room, or relaxing room you might say. What do you wish to do? Watch one of the movies from the ever-ranging DVD catalogue? Read a book in the comfy lounge chair, propped up by cushions that are so large they all but envelope you in their softness? Have a drink, just sit in the room and be? Or perhaps take a lie down on the wide angled couch, allowing the warmth of the double-sided fireplace to melt everything away? All this is possible in this room, where it becomes what you want it to.
Adjoining the lounge area, through the wide glass doors is the alfresco. This is an entertainment complex in its own right. Whether you choose to play a spot of billiards, sizzle a steak on the barbie, relax with a drink on the deck chairs, or simply enjoy the nostalgia that the walls around you paint: spotted with 60s, 70s and so forth memorabilia from around the world - cars, celebrities, personal items of worth - here you escape into another world. As with the lounge area you enjoy the space and luxuries around you, here you escape ALL spaces to become something entirely different. You're the star of the room, the pro of the billiards, the chef of the barbie, the celebrity sunning themself, cocktail in hand. It all happens here. Here anything and everything is possible.
Towards the end of the house, lie three bedrooms, ready and waiting. Do you want to be a guest here, and enjoy the not-so-humble joys of this home? You can :) And waiting for you will be a full sized wardrobe, to unpack your things and allow you to fully setlle in and enjoy all the delights that this experience has to offer. Come by yourself, or come with a partner or friend: there is room for all in the double bedroom rooms available. And nestled within the 3 bedrooms, with bathroom and toilet area, is the additional study. Practicality and functionality reign again as one wall in this study nook becomes a warm, inviting office space, for any personal projects you may wish to endeavour upon, while behind you lies a huge walk in cupboard, allowing additional space and storage for the keen host who says that storage is never enough (!)
The stunning mirrors, fantastic paintings, memorable photos, and modern sculptures that adorn this home, make it all the more brilliant. They paint a picture of the owners, one of warmth, love, creativity and style. Modern ideas fused with unique creations; it all comes together. The storage is there, as is the innovation. It is a perfect balance of functionality and fashion. I envy the style, the look, the lifestyle. This life is sublime.
As I finish this tour of the home, I realise: I am the host with the most. The chef with the sparkle in the kitchen. The celebrity with a cocktail sitting in the outside alfresco.
I am all of it. And I am all of it, because soon, it will all be mine.
The light is shining at the end of the tunnel. It is a tiny light, growing closer and closer every moment. I know, my time will come. And when it does, the house will sing and dance with happiness and love.
You are my house. I hope to see you in a year. And I hope that you are more magnificent in experience than in my dreams.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
O-M-G.
I don't even know how to begin this blog. I think I should begin with: Life is bloody weird. The Universe is WEIRD. It screws with you and gives you things after you have proclaimed that you don't wish for them anymore.
It all started yesterday. Yesterday with my 'sick' blog (so to speak).
After posting that blog, still suffering from my cold/flu/possessed body symptoms, I couldn't really motivate myself to get back to work. It was tooooooo hard. So I started randomly reading some of my old posts. I just started clicking, and one click led to another; soon I was reading one of my earliest posts about a close friendship I'd had that had failed, and how after a meeting with her 10 years after the fact, I had come to the realisation that we were just destined to grow apart; and I was ok with this. I could move on.
The post in question: When I was 14, I was right - Part 2 (The Elephant in the Room)
I had been really enjoying reading all my posts. Laughing a bit, and getting caught up in all the stuff that had happened in my life over the past year. I was happy with my chronicling, and proud that I actually enjoyed my OWN work. So you can imagine how I must have felt when reaching the end of that current post, I read the last few lines and smiled with such contentment:
'Life can be weird. It gives you things when you least want them, and tests you by taking away often what you think is dearest to you. However, life is at it's most unique when it shows you that you were right all along. I'll find out soon enough if this is the case for me.'
I absolutely fell in love with this sentence. I was so proud that a quote, filled with such meaning, poignanty and realism, had come from ME. My mind, my creativity. I was so rapt in the moment, I immediately decided that that night I would make my facebook status that quote, minus the "I'll find out..." last line.
Although those lines were specific to that particular post, the encompassing meaning of life that rang through it made me think that it would be perfect as a facebook status, because often in life, we as humans come across situations that do test us, with unexpected things thrown our way.
I was telling Hubbie about it that night as we got ready to eat, and then I showed him the quote online. I was so excited about this quote, more for the fact that I loved the surprising nature of its meaning, rather than WHY I had written it in the first place.
So when I finally logged onto facebook, I copied and pasted into my status section:
'Life can be weird. It gives you things when you least want them, and tests you by taking away often what you think is dearest to you. However, life is at it's most unique when it shows you that you were right all along.'
I pasted it, and self-indulgently read it a few more times.
I was wondering if and when any of my facebook friends would see it and whether they would like it, so I clicked on the tab on the lower right hand corner to see who was currently online.
There were probably about 10 people. One of them was her.
As in my ex, previous, former best friend, of who I had just posted a quote that I loved, from a blog I'd written about our failed friendship, months and months ago.
I sort of smiled, thinking of the odd coincidence that she would also be online at this exact moment.
Not even a long moment later, I noticed that I had a red number 2, highlighted at the top of my notifications tab on the top left side.
I immediately thought: "that was quick. Must be someone referring to my status update."
After all, that was the only change to my page I had recently posted.
As I clicked on the tab to see who had done what, I almost froze. SHE had made a comment on my status, and also "like"-d it.
As I quickly clicked onto my status to read her comment, I had a weird half-smile on my face; I couldn't believe the absolute ridiculousness of it all.
Her comment went along the lines of "Yes, it's all part of life's lessons..."
I sat there, absolutely stunned about the events that had just progressed in the last 2 minutes. And yes it was only 2 minutes. I had posted a status, (the background text said "2 minutes ago") and her comment on it had followed so quickly afterwards ("posted 1 minute ago" - said the background text).
I had posted a quote that I absolutely loved. From a post about her and I, from my blog. About our failed friendship. The conclusion of that post had been that I was happy where we were in our lives, and I had no intention whatsoever of pursuing a friendship with her again, as I'd realised we'd had our time together, and now we were going our separate ways. Like that often circulating email: reason, season, lifetime. I can never work out the difference between reason and season friends, but she was a reason-er/season-er to me.
Or so I thought.
And out of all the friends on facebook, the one person who immediately commented and "liked" my status, was her! Un-freaking-believable, the whole irony of it!
I had to let Hubbie know, and he read over my shoulder as I filled him in on what had just gone down.
So I was left with two questions, two scenarios.
Was this the Universe's way of freaking messing with me? Well no, this wasn't one of my questions, but the thought did cross my mind. My question actually was: was this the Universe's way of telling me to not give up? Was it telling me that our friendship was not over, not done, the story of our lives had not yet reached it's conclusion? I couldn't help but ponder all this, especially since I found the incident so remarkable that it couldn't possibly be put down to just 'coincidence.' Some wild coincidence I say!
Or, was it something else? Had I attracted her response, in line with The Secret philosophies that I so strongly live by now? I had been reading the post I'd written about our friendship during the day. I absolutely LOVED the quote I'd written at the end of it. I'd spent all day thinking about it as my facebook status, and then spent a good portion of that night excitedly telling Hubbie about it. Had I inadvertently attracted this situation, and her response, to me?
I thought for a bit, and then did the only thing I thought was right to do. Test it. I didn't really care what would happen, so the outcome would only tell me which of my theories was correct, with no love lost.
So I wrote on her facebook page, just a general comment like "how have you been anyway? a very very belated happy birthday, looks like you had fun!" (in reference to birthday photos she'd recently put up.
She responded quickly again, saying it had been a great night and asking how I was. I chose the opportunity to do what I'd never thought I'd do again:
"yeah things are pretty good. (-insert talk about being sick as a dog, blah, blah, blah-) Maybe we should have that catch up we spoke about last time, when things calm down a bit. Take care:)"
I did it. I never, ever, EVER thought I would initiate any sort of contact with her again. Not that I hated her. It wasn't like that. I was just over the whole angst of all the years of "oh how sad our friendship has come to an end" bullshit I'd grown so accustomed to. The liberation of knowing it was just meant to be helped me to look forward and not worry about all that anymore. Our friendship was meant to end. I think....
Look, I'm not being hopeful or anything. I don't really care, honestly. I have no need for her. I'm just curious. And playing a game with the Universe to see what will conspire.
She hasn't messaged back to my comment. Either she hasn't seen it, or she is thinking about it. Or, she may just ignore it. And in that case I will know it was just a random coincidental incident that occurred, that I had freakily attracted her response due to my mad excitement about the quote in the first place.
But if she responds, and positively......Well that will make me think. I'll have to really think. And ask myself if I'm ready to go down this path and allow her into my life, when I have such fantastic friends already. I just don't know if I want to do that.
And if we by some odd, weird, peculiar and random chance end up friends again.... .well I'll just be flabbergasted I think. I'll need to start circulating an email of my own, with an extra addition to the reason, season, lifetime friends......
The Lightning Friend.
You have a lightning friend when you are close for a long period of time, and then, for no apparent, clear reason at all, due to no wrongdoing on anyone's part, your friendship ends. It may be that your friend goes away. You may simply just grow apart. You may both just need time to yourselves, so that you can breathe on your own and become your own person, in your own separate times.
And then, when you least expect it, often when you believe your friendship is over and dead to you, it will return. It will happen in the most unlikely and unexpected manner; but believe it, it is real, it is true.
However, be aware: this form of friendship is quite rare, thus the name, The Lightning Friend. Once this person enters your life again, it is a significant moment: the friendship should be cherished, preserved, and not taken advantage of.
Because lightning rarely strikes twice.
LOL.
It all started yesterday. Yesterday with my 'sick' blog (so to speak).
After posting that blog, still suffering from my cold/flu/possessed body symptoms, I couldn't really motivate myself to get back to work. It was tooooooo hard. So I started randomly reading some of my old posts. I just started clicking, and one click led to another; soon I was reading one of my earliest posts about a close friendship I'd had that had failed, and how after a meeting with her 10 years after the fact, I had come to the realisation that we were just destined to grow apart; and I was ok with this. I could move on.
The post in question: When I was 14, I was right - Part 2 (The Elephant in the Room)
I had been really enjoying reading all my posts. Laughing a bit, and getting caught up in all the stuff that had happened in my life over the past year. I was happy with my chronicling, and proud that I actually enjoyed my OWN work. So you can imagine how I must have felt when reaching the end of that current post, I read the last few lines and smiled with such contentment:
'Life can be weird. It gives you things when you least want them, and tests you by taking away often what you think is dearest to you. However, life is at it's most unique when it shows you that you were right all along. I'll find out soon enough if this is the case for me.'
I absolutely fell in love with this sentence. I was so proud that a quote, filled with such meaning, poignanty and realism, had come from ME. My mind, my creativity. I was so rapt in the moment, I immediately decided that that night I would make my facebook status that quote, minus the "I'll find out..." last line.
Although those lines were specific to that particular post, the encompassing meaning of life that rang through it made me think that it would be perfect as a facebook status, because often in life, we as humans come across situations that do test us, with unexpected things thrown our way.
I was telling Hubbie about it that night as we got ready to eat, and then I showed him the quote online. I was so excited about this quote, more for the fact that I loved the surprising nature of its meaning, rather than WHY I had written it in the first place.
So when I finally logged onto facebook, I copied and pasted into my status section:
'Life can be weird. It gives you things when you least want them, and tests you by taking away often what you think is dearest to you. However, life is at it's most unique when it shows you that you were right all along.'
I pasted it, and self-indulgently read it a few more times.
I was wondering if and when any of my facebook friends would see it and whether they would like it, so I clicked on the tab on the lower right hand corner to see who was currently online.
There were probably about 10 people. One of them was her.
As in my ex, previous, former best friend, of who I had just posted a quote that I loved, from a blog I'd written about our failed friendship, months and months ago.
I sort of smiled, thinking of the odd coincidence that she would also be online at this exact moment.
Not even a long moment later, I noticed that I had a red number 2, highlighted at the top of my notifications tab on the top left side.
I immediately thought: "that was quick. Must be someone referring to my status update."
After all, that was the only change to my page I had recently posted.
As I clicked on the tab to see who had done what, I almost froze. SHE had made a comment on my status, and also "like"-d it.
As I quickly clicked onto my status to read her comment, I had a weird half-smile on my face; I couldn't believe the absolute ridiculousness of it all.
Her comment went along the lines of "Yes, it's all part of life's lessons..."
I sat there, absolutely stunned about the events that had just progressed in the last 2 minutes. And yes it was only 2 minutes. I had posted a status, (the background text said "2 minutes ago") and her comment on it had followed so quickly afterwards ("posted 1 minute ago" - said the background text).
I had posted a quote that I absolutely loved. From a post about her and I, from my blog. About our failed friendship. The conclusion of that post had been that I was happy where we were in our lives, and I had no intention whatsoever of pursuing a friendship with her again, as I'd realised we'd had our time together, and now we were going our separate ways. Like that often circulating email: reason, season, lifetime. I can never work out the difference between reason and season friends, but she was a reason-er/season-er to me.
Or so I thought.
And out of all the friends on facebook, the one person who immediately commented and "liked" my status, was her! Un-freaking-believable, the whole irony of it!
I had to let Hubbie know, and he read over my shoulder as I filled him in on what had just gone down.
So I was left with two questions, two scenarios.
Was this the Universe's way of freaking messing with me? Well no, this wasn't one of my questions, but the thought did cross my mind. My question actually was: was this the Universe's way of telling me to not give up? Was it telling me that our friendship was not over, not done, the story of our lives had not yet reached it's conclusion? I couldn't help but ponder all this, especially since I found the incident so remarkable that it couldn't possibly be put down to just 'coincidence.' Some wild coincidence I say!
Or, was it something else? Had I attracted her response, in line with The Secret philosophies that I so strongly live by now? I had been reading the post I'd written about our friendship during the day. I absolutely LOVED the quote I'd written at the end of it. I'd spent all day thinking about it as my facebook status, and then spent a good portion of that night excitedly telling Hubbie about it. Had I inadvertently attracted this situation, and her response, to me?
I thought for a bit, and then did the only thing I thought was right to do. Test it. I didn't really care what would happen, so the outcome would only tell me which of my theories was correct, with no love lost.
So I wrote on her facebook page, just a general comment like "how have you been anyway? a very very belated happy birthday, looks like you had fun!" (in reference to birthday photos she'd recently put up.
She responded quickly again, saying it had been a great night and asking how I was. I chose the opportunity to do what I'd never thought I'd do again:
"yeah things are pretty good. (-insert talk about being sick as a dog, blah, blah, blah-) Maybe we should have that catch up we spoke about last time, when things calm down a bit. Take care:)"
I did it. I never, ever, EVER thought I would initiate any sort of contact with her again. Not that I hated her. It wasn't like that. I was just over the whole angst of all the years of "oh how sad our friendship has come to an end" bullshit I'd grown so accustomed to. The liberation of knowing it was just meant to be helped me to look forward and not worry about all that anymore. Our friendship was meant to end. I think....
Look, I'm not being hopeful or anything. I don't really care, honestly. I have no need for her. I'm just curious. And playing a game with the Universe to see what will conspire.
She hasn't messaged back to my comment. Either she hasn't seen it, or she is thinking about it. Or, she may just ignore it. And in that case I will know it was just a random coincidental incident that occurred, that I had freakily attracted her response due to my mad excitement about the quote in the first place.
But if she responds, and positively......Well that will make me think. I'll have to really think. And ask myself if I'm ready to go down this path and allow her into my life, when I have such fantastic friends already. I just don't know if I want to do that.
And if we by some odd, weird, peculiar and random chance end up friends again.... .well I'll just be flabbergasted I think. I'll need to start circulating an email of my own, with an extra addition to the reason, season, lifetime friends......
The Lightning Friend.
You have a lightning friend when you are close for a long period of time, and then, for no apparent, clear reason at all, due to no wrongdoing on anyone's part, your friendship ends. It may be that your friend goes away. You may simply just grow apart. You may both just need time to yourselves, so that you can breathe on your own and become your own person, in your own separate times.
And then, when you least expect it, often when you believe your friendship is over and dead to you, it will return. It will happen in the most unlikely and unexpected manner; but believe it, it is real, it is true.
However, be aware: this form of friendship is quite rare, thus the name, The Lightning Friend. Once this person enters your life again, it is a significant moment: the friendship should be cherished, preserved, and not taken advantage of.
Because lightning rarely strikes twice.
LOL.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's the Thought that Counts
I had a weird dream last night. Yes, you may say, another odd dream, what's new? Especially given the content of my most recent blogs. But I guess the content made it weird, I just don't get it.
So in the dream, my cousin Legs, who is currently planning her own matrimonial mayhems, was there with her sister. We'll call her Hair, if we haven't already given her a name. Hair says to me in the dream, in front of her sister Legs, and in front of their listening Mum (intimidating much?!) "can Legs borrow your wedding dress for her wedding, she's finding it so hard to find her own."
The operative words in this sentence are borrow your wedding dress and my reaction in the dream, is as you'd expect, quite similar to one I'd have in real life.
Unhappy and sad. I want my wedding dress to remain as my wedding dress, not someone else's! If anything, if anyone could wear my wedding dress, it would be my daughter if that situation ever arose and she wanted to. I think I even thought that in my dream. Also, I felt pressured in the dream, especially in front of Legs and Hair's mum, which is why in my dream I reluctantly agreed, although it was almost like a "I don't think it will work" agreement which was construed by them as a "she's coming around."
So I ended up bringing out my wedding dress, and it looked different to what it is in real life, it had shades of brown on it or something. And then, thankfully, luckily, the dress didn't fit on her. And here's the weird part again: it wasn't Legs trying on my dress for her wedding, it was her sister, Hair, who isn't getting married.... hmmmm or is she? Hair had actually reverted to her childhood self in the part where she tried on my dress in the dream, which is even more trippy.
I've been too busy recovering from being sick lately that I can't even be bothered trying to work out this dream and what it could mean. However, the dream did remind me of some closure I could provide regarding another matter concerning Legs and her upcoming nuptials, in the form of bridesmaid-ery.......
Yes, the matter of Legs asking me to be bridesmaid whilst under the influence and being highly emotional, and then pretending it never happened. That hilariously ridiculous matter is what I am speaking of.
I saw her a few months ago I think, at a family gathering, and we got to talking about her wedding, her wedding plans, what she had organised, and all things wedding related. I love talking about all that, having been through it, but also I love being able to help others going through the same process, as I know there is so much involved, and so much to think of that you could easily miss.
I had never planned to outright ask her who her bridesmaids were; I didn't want to put her on the spot and make her feel bad, make her feel like she had to explain herself to me. But I did want to put her at ease, regarding wedding talk with me, and I can't deny, I was curious about who her bridesmaids were, especially if one of them was my other cousin Fake, and whether Fake had managed to worm her way into the bridal party.
I think in asking her about her bridesmaid dresses, that's when she told me; it was almost like she breathed in, mentally braced herself and allowed herself to speak, and then she told me - I think she was a little nervous.
So she revealed her 3: her sister Hair (no surprise there) her best friend (again, good choice), and then.......
our cousin......... our much younger 14 year old, very sweet cousin.
I smiled and said, very sincerely "you've made some really good bridesmaid choices." And I meant it. I think I also commented on the fact that it was good they were all young, stressing the young part, as Fake is the older cousin, who at that other party ages ago, was pathetically trying to include herself in the bridal party without invitation.
So it is all good. I let her know she made a good choice with her selections, because honestly, I don't want her to feel weird about what happened, the invite, the unofficial un-invite and what-not. I'm happy for her. And I'm just happy knowing what I know: in her moment of not-thinking, of being relaxed, giddy and happy in her time of celebration, with no hesitation and totally uninhibited, she turned to me and said:
"Miss S, I want you to be my bridesmaid."
And that is enough. :)
So in the dream, my cousin Legs, who is currently planning her own matrimonial mayhems, was there with her sister. We'll call her Hair, if we haven't already given her a name. Hair says to me in the dream, in front of her sister Legs, and in front of their listening Mum (intimidating much?!) "can Legs borrow your wedding dress for her wedding, she's finding it so hard to find her own."
The operative words in this sentence are borrow your wedding dress and my reaction in the dream, is as you'd expect, quite similar to one I'd have in real life.
Unhappy and sad. I want my wedding dress to remain as my wedding dress, not someone else's! If anything, if anyone could wear my wedding dress, it would be my daughter if that situation ever arose and she wanted to. I think I even thought that in my dream. Also, I felt pressured in the dream, especially in front of Legs and Hair's mum, which is why in my dream I reluctantly agreed, although it was almost like a "I don't think it will work" agreement which was construed by them as a "she's coming around."
So I ended up bringing out my wedding dress, and it looked different to what it is in real life, it had shades of brown on it or something. And then, thankfully, luckily, the dress didn't fit on her. And here's the weird part again: it wasn't Legs trying on my dress for her wedding, it was her sister, Hair, who isn't getting married.... hmmmm or is she? Hair had actually reverted to her childhood self in the part where she tried on my dress in the dream, which is even more trippy.
I've been too busy recovering from being sick lately that I can't even be bothered trying to work out this dream and what it could mean. However, the dream did remind me of some closure I could provide regarding another matter concerning Legs and her upcoming nuptials, in the form of bridesmaid-ery.......
Yes, the matter of Legs asking me to be bridesmaid whilst under the influence and being highly emotional, and then pretending it never happened. That hilariously ridiculous matter is what I am speaking of.
I saw her a few months ago I think, at a family gathering, and we got to talking about her wedding, her wedding plans, what she had organised, and all things wedding related. I love talking about all that, having been through it, but also I love being able to help others going through the same process, as I know there is so much involved, and so much to think of that you could easily miss.
I had never planned to outright ask her who her bridesmaids were; I didn't want to put her on the spot and make her feel bad, make her feel like she had to explain herself to me. But I did want to put her at ease, regarding wedding talk with me, and I can't deny, I was curious about who her bridesmaids were, especially if one of them was my other cousin Fake, and whether Fake had managed to worm her way into the bridal party.
I think in asking her about her bridesmaid dresses, that's when she told me; it was almost like she breathed in, mentally braced herself and allowed herself to speak, and then she told me - I think she was a little nervous.
So she revealed her 3: her sister Hair (no surprise there) her best friend (again, good choice), and then.......
our cousin......... our much younger 14 year old, very sweet cousin.
I smiled and said, very sincerely "you've made some really good bridesmaid choices." And I meant it. I think I also commented on the fact that it was good they were all young, stressing the young part, as Fake is the older cousin, who at that other party ages ago, was pathetically trying to include herself in the bridal party without invitation.
So it is all good. I let her know she made a good choice with her selections, because honestly, I don't want her to feel weird about what happened, the invite, the unofficial un-invite and what-not. I'm happy for her. And I'm just happy knowing what I know: in her moment of not-thinking, of being relaxed, giddy and happy in her time of celebration, with no hesitation and totally uninhibited, she turned to me and said:
"Miss S, I want you to be my bridesmaid."
And that is enough. :)
This Is Sick
It starts with an odd, dry, ticking sensation in your throat, that proceeds to a harsher, dryer, discomfort.
Sort of like a sharp instrument stuck there, and pointing at all sides of your throat.
After coughing a dry cough, for a day or two, the real deal-breaker comes in.
The flem.
It gathers in your throat, and it can either go up or down.
In front of people, you literally have to close your eyes and swallow, take in the slug, and pray it doesn't come back. But in the comfort of your own privacy, you hack and cough and try to get all the shit out, the shit that keeps blocking your throat (and hey now it's getting into your nose, too), but it is relentless and this incredible amount of flem just keeps coming back.
You cough and cough. You don't know why you cough anymore, it almost becomes a habit, getting air out, something out. When you cough it starts to hurt, your lungs heave, your whole chest and rib-cage area are stirred and pressured to an extent that makes you cringe everytime your mouth makes that convulsive "o" shape.
The coughing alternates. Sometimes it's a disgustingly, flem-induced cough, which does nothing more than push the flem that is deep down, stuck in the middle-of-nowhere land right up into your throat.
Again, if in front of people, all you can do is try and keep down this disgusting goo. Your voice is affected: it is scratchy, hoarse, infected and all you can do is pat your chest and keep on coughing.
The other type of cough is the dry, stabbing cough, where you feel the burn as if you are experiencing the driest desert in your mouth, and simultaneously a desert that is filled with knife-wielding men. Now you realise that the sharp instrument in your throat is in fact a cheese grater. You try and swallow (because with this cough, you want to) and fill up your throat with any kind of moisture you can gather, but to no avail. Because you will get better when you are better, and no amount of swallowing, hacking or coughing will do anything to help the cause.
To screw things up even more, just when you think things are getting more bearable, the slightest turn, nod or shake fills your head with such a deep, throbbing intense ache that even lying down doesn't help. It only changes the ache to throb at a horizontal level.
Your head aches when you're in the cold. It aches when you move. It aches most probably because you're not drinking enough water, and you're not drinking water because you'd rather have hot drinks to soothe your damaged, stressed-out throat. Hence the paradox in the situation.
Did I mention the voice? Part drag-queen/whisper/baby/50s sultry screen siren/hormonal teenage boy? Got all that? Yeah, good.
It's so entertaining having your voice break and change in so many levels just in the one sentence.
Halfway through your ill-induced consciousness now known as the only life you know, you actually lose your voice. All that can come out is a raspy, breathy gasp, if that. You think of what your weird hybrid of a voice was previous to this, and ask yourself the question, which would I prefer.... no voice or deformed voice?
Before you have much time to ponder the endless advantages of either option, the drag queen is back.
So all you do is wait for it to be over.
Or get meds from the doctor which is what I did 2 days ago....
Ahh, winter. No other season screws you like this.
Sort of like a sharp instrument stuck there, and pointing at all sides of your throat.
After coughing a dry cough, for a day or two, the real deal-breaker comes in.
The flem.
It gathers in your throat, and it can either go up or down.
In front of people, you literally have to close your eyes and swallow, take in the slug, and pray it doesn't come back. But in the comfort of your own privacy, you hack and cough and try to get all the shit out, the shit that keeps blocking your throat (and hey now it's getting into your nose, too), but it is relentless and this incredible amount of flem just keeps coming back.
You cough and cough. You don't know why you cough anymore, it almost becomes a habit, getting air out, something out. When you cough it starts to hurt, your lungs heave, your whole chest and rib-cage area are stirred and pressured to an extent that makes you cringe everytime your mouth makes that convulsive "o" shape.
The coughing alternates. Sometimes it's a disgustingly, flem-induced cough, which does nothing more than push the flem that is deep down, stuck in the middle-of-nowhere land right up into your throat.
Again, if in front of people, all you can do is try and keep down this disgusting goo. Your voice is affected: it is scratchy, hoarse, infected and all you can do is pat your chest and keep on coughing.
The other type of cough is the dry, stabbing cough, where you feel the burn as if you are experiencing the driest desert in your mouth, and simultaneously a desert that is filled with knife-wielding men. Now you realise that the sharp instrument in your throat is in fact a cheese grater. You try and swallow (because with this cough, you want to) and fill up your throat with any kind of moisture you can gather, but to no avail. Because you will get better when you are better, and no amount of swallowing, hacking or coughing will do anything to help the cause.
To screw things up even more, just when you think things are getting more bearable, the slightest turn, nod or shake fills your head with such a deep, throbbing intense ache that even lying down doesn't help. It only changes the ache to throb at a horizontal level.
Your head aches when you're in the cold. It aches when you move. It aches most probably because you're not drinking enough water, and you're not drinking water because you'd rather have hot drinks to soothe your damaged, stressed-out throat. Hence the paradox in the situation.
Did I mention the voice? Part drag-queen/whisper/baby/50s sultry screen siren/hormonal teenage boy? Got all that? Yeah, good.
It's so entertaining having your voice break and change in so many levels just in the one sentence.
Halfway through your ill-induced consciousness now known as the only life you know, you actually lose your voice. All that can come out is a raspy, breathy gasp, if that. You think of what your weird hybrid of a voice was previous to this, and ask yourself the question, which would I prefer.... no voice or deformed voice?
Before you have much time to ponder the endless advantages of either option, the drag queen is back.
So all you do is wait for it to be over.
Or get meds from the doctor which is what I did 2 days ago....
Ahh, winter. No other season screws you like this.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
My Weird Dream
Two nights ago I had this weird dream. Weird not because of what I dreamt, I think it was more weird due to the emphasis of what happened, particularly since it wasn't something extraordinary that happened in the dream.
In my dream, which I think involved high school themes, (as in people from high school, the buildings at the school, etc, it's all quite a blur as dreams usually are) I could see myself. Not like seeing myself in an out-of-body context, but you know where you can see yourself doing things in your dream? Yeah like that. Only I actually saw myself, peering around the corner at myself. Yes weird number one, me looking at me.
There was also someone there, or more than one person there I'm not too sure, but it was someone from my high school days, that's the vibe I got. I think perhaps two dreams got mixed up there. (!) And as my sneaky self watched around the corner at my unaware self, my unaware self, just dressed in casual clothes, with my hair tied up in a ponytail, started to sneeze.
Once, twice, three times.
And not a little 'achoo.' These sneezes were with feeling. They were big, grand, and each one was a bit stronger than the last. I remember the last one quite clearly. As I breathed in deeply, I sneezed for the third time, and after it I exhaled, heavily, like that sneeze had taken every bit of emotion and energy out of me. I almost looked tired.
And that was it.
So can you see why I find it weird?
I like to analyse dreams, and try to work out my own in the process. I guess growing up, and listening to my parents tell stories from their childhood, has heavily influenced me. They grew up in a decade, country and time where people heavily spoke of "things" happening. There were ghost stories, only they weren't just made up fables to keep the kids from being too curious and adventurous, designed to keep them indoors and out of trouble. No, the stories they spoke of were of events that had happened, either to them, or someone they knew.
I know what you're thinking, and no, they're not urban legends, as familiar as the line "it happened to my mum's father..." sounds. I know this for sure, even though I haven't lived through it myself. My parents are not the sort to deliberately frighten you, and so the fact that they even told these stories, means there is some meaning to them. In fact, if as a child I had said, in response to one of these tales, "I'm scared to sleep now," instead of saying, "it was only a story," I would get a response like, "just don't think about it, that was then."
Just that thought alone makes me more confident in everything I've ever heard. I don't know why I don't hear stories of things like that happening nowadays, but part of me thinks, in line with The Secret, that the more you talk about a certain thing and believe in it, the more that thing will come to you. As people don't talk much about superstition nowadays, especially compared to let's say a century ago, I think these incidences don't occur as often. And when they do, in the new millenium of technology, they are ignored or not spoken of.
I might have even myself wondered whether or not my grandparents made up stories to scare my mum and dad when they were kids. But the fact that some of these stories actually come from my parents' experiences directly, supports my faith in them.
What are these "things" you may ask? Incidences involving a whole lot of spooky stuff, to sum it up. Lots of superstition, dark "things," black cats, and spirits, influenced quite heavily by religion. By this I mean that any sort of blasphemy or disrespect towards God brought about heavy penalties, in the form of weird things happening to the offender.
Along with these superstitions and stories, dreams were also looked at and analysed in the process, in order to gain an insight into why things happened, and what could happen in the future. When I think of some of the dreams I've heard, some of them so literal to the point that death in the dream actually resulted in death and life meant life, well, there's really no way to deny or ignore the truth. Although some dreams are literal, and other more of a metaphor to summarise something happening in your life, or something about to happen, I think it's hard to say there is no meaning.
And so, in coming back to my dream, it's because of all this that I take such interest in analysing them. My immediate thought, in thinking of my dream, was that it was such an ordinary event, but as I said, the emphasis on the ordinary, MADE it that much more interesting.
Firstly the sneeze. I thought "that's good." Good, because I saw it as an expression, something good coming out. I thought of what sneezes mean, and by that I don't mean that you have an itch in your nose and you get an urge to sneeze, I mean that with my parents, we have a common belief that if you or someone else is talking and one of you sneezes, what had been recently spoken of was true. Yes, a belief from the old school days. Every time we're talking and someone sneezes, my mum will say in her native tongue, "truth." So naturally, "truth" came to my mind when I started analysing.
I was at work when my dream came back to me, so I started looking up online dream dictionaries. I was curious about what some of the meanings of sneezing in your dream would mean.
One of the first web sites I came across defined this as something happy and joyful happening in my life. So that matched with my first assumption of what it meant.
But as I continued to search, not content with just the one definition, I started to look at my dream more deeply.
I thought of the fact that my hair was up - that was the first huge indicator for me. Hair generally means problems, so the fact that it was tied up and out of my way, suggested to me that some problems were going to be out of the way. And the hair being up, IS significant, as my everyday preference is wearing it down.
Secondly, I thought of the way in how I sneezed. It was with a lot of energy. The sneezing could represent a release of some kind, something from within me coming out. So that coupled with the emotion I did it with, I started to look at my dream from the perspective that some problem in my life, was going to go away. Something negative presently, was going to come out.
And yes, almost every other sneezing definition I found was also supporting that theory. All web sites pointed to sneezing being a metaphor for something being released, a negative something or someone leaving your life. A great web site I found in the midst of all this searching was sleeps.com. It made a lot of sense, and confirmed some dream-related queries I'd had for a while. Ever had a dream, look up the symbology in it and walk away wondering, "hmm, I don't know that I'm going to be starting another line of studying, but hey if the dream definition says so....." and the definition is just so not compatible with your current life, that you have to wonder? Well I raise my hand here. This site, and many others, were based around the central idea that you cannot reduce a dream you have to a single symbol, and you cannot go to a dictionary to find that symbol meaning, and expect it to relate to you. All dreams are subjective. A sneeze may mean release for me, but sickness to someone who has been sneezing lately. A range of things need to be looked at in order to analyse a dream, such as what the things in your dream mean to you, just in general, the word associations connected with your dream symbology, and a range of other things. A dream dictionary should only really be referred to if you have absolutely no association with something you dream of, if there is something you are especially neutral to.
Which makes absolute perfect sense. It's all about analysing the dream, and seeing what it means for you.
So in the end? I've come to the conclusion that given my every day association with sneezing, my dream symbology of hair, the emotion displayed in the dream, added with some of the definitions I found here and there on the web, that something negative, whether it be person or thing, will be released from my life soon. Which is great! I think this will bring out a lot of emotion, (hence the release from my sneeze) and the problem will be behind me once it is all over (the hair tied up).
There is A person in my life at the moment, who I am not particularly fond of. However this person is in the family, and so I don't know if they could really be put behind me forever. That is just not possible. However, perhaps my issue with them will be resolved. OR I may just give them a piece of my mind, and the WHOLE truth will come out. Now that's just scary.
I'll keep you informed if something happens. In the meantime, keep on dreamin'.
In my dream, which I think involved high school themes, (as in people from high school, the buildings at the school, etc, it's all quite a blur as dreams usually are) I could see myself. Not like seeing myself in an out-of-body context, but you know where you can see yourself doing things in your dream? Yeah like that. Only I actually saw myself, peering around the corner at myself. Yes weird number one, me looking at me.
There was also someone there, or more than one person there I'm not too sure, but it was someone from my high school days, that's the vibe I got. I think perhaps two dreams got mixed up there. (!) And as my sneaky self watched around the corner at my unaware self, my unaware self, just dressed in casual clothes, with my hair tied up in a ponytail, started to sneeze.
Once, twice, three times.
And not a little 'achoo.' These sneezes were with feeling. They were big, grand, and each one was a bit stronger than the last. I remember the last one quite clearly. As I breathed in deeply, I sneezed for the third time, and after it I exhaled, heavily, like that sneeze had taken every bit of emotion and energy out of me. I almost looked tired.
And that was it.
So can you see why I find it weird?
I like to analyse dreams, and try to work out my own in the process. I guess growing up, and listening to my parents tell stories from their childhood, has heavily influenced me. They grew up in a decade, country and time where people heavily spoke of "things" happening. There were ghost stories, only they weren't just made up fables to keep the kids from being too curious and adventurous, designed to keep them indoors and out of trouble. No, the stories they spoke of were of events that had happened, either to them, or someone they knew.
I know what you're thinking, and no, they're not urban legends, as familiar as the line "it happened to my mum's father..." sounds. I know this for sure, even though I haven't lived through it myself. My parents are not the sort to deliberately frighten you, and so the fact that they even told these stories, means there is some meaning to them. In fact, if as a child I had said, in response to one of these tales, "I'm scared to sleep now," instead of saying, "it was only a story," I would get a response like, "just don't think about it, that was then."
Just that thought alone makes me more confident in everything I've ever heard. I don't know why I don't hear stories of things like that happening nowadays, but part of me thinks, in line with The Secret, that the more you talk about a certain thing and believe in it, the more that thing will come to you. As people don't talk much about superstition nowadays, especially compared to let's say a century ago, I think these incidences don't occur as often. And when they do, in the new millenium of technology, they are ignored or not spoken of.
I might have even myself wondered whether or not my grandparents made up stories to scare my mum and dad when they were kids. But the fact that some of these stories actually come from my parents' experiences directly, supports my faith in them.
What are these "things" you may ask? Incidences involving a whole lot of spooky stuff, to sum it up. Lots of superstition, dark "things," black cats, and spirits, influenced quite heavily by religion. By this I mean that any sort of blasphemy or disrespect towards God brought about heavy penalties, in the form of weird things happening to the offender.
Along with these superstitions and stories, dreams were also looked at and analysed in the process, in order to gain an insight into why things happened, and what could happen in the future. When I think of some of the dreams I've heard, some of them so literal to the point that death in the dream actually resulted in death and life meant life, well, there's really no way to deny or ignore the truth. Although some dreams are literal, and other more of a metaphor to summarise something happening in your life, or something about to happen, I think it's hard to say there is no meaning.
And so, in coming back to my dream, it's because of all this that I take such interest in analysing them. My immediate thought, in thinking of my dream, was that it was such an ordinary event, but as I said, the emphasis on the ordinary, MADE it that much more interesting.
Firstly the sneeze. I thought "that's good." Good, because I saw it as an expression, something good coming out. I thought of what sneezes mean, and by that I don't mean that you have an itch in your nose and you get an urge to sneeze, I mean that with my parents, we have a common belief that if you or someone else is talking and one of you sneezes, what had been recently spoken of was true. Yes, a belief from the old school days. Every time we're talking and someone sneezes, my mum will say in her native tongue, "truth." So naturally, "truth" came to my mind when I started analysing.
I was at work when my dream came back to me, so I started looking up online dream dictionaries. I was curious about what some of the meanings of sneezing in your dream would mean.
One of the first web sites I came across defined this as something happy and joyful happening in my life. So that matched with my first assumption of what it meant.
But as I continued to search, not content with just the one definition, I started to look at my dream more deeply.
I thought of the fact that my hair was up - that was the first huge indicator for me. Hair generally means problems, so the fact that it was tied up and out of my way, suggested to me that some problems were going to be out of the way. And the hair being up, IS significant, as my everyday preference is wearing it down.
Secondly, I thought of the way in how I sneezed. It was with a lot of energy. The sneezing could represent a release of some kind, something from within me coming out. So that coupled with the emotion I did it with, I started to look at my dream from the perspective that some problem in my life, was going to go away. Something negative presently, was going to come out.
And yes, almost every other sneezing definition I found was also supporting that theory. All web sites pointed to sneezing being a metaphor for something being released, a negative something or someone leaving your life. A great web site I found in the midst of all this searching was sleeps.com. It made a lot of sense, and confirmed some dream-related queries I'd had for a while. Ever had a dream, look up the symbology in it and walk away wondering, "hmm, I don't know that I'm going to be starting another line of studying, but hey if the dream definition says so....." and the definition is just so not compatible with your current life, that you have to wonder? Well I raise my hand here. This site, and many others, were based around the central idea that you cannot reduce a dream you have to a single symbol, and you cannot go to a dictionary to find that symbol meaning, and expect it to relate to you. All dreams are subjective. A sneeze may mean release for me, but sickness to someone who has been sneezing lately. A range of things need to be looked at in order to analyse a dream, such as what the things in your dream mean to you, just in general, the word associations connected with your dream symbology, and a range of other things. A dream dictionary should only really be referred to if you have absolutely no association with something you dream of, if there is something you are especially neutral to.
Which makes absolute perfect sense. It's all about analysing the dream, and seeing what it means for you.
So in the end? I've come to the conclusion that given my every day association with sneezing, my dream symbology of hair, the emotion displayed in the dream, added with some of the definitions I found here and there on the web, that something negative, whether it be person or thing, will be released from my life soon. Which is great! I think this will bring out a lot of emotion, (hence the release from my sneeze) and the problem will be behind me once it is all over (the hair tied up).
There is A person in my life at the moment, who I am not particularly fond of. However this person is in the family, and so I don't know if they could really be put behind me forever. That is just not possible. However, perhaps my issue with them will be resolved. OR I may just give them a piece of my mind, and the WHOLE truth will come out. Now that's just scary.
I'll keep you informed if something happens. In the meantime, keep on dreamin'.
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